70: Change - Love it or Leave It

Change is hard, even when it's good for you. In this episode of Conversations for Couples, family therapist Julie Bulitt and divorce attorney David Bulitt turn the microphone on their own marriage to unpack why some people crave change while others dread it, and how that mismatch plays out in everyday decisions big and small.

The conversation starts with something small (getting a second dog) and opens into something bigger: how couples navigate change when one partner wants it and the other doesn't. Julie admits she is change averse and prefers predictability, while David describes himself as more adaptable. They trace how that difference showed up when David fell for a rescue puppy named Archie (originally named Crusher), how Julie eventually came around, and what that process revealed about compromise in a long marriage.

Julie and David widen the lens to talk about change that gets imposed on a relationship, like a shift in finances that forces a couple to cut back, and why that kind of forced change can hit even harder than change someone chooses for themselves. They also talk about why so many people stay stuck in unhappy situations simply because the unknown feels scarier than the familiar.

What You'll Learn:

Why some people are naturally more resistant to change than others

How unspoken assumptions about stability and comfort can create friction in a relationship

The difference between change you choose and change that gets imposed on you

Why acknowledging what's triggering about a change matters more than trying to "meet in the middle"

How Julie and David worked through a real disagreement over adopting their puppy, Archie.

Learn more about the Bulitts and their work at thebulitts.com, or connect with them on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, TikTok, and LinkedIn @TheBulitts.

Julie Bulitt is a licensed clinical social worker and family therapist. David Bulitt is a divorce and family lawyer. Julie is not your therapist and David is not your lawyer. This podcast is meant for educational and entertainment purposes only.