The Invisible Labor Killing Your Relationship — And What to Do About It

Gender equality at home isn't just better for women. It's better for everyone — and the research proves it.

The pandemic ripped the lid off something that had been simmering for decades: in most homes, the division of labor isn't equal — and it's making everyone less happy. But what do we actually do about it? And what does it take for men to genuinely show up as equal partners?

In this episode of Good Is In The Details, Gwendolyn Dolske and Rudy Salo sit down with Kate Mangino — gender expert, professional facilitator, and author of Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home (St. Martin's Press), featured in The Atlantic, CNN, the Washington Post, BBC World News, and The Guardian.

What we explore in this episode:

• Why the problem isn't women needing to be fixed or men needing to be blamed — both are equally victims of a gendered culture that assigned them roles they didn't choose.
• What the "EP40" teaches us: 40 men who are genuine equal partners at home — intentionally taking on half the physical AND emotional load. Where did they come from? What motivates them? What can other men learn?
• Cognitive labor and emotional labor: what they are, why women disproportionately carry them, and what it costs a relationship when they go unacknowledged.
• How the birth of a first child is one of the two life events most likely to cause a dramatic gender shift in previously equal partnerships and what to do about it.
• Why gender equality at home is good for men too; including for their health, happiness, and relationships with their children.
• How to have the conversation with a partner who isn't aware of the imbalance
• Practical, actionable steps for any household regardless of sexual orientation or family structure.

Guest: Kate Mangino — gender expert, facilitator, and author of Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home(St. Martin's Press, 2022). Her writing has appeared in Time, Harvard Business Review, Good Housekeeping, and Slate.

Learn more about Kate Mangino: https://www.katemangino.com

Read Kate's essay "You Might Want to Quiet Quit Housework, Too."

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