BPD and DBT: Using Skills in Real Life, Finding Good Treatment & Building a Life Worth Living

Have you ever tried DBT, decided it didn’t work for you, and wondered whether you were the problem?

In this episode of The BPD Bunch Brunch, Xannie and Melanie sit down with DBT experts Dr. Shireen Rizvi and Dr. Jesse Finkelstein to talk about what happens between learning a DBT skill and actually being able to use it when everything is falling apart.

The conversation gets into some harder questions too: Why do some people with BPD experience DBT as invalidating? What if your therapist says they “do DBT,” but the treatment looks nothing like adherent DBT? Can a client actually fail DBT? And how do you know when treatment itself needs to change?

They also discuss what DBT looks like beyond worksheets and coping skills, the tension between accepting yourself and changing your behavior, and what it actually means to build a life worth living.

If you’ve ever thought, “I tried DBT and it didn’t work for me,” this conversation may help you ask a different question: What kind of DBT did I actually receive?

Links/info:

Real Skills for Real Life:

Shireen and Jesse are also the authors of Real Skills for Real Life, a new guide designed to make DBT skills easier to understand, practice, and actually use in everyday life.

The book stays true to the DBT model and research while using illustrations, graphics, and step-by-step explanations to make complicated concepts more accessible. Whether you’re learning DBT for the first time, currently in treatment, or looking for a refresher on skills you’ve already learned, Real Skills for Real Life is designed to help bridge the gap between knowing a skill and putting it into practice.

The DBT-RU Cartoons YouTube Channel

Dr. Shireen Rizvi is a licensed clinical psychologist, board certified in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). She obtained her BA from Wesleyan University and her MS and PhD from the University of Washington. At the University of Washington, her mentor was Dr. Marsha Linehan, the developer of DBT. Over the past 25 years, Shireen has conducted research and training in DBT which has resulted in more than 100 peer-reviewed publications and book chapters. From 2009-2014, Shireen was Professor of Clinical Psychology at the Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology (GSAPP) at Rutgers University. She currently serves at Director of Psychology Training and Director of DBT Services and Research at Montefiore Einstein in New York City.

Visit shireenrizvi.com to find many free resources related to DBT.

Dr. Jesse Finkelstein is a licensed clinical psychologist and Linehan Board–certified clinician in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). He obtained his BA from Brown University and his PsyD from the Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology at Rutgers University. Dr. Finkelstein completed his predoctoral internship at Montefiore Medical Center and his postdoctoral fellowship at Columbia University Irving Medical Center, where he later served as an Instructor in Clinical Psychology. His clinical work focuses on evidence-based treatments including DBT, CBT, ACT, and exposure-based therapies for individuals struggling with emotion dysregulation, anxiety, trauma, and relationship difficulties.He is the co-founder of Therahive, where he develops accessible, skills-based psychoeducation grounded in evidence-based practices. He is also the founder of Axis Psychology, a private practice in New York City.

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Disclaimer:

Although several of our panelists work in the mental health field, we are all coming to you as people in functional recovery from BPD, and are not here to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.