175. How to Be More Confident Spending Time Alone | 5 Things That Changed How I Think About Loneliness

If you've ever felt like a loser for not having Friday night plans or like a "weirdo" for spending too much time alone...this episode is for you. I'll walk through my story first, including the impulsive cross-country move that made my loneliness worse instead of better (IYKYK), and then break down the 5 things that made me feel more confident in being alone and how you can apply them to your life too.

Topics covered:

👉🏻 Why moving into my first solo apartment in 2023 sent me into a spiral

👉🏻 The real reason I moved from LA to Chicago, and why it backfired completely

👉🏻 Why you have to stop waiting for your life to start

👉🏻 How to build a life you're actually excited to participate in

👉🏻 Why you need to stop living your life through somebody else's eyes

👉🏻 The difference between loneliness and solitude

Referenced in this episode:

👉🏻 153: How to Make Friends as an Adult — https://youtu.be/H2FA7uTSL1w

👉🏻 110: Living Alone Without Feeling Lonely | How to Build Confidence by Doing Things Alone — https://youtu.be/0rmaioROGcI

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TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — The skill I've spent the last 3–4 years building: actually enjoying being alone

06:00 — Moving into my first solo apartment at 28 hit me like a brick

12:00 — The 2 real reasons I was lonely, and neither one was about my surroundings

15:00 — Why Chicago ended up being the loneliest period of my entire life

22:00 — Why you have to stop waiting for your life to start

26:00 — Building a life you're actually excited to participate in & the hobbies I picked up

35:00 — How I stopped living my life for an imaginary audience

37:00 — Why you have to intentionally build community

44:00 — The distinction that reframed everything: solitude vs. loneliness

47:00 — Why I call solitude a superpower, and why that doesn't mean I don't want connection