477: Postpartum Depression, Identity Loss and Rethinking Beauty Standards

Sarah Hoover is a bestselling author, art historian and cultural critic whose memoir, The Motherload: Episodes from the Brink of Motherhood, offers a brutally candid account of pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum depression and the complicated realities of becoming a mother.

In this episode, Sarah joins me for an honest, funny and at times uncomfortable conversation about the parts of motherhood women still aren’t supposed to say out loud. We talk about her traumatic first birth, struggling to bond with her son, postpartum depression, rage and resentment, and what it feels like when the experience you were told would be the happiest of your life is anything but. We also get into maternal ambivalence, the pressure to be endlessly grateful, losing your identity after having a baby, and why admitting that motherhood is incredibly hard doesn’t mean you don’t love your children.

But this conversation is definitely not all heavy. We also get into beauty standards and how they’ve changed, our complicated relationship with aging and wanting to look good, makeup, personal style, the aesthetics we’re collectively tired of, and what our beauty choices say about the culture we’re living in. Sarah has such a sharp, funny perspective on the expectations placed on women—from how we’re supposed to mother to how we’re supposed to look—and we talk about all of it.

It’s ultimately a conversation about motherhood, beauty, identity, culture and the things women are often thinking but don’t always feel comfortable saying out loud.

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