I Feel Like I'm Tolerated | Melvin Lopez (S9E16)

Melvin Lopez is autistic. So is his five year old son, Mateo. And the first thing Melvin does in this conversation is take apart the assumption that those two facts give them something in common. "If you know one person with autism, you know one person with autism." That is a saying in his house. He talks about a day that starts at 4:30 in the morning because his son does not sleep. Not up and getting ready. Up and fully charged. He talks about fighting his own autism at the exact moment he is trying to parent his son's. And he gives the best description of coping skills I have heard in a long time, which is that nobody buys a good tool for the garage hoping to use it every day, because using it every day means something is always broken. Then I asked him the question this series is named after. Do you feel seen and heard? He said, "I feel like I'm tolerated." He was just as honest about the autism community as he was about everyone outside it. That is why I wanted this one out. Melvin lives in Clarksville, Tennessee, with his wife and their four children. He was diagnosed autistic as an adult, at Level 2, and has a background in the military. His son Mateo is five, is also Level 2, is in kindergarten, and is in ABA therapy. Level 2 is the designation that reads "requires substantial support." Melvin served, he works, and he is raising four kids. Both of those things are true at the same time, and that is most of what this episode is about. SPONSOR Thanks to Lovebug Probiotics for supporting this episode. Probiotics by age, from babies through adults, focused on digestive and immune support. Go to lovebug.com and use code THEAUTISMDAD20 for 20% off. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. ABOUT SEEN AND HEARD Seen and Heard is a short series from The Autism Dad Podcast. Real families get about fifteen minutes to describe their actual lives, in their own words, without anyone smoothing it out for them. MY BOOK So Your Child Was Just Diagnosed with Autism: Real Talk, Support, and Next Steps from a Dad Who's Been There is out December 29, 2026 from Fair Winds Press. If your child has just been diagnosed with autism, this is your compassionate first step guide from someone who has lived it. Preorder at theautismdad.com/book MORE FROM ME Everything I do lives at theautismdad.com. More Seen and Heard episodes at listen.theautismdad.com Melvin does not have public social accounts, so there is nothing to tag.