How Hiding My Sexuality Kept Me Shooting Oxy and Heroin Until I Finally Came Out | Ep 205

In this episode of Get a Grip Podcast, Louis Essig and Aaron Garnes sit down with Nick Newman for an incredibly raw and personal conversation about addiction, IV drug use, sexuality, relapse, recovery, and the moment he finally stopped hiding who he was.

Nick starts by taking us back to his childhood and high school years, eventually discovering his parents' stash of opiates. What began with partying and prescription pills eventually turned into daily drug use, taking him from college and a career in real estate to full-blown addiction.

Nick opens up about transitioning to IV drug use and what it was like shooting Dilaudid, mixing Percocet 30s with Dilaudid, and the dangerous trades and decisions that came with his addiction. Multiple attempts at treatment and even a "grand escape plan" to move away couldn't keep him from finding drugs.

He shares the unbelievable story of driving into a canal while trying to get pills, attending a Scientology treatment center, relapsing, and eventually progressing to shooting heroin and cocaine.

But there was another battle happening underneath the addiction.

Nick reveals how struggling with his sexuality and keeping that part of himself hidden became intertwined with his drug use. He talks about relationships, being told to "pray the gay away", secretly dating a man, and eventually admitting to his girlfriend—and then everyone else—that he was gay.For Nick, coming out wasn't simply about sexuality. It became part of finally confronting the truth about himself and understanding some of the reasons he had continued running back to drugs.

His addiction continued to evolve, including benzodiazepines, fentanyl, kratom, and another terrifying incident at the Cleveland Clinic. Nick describes using heroin and fentanyl at the hospital, overdosing during detox, and experiencing what he describes as the worst Narcan experience of his life.

Even after reaching two years sober, Nick experienced another devastating relapse following a breakup and eventually turned to methadone.

He shares what finally made his last relapse different, how therapy helped him begin addressing the underlying issues, and what recovery looks like for him today.This is a brutally honest conversation about addiction, identity, shame, relapse, and the freedom that can come from finally telling the truth.

🔥 Expect emotion. Expect truth. Expect hope.

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