Allostatic Load and the Impact on Autistic & AuDHD Daily Practice & Habits

If you understand your neurodivergent nervous system better than most people you know and still can't make a daily practice or a new habit stick, there are still elements from your life that you can adjust to work with how your brain is wired. This episode breaks down why understanding alone doesn't change neurodivergent nervous system patterns, and some ideas that can lead to a personal system that actually helps.

However... for late-diagnosed autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD adults, the problem is rarely a shortage of information.

Allostatic load, predictive processing, and variable executive function all play into why it's hard to get something new to repeat day to day. I get into why a regulated state can feel wrong to a nervous system used to dysregulation, why conventional advice like "just do it every day" doesn't work for many of us, and how attaching a new practice to something your body already does can potentially make a difference for certain things. I also cover external scaffolding, body doubling, co-regulation, and the social baseline research behind why a safer person in the room changes how the nervous system regulates.

CHAPTERS:

CHAPTERS:

0:00 Why understanding your nervous system isn't enough

0:23 How naming the experience lowers self-blame

1:56 Allostatic load and the depleted resource pool

3:51 Why feeling regulated can register as wrong

5:20 Executive function as an unreliable daily resource

6:45 What helps, and why a few minutes daily beats one hour a week

8:00 The resilient zone

9:46 The water canteen experiment

12:14 Attaching practices to routines you already have

14:10 External scaffolding and relational support

17:31 Building this into your own life and where coaching fits

RESOURCES & LINKS:

• More on what I found in polyvagal theory: https://jendehaan.com/blog/is-polyvagal-theory-debunked-2026/
• Neurodivergent coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/coaching
• Group Programs: https://jendehaan.com/offscript/ (introductory program coming soon, check site for other options in future)
• Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com
• Podcast version and regulation practice episodes: https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent
• Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters

About Audio and Video

This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.

NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:

• AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/
• Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/
• Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters
• Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan
• Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com

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About

This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.

This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.

I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.

DISCLAIMER:

Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.

Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources

Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy