Episode 9 - How to Deal with a Bad Referral

In this episode of the BNI UK Podcast, Ed Nell speaks with UK National Director Mike Holman about a challenge every BNI member will face at some point - receiving a bad referral. They explore what actually defines a “bad” referral and, more importantly, how to respond in a way that strengthens relationships rather than damages them.

Mike shares a refreshing perspective that shifts the focus away from blame and towards accountability, communication, and education. The episode is packed with practical advice on improving referral quality, refining your messaging, and turning frustrating situations into long-term opportunities for growth.

Key Takeaways

Take responsibility, don’t assign blame:

If you receive a bad referral, start by looking at how you may have miscommunicated what you’re looking for rather than assuming poor intent.

Education is the key to better referrals:

Your network can only refer effectively if they clearly understand your ideal client - vague messaging leads to vague referrals.

Refine your 60-second and one-to-ones:

If multiple people are giving poor referrals, it’s likely a messaging issue. Be specific, clear, and consistent in how you communicate your needs.

Always respond with professionalism:

Thank the person, apologise, and have a constructive conversation - ideally face-to-face or over the phone, not via email.

Every referral is an opportunity to improve:

Even poor referrals can highlight gaps in your process, whether that’s communication, follow-up, or your sales approach.

Best Moments

“A bad referral is anything that you don’t want.”

“Say thank you for the referral… and apologise.”

“If you don’t deal with a bad referral, you deserve the next one.”

“You’re asking people to shop blind if you’re not specific.”

“Don’t be the person talking about others behind their back.”

About BNI

BNI is the world’s largest referral networking organisation. Local chapters meet weekly with a proven agenda based on Givers Gain®, helping members build credibility, share qualified referrals and grow revenue. With training, 1-2-1s and clear metrics, BNI turns business networking into predictable results for SMEs and professionals. Visit as a guest to experience the format.

Find Out More: https://bni.co.uk/en-GB/index

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