Can Conflict Actually Make Our Relationships Stronger? with Priya Parker

Does conflict really have the power to bring us closer together? In this episode of The Curiosity Shop, facilitator and author Priya Parker joins Brené Brown and Adam Grant to rethink how we approach conflict. Drawing from her new book, The Art of Fighting, Priya explores why avoiding conflict can create distance in our relationships, how “healthy heat” differs from destructive conflict, and why practicing disagreement when the stakes are low can prepare us for the conversations that matter most. Together, they unpack toxic politeness and why meaningful relationships require us to embrace discomfort instead of avoiding it. They also explore how preparation and collective humanity can be powerful tools to de-escalate conflict. The conversation leads Brené and Adam to reflect on their own history and how some of their hardest conversations have ultimately deepened their friendship. About Priya Parker | Her Story – Priya Parker, priyaparker.com (web page) The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters – Priya Parker, 2018, Riverhead Books (book) Brené with Priya Parker on The Art of Gathering – Brené Brown and Priya Parker, 2020, Unlocking Us (podcast episode) Brené with Priya Parker on How We Return and Why It Matters, Part 1 of 2 – Brené Brown and Priya Parker, 2021, Dare to Lead (podcast episode) Brené and Adam on What They Will Never Agree On – Brené Brown and Adam Grant, 2026, The Curiosity Shop (video/podcast episode, YouTube) Task versus relationship conflict, team performance, and team member satisfaction: A meta-analysis – Carsten K. W. De Dreu and Laurie R. Weingart, 2003, Journal of Applied Psychology (journal article) The Science of Productive Conflict – Adam Grant, 2021, WorkLife with Adam Grant (video episode, YouTube) Heat is relevance (and other things I've learned about healthy heat) – Priya Parker, 2026, Group Life (newsletter post, Substack) Group Life – Priya Parker, n.d., Substack (newsletter) Prentis Hemphill – Prentis Hemphill, n.d., prentishemphill.com (personal website) Clear Is Kind. Unclear Is Unkind. – Brené Brown, 2018, brenebrown.com (article) Working at Canlis – Canlis, n.d., canlis.com (careers page) Do I stay or do I go? – Priya Parker, 2026, Group Life (newsletter post, Substack) Why Avoiding Conflict Is Actually Hurting Your Relationships | Priya Parker on 'The Interview' – The New York Times, 2026, YouTube (video) Festivus: The Airing of Grievances – Seinfeld, “The Strike,” 1997, YouTube (video clip) The Rituals Of Reality TV Reunions: An In-Depth Examination – Gibson Johns, 2024, Betches (article) Resources – Conscious Leadership Group, conscious.is (resource library) Fairy Tales and Script Drama Analysis – Stephen B. Karpman, 1968, Transactional Analysis Bulletin (journal article) How to Use the Drama Triangle at Work – Conscious Leadership Group, n.d., conscious.is (blog post) Martin B. Copenhaver – The Christian Century, christiancentury.org (contributor page) The Rev. Martin B. Copenhaver: "Divided We Stand" – Martin B. Copenhaver, 2007, Washington National Cathedral (sermon) Open and Affirming – UCC Open and Affirming Coalition, openandaffirming.org (organisation page) Open and Affirming – United Church of Christ, n.d., ucc.org (denomination page) Robert's Rules of Order – Henry M. Robert, 1876, Project Gutenberg (book) Zohran Mamdani Campaign Rally, United Palace, Washington Heights – uploader not confirmed, 2025, YouTube (video, deep link at 7:41) The Persuaders: At the Front Lines of the Fight for Hearts, Minds, and Democracy – Anand Giridharadas, 2022, Knopf (book) Remembering Hal Saunders, Founder and Mentor – Sustained Dialogue Institute, 2016, sustaineddialogue.org (memorial notice) Man in the Mirror: Hope, Struggle, and Belonging in an American City – Anand Giridharadas, 2026, Knopf / Penguin Random House (book) The 12 New Books to Spice Up Your Fall – Adam Grant, 2026, Granted (newsletter post, Substack) The Story Rumble Process: A Guide for Groups and Teams – Brené Brown, 2018, brenebrown.com (downloadable resource) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices