388. Sexuality is How You Exist in the World - with Dr. Lexx

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Lexx about how to have honest conversations about sex with kids, why sexual shame still shapes adult relationships, and how to think more clearly about desire, consent, and pleasure. We dig into misinformation around sex education, sex as a form of power, and what healthy support can look like from educators, counselors, and therapists.

What We Cover

• Sex-positive parenting and how to talk to kids about bodies and boundaries
• Why sexuality education in the U.S. is more restricted than people think — and why "medically accurate" isn't a given
• The real difference between sex educators, sex counselors, and sex therapists
• How midlife, menopause, and shifting desire reshape relationships
• Practical ways to rebuild intimacy and connection when the spark fades

Key Frameworks

• Personal parts — Language that reduces shame and emphasizes ownership over the body.
• Unwanted touch / secret touch — Clearer safety language than "good touch, bad touch."
• Sexuality as a whole-life concept — Not just intercourse, but identity, embodiment, relationships, and power.
• Compersion — Feeling happy for a partner's pleasure or joy, even if it isn't personally relevant.
• Sensate focus — Purposeful nonsexual touch used to rebuild connection and learn what feels good.
• Consent first — The baseline for everything, including fantasy, touch, and negotiation.

About Dr. Lexx

Dr. Lexx (Lexx, The Sex Doc) is a sex therapist, educator, and speaker whose work centers healing, pleasure, and connection — with a particular focus on Black, Brown, and queer communities often left out of traditional therapy spaces. Learn more at lexxsexdoc.com.

https://lexxsexdoc.com/

Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it.

🎙️ You Are Not Broken is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you listen.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken. Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/pi

This episode is sponsored by Joi and Blokes.

If you’ve been wondering whether hormones could be playing a role in how you feel, Joi and Blokes can help you get answers. Start with comprehensive lab testing, then work with a licensed clinician to understand your results and discuss treatment options that may be right for you.

Visit JoiAndBlokes.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for 65% off labs and 20% off treatment.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.