The Science and the Art of Gurometry
Decoding the Gurus22 Juli 2023

The Science and the Art of Gurometry

The casual listener, who might possibly not be a loyal Patreon subscriber, or might hypothetically not listen devotedly to every Gurometer scoring episode, could conceivably be a little vague about what we mean by a secular guru(!). And therefore might be tempted to make an ill-considered and poorly-informed comment on Twitter or Reddit, thus exposing them to the devastating yet apropos riposte of a "You know nothing, Jon Snow" meme in reply.

Don't let it be you!

Here is a tutorial, a short illustrated primer if you will, on the Science and the Art of 'Gurometry'. No more will you have to live with the shame of not knowing how many syllables there are in anti-establishmentarianism. Never again will you be liable to fall prey to the siren song of pseudo-profound bullshit or fall foul of conspiracy mongers.

Listen to it. Study it. Meditate on it.

In no time at all you'll be spotting gurus in the wild, categorising, and classifying them at will. You'll feel like an ornithologist who's just been given a great big pair of binoculars, a spotter's guidebook, and a free afternoon to wander about a National park. Impress your friends, family, and potential sexual partners with your intimate and subtle understanding of What It Means to Be a Guru.

You're welcome.

Links


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Avsnitt(269)

Jensen Huang, Part 2: We Have to Hurt You to Save You

Jensen Huang, Part 2: We Have to Hurt You to Save You

Part Two of our Jensen Huang decoding gets to AI safety, where Jensen gives the labs some simple advice: if your products aren’t safe, don’t release them! There we go. Glad we got that sorted.Luckily ...

31 Okt 1h 18min

Jensen Huang, Part 1: AI Will Fix Everything (Probably)

Jensen Huang, Part 1: AI Will Fix Everything (Probably)

Jensen Huang is so hot right now; not only did he make some statements that were widely derided, but he also featured in a glitzy "collab" episode with our favourite lone wolf, Lex Fridman. Sensing gu...

28 Okt 2h 2min

Supplementary Material 57: p(doom) Updates, Nazi Apologist Imbeciles, and JAQs about False Flag Conspiracies

Supplementary Material 57: p(doom) Updates, Nazi Apologist Imbeciles, and JAQs about False Flag Conspiracies

Matt updates his p(doom), Tucker Carlson does his best impression of Wormtongue, and the political horseshoe unites over Flydubai JAQs. Sometimes our future AI overlords do not look so bad.The full ep...

14 Okt 39min

Supplementary Material 56: 10% for AI Doom, Bespoke Debates, and Eurotrash DJs

Supplementary Material 56: 10% for AI Doom, Bespoke Debates, and Eurotrash DJs

Chris and Matt grapple with Face Huggers, ponder the mysteries of algebra, and have a heated exchange over the term "bespoke".*Sorry about some of Chris' audio: the microphone settings will be fixed n...

4 Okt 26min

Candace Owens, Part 2: The Woman Who Noticed Everything

Candace Owens, Part 2: The Woman Who Noticed Everything

Part Two of our Candace Owens decoding offers a generous case study in conspiratorial thinking. The necklace in the footage of Charlie Kirk’s murder may have moved before his jacket, a photograph of T...

26 Sep 2h 27min

Candace Owens, Part 1: Charlie Kirk and the Cosmic Conspiracy

Candace Owens, Part 1: Charlie Kirk and the Cosmic Conspiracy

Candace Owens is just a Catholic, a mother, and a wife. She loves her husband, works hard, and tries not to let internet drama disturb her spiritual peace. She also has just a few questions about the ...

21 Sep 1h 42min

Gurometer Triple Threat: Professor Jiang, Mel Robbins & Jimmy Carr *Patreon Preview*

Gurometer Triple Threat: Professor Jiang, Mel Robbins & Jimmy Carr *Patreon Preview*

The rumours of the Gurometer's demise have been greatly exaggerated. We were simply collecting enough gurus to feed three into the sacred instrument at once. In this special Triple Threat edition, Pro...

14 Sep 59min

Supplementary Material 55: Nature Debates, Murder Drone Conspiracies, and Podcast Vibes

Supplementary Material 55: Nature Debates, Murder Drone Conspiracies, and Podcast Vibes

Two academic windbags attempt brief discussions of the controversy at Nature, Bret’s newest conspiracy theory, and the latest vibe sessions in Podcastistan. It goes about as well as expected.The full ...

8 Sep 34min

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