How To Stop Resentment From Killing Your Sex Life

Not in the mood? It might not be your libido. You might just be really, really annoyed.

Jay-Jay Feeney and sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes get into the sneaky way resentment shuts down desire. It's not always the big stuff. It's the bins, the groceries, the school notices, and always being the one who "just does it". All those little crumbs get swept under the rug until you're tripping over it, and your body goes absolutely not the second your partner reaches for you.

We chat about:

• Why so many of us mistake resentment for a low sex drive
• How love languages can make or break intimacy (plus Jay-Jay's hand-kissing drama)
• The mental load, sharing chores, and why nobody wants to mother their lover
• In-laws, infidelity, and holding onto hurt for years
• The slightly confronting question Mel gets her clients to ask: "How have I enabled this?"
• What to actually say when you're ready to talk about it
• Angry sex, duty sex (we don't do duty sex on this podcast... mostly), and why sex can't fix the problem on its own
• Rebuilding non-sexual touch, finding yourself again, and bringing the fun back

Spoiler: it's repair before seduction. Every time.

This episode is brought to you by Datebox: fun, playful date nights delivered to your door, no babysitter or planning needed. Use code HTHS at datebox.nz for 10% off (it stacks with their other offers too).

How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.

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How to Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland - https://www.podlab.co.nz

HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney

Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes

Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school

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