The Art and Science of the World’s Gooiest Cliche | Barbara Fredrickson

The Art and Science of the World’s Gooiest Cliche | Barbara Fredrickson

One of our primary missions on this show is to rescue vital ideas that have lapsed into cliches. There are so many important concepts out there that many of us might be tempted to dismiss because they are encrusted with cultural baggage or have been reduced to potentially annoying or sappy slogans. So, for example, we’ve talked a lot on this podcast about things like: hope, gratitude, and “listening to your body.” All of which can sound like the type of empty bromide that your spin instructor yells at you while encouraging you to pedal faster. But, in fact, these are all incredibly important operating principles for a healthy life. And, not for nothing, they are all backed up by hard science. So today we’re going to tackle what may be the oldest and gooieset cliche of them all: love. The word has been ruined, in many ways, by Hollywood and pop songs. For many of us, the mere mention of the word conjures images of Tom Cruise, with tears in his eyes, while the string music swells, declaring, “You complete me.” But in my view, and in the view of my guest today, love needs to be usefully defined down. In other words, we need to knock love off its plinth, and apply it to a much wider range of human interactions. We also need to think of love not as something magical that requires luck or money or looks, but instead as a trainable skill -- one with profound implications for our health. Barbara Fredrickson is the Kenan Distinguished Professor in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She has written two books: one is called Positivity, the other is called Love 2.0. In this interview, we talk about how she defines love, based on her research; how meditation can help build this skill; how taking a few extra minutes to chat with people, even if you feel busy, can have psychological, physiological, and even professional benefits; and how to manage social anxiety as we emerge from our Covid cocoons. This episode is actually part one of a two-part series running this week on social connection. Coming up on Wednesday, we’ll hear from Marissa King, a professor at Yale who studies how to create social networks, even when it feels uncomfortable. And by social network, I don't mean something like Facebook. I mean actual networks of actual human beings that you see in person. She’s got a lot of practical and actionable advice about how to do that, even within the context of Covid. So be sure to listen in on Wednesday. One more item of business, and it is an invitation for you to participate in this show. In June, we’ll be launching a special series of podcast episodes focusing on anxiety, something I’m sure we’re all too familiar with. In this series, you’ll become intimately familiar with the mechanics of anxiety: how and why it shows up, and what you may be doing to feed it. And this is where you come in. We’d love to hear from you with your questions about anxiety that experts will answer during our anxiety series on the podcast. So whether you’re struggling with social anxiety, anxiety about re-entering the world post-Covid, or have any other questions about anxiety - we want to hear from you. To submit a question or share a reflection call (646) 883-8326 and leave us a voicemail with your name and phone number. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, May 12th. And if you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, download it for free wherever you get your apps or by clicking here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/barbara-fredrickson-341

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A Rarely Accessed Source of Joy | Roman Mars

A Rarely Accessed Source of Joy | Roman Mars

Today’s episode is about finding joy, pleasure, interest, and even gratitude in a surprising source: everyday objects and infrastructure.  Our guest Roman Mars is the host and creator of 99% Invisible, a radio show and podcast about design and architecture. It is one of the most popular podcasts in the world. Roman is also a bestselling author; he recently co-authored The 99% Invisible City: A Field Guide to the Hidden World of Everyday Design. Roman talks to us about how he got interested in design, how the name “99% Invisible” came to be, his new book about the under-observed aspects of the built world, the importance of reading plaques and utility markers, design as coercion, and a shared love of 90s punk rock. Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Show notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/roman-mars-368

2 Aug 202149min

The Price of Secrecy | Michael Slepian

The Price of Secrecy | Michael Slepian

This episode is all about secrets.  Did you know that there are 38 categories of secrets—and statistically, according to Michael Slepian, you probably have about 13 of them right now? Slepian is the Sanford C. Bernstein & Co. Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia Business School. He studies the psychology of secrets — and how keeping secrets affects our social life and work life, particularly as it pertains to trust and motivation. In this conversation we dive into common misunderstandings about secrets, the hardest part about having secrets, the toll secrets take (both physically and psychologically), how other people can help us handle our secrets in a healthier way, and the impact of societal systems and structures on our secret keeping. (One thing to note: There are brief references to abuse and other traumatic events that some people keep secret.) If you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, download it for free wherever you get your apps: https://10percenthappier.app.link/download-app. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/michael-slepian-367

28 Juli 202146min

How to Outsmart Your Pain | Christiane Wolf

How to Outsmart Your Pain | Christiane Wolf

Sit in meditation for a few minutes and you’re likely to experience pain, either physical or psychological. Hang around the meditation scene for very long, and you are likely to hear the expression, “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.”  And that’s what this episode is all about -- boosting your pain tolerance through meditation. Because pain really is inevitable, but can you reduce your suffering through mindfulness and compassion?  Christiane Wolf argues ‘yes’. She is a physician turned mindfulness and compassion teacher and teacher trainer. She is an authorized Buddhist teacher in the Insight (Vipassana) meditation tradition, teaching classes and retreats worldwide, and she’s also the author of the new book “Outsmart Your Pain”. In this conversation, we talk about meditation techniques that offer us a better relationship to pain, how to work with the physicality of pain, the stories we tell ourselves about our pain, and seeing pain as an opportunity. Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/christiane-wolf-366

26 Juli 202154min

The Art and Science of Compassion | Thupten Jinpa

The Art and Science of Compassion | Thupten Jinpa

It can be incredibly frustrating when life-changing, world-changing concepts such as compassion and kindness are often presented as cliches, because scientific research strongly suggests that learning how to practice compassion -- through meditation and other modalities -- can genuinely change your life. And enough of us did it, it could maybe change the world.  One of the people who is the best at getting this message out, in new and creative ways, is Thupten Jinpa. He is a former Tibetan monk who went on to go to Cambridge University, where he got a B.A. in philosophy and a Ph.D. in religious studies. Since 1985, he has been the principal English translator for His Holiness the Dalai Lama.  In this conversation, we talk about developing a compassionate meditation practice, building kindness and empathy, the connection between intention setting and compassion, and identifying and regulating negative emotional reactions.  A few technical notes: This episode is a rerun. We do reruns when we have episodes that are amazing that we think our newer listeners might enjoy. We also do them to give our staff a break once in a while. We actually recorded this conversation live in front of an audience at the Asia Society in New York City a few years ago. It was the day after the school shooting in Parkland, so you will hear a few references to that.  Check out Joseph Goldstein's course on compassion in the Ten Percent Happier app: https://10percenthappier.app.link/CompassionWithJoseph Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/thupten-jinpa-repost

21 Juli 20211h 12min

The Voice in Your Head | Ethan Kross

The Voice in Your Head | Ethan Kross

The craving, complaining, and comparing voice in our heads can be the source of incalculable suffering, but is it all bad? And are there ways to talk to yourself that can turn your inner voice into a powerful ally?  Ethan Kross is a Professor in the University of Michigan’s top ranked Psychology Department and its Ross School of Business and the author of the new book, Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why it Matters, and How to Harness It.  In this conversation, we talk about why we have voices inside our head, how they can be either a blessing or a curse, how to access your inner coach rather than your inner critic, how changing our outer environment can impact your inner environment, and how you can use the much-maligned social media for support. Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ethan-kross-365

19 Juli 20211h 6min

Getting Over Yourself | Joseph Goldstein

Getting Over Yourself | Joseph Goldstein

For the uninitiated, Joseph Goldstein is one of the cofounders of the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) alongside Sharon Salzberg and Jack Kornfield. Since its founding, thousands of people from around the world have come to IMS to learn mindfulness from leaders in the field.  In this episode Joseph covers strategies for getting over yourself. Every year, Joseph does a three-month retreat by himself at his home in Massachusetts. This year, he emerged with a bunch of thoughts on what’s called “the three proliferating tendencies,” or three “prapancas,” to use the ancient Pali term.  These are three ways in which we perpetuate a sense of self -- not a healthy sense of self, but an unhealthy sense of self. You can think about the process of going deeper in meditation as a process of lightening up or getting less self-centered. Now, you’re about to get a master class in doing just that.  Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/joseph-goldstein-364

14 Juli 20211h 14min

How to Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo

How to Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo

Today’s episode is about a Buddhist tool for resolving conflict and keeping your relationships healthy. Today’s guest, Kaira Jewel Lingo, was an ordained nun of 15 years in Thich Nhat Hanh’s Order of Interbeing, and is now a lay Dharma teacher based on Long Island. She graduated from Stanford University with a B.A. and M.A. in Anthropology and Social Sciences. She’s edited a few books by Thich Nhat Hanh, including Planting Seeds: Practicing Mindfulness with Children. In this interview, Kaira Jewel talks about: the Beginning Anew practice (and how even skeptics can see the value in it); how Beginning Anew can strengthen relationships and resolve conflicts; the four steps of the practice; and her own experience with the practice, as both a teacher of it and a practitioner of it. If Kaira Jewel's insights on gratitude within the practice intrigue or inspire you, you might like a fantastic meditation we released recently on the Ten Percent Happier app called "Daily Gratitude Booster" by Matthew Hepburn. It's the perfect way to cultivate a regular practice of gratitude, which, like meditation itself, is a skill that you can improve. Check it out by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps (https://10percenthappier.app.link/install) or click the link in our show notes to be taken directly to Matthew's meditation: https://10percenthappier.app.link/DailyGratitudeBooster. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kaira-jewel-lingo-363

12 Juli 202142min

The Science of Happiness | Emiliana Simon-Thomas (2020)

The Science of Happiness | Emiliana Simon-Thomas (2020)

In a previous interview with Dan, the Dalai Lama said something along the lines of, “everyone’s selfish; that’s the way we’re wired. But if you’re going to be selfish, you should be wisely selfish.” Wise selfishness takes into account the fact that what really makes humans happy is to care for other people. This notion has been a central part of the Buddhist platform for millennia, but is now being borne out in scientific research.  Today’s guest is Emiliana Simon-Thomas. She is the science director of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, where she is a co-instructor of its Science of Happiness online course. In this conversation, Emiliana talks to us about the difference between empathy and compassion, how we can be happier by being more compassionate and connected, what we misunderstand about love, and a more scientific definition for that culturally loaded term. Just to note -- this is a re-run of an older episode we pulled out of our vault for a few reasons:  1) It’s summer and we want to give our tireless staff a break; and 2) This is one of our all-time favorite episodes and one that many of our newer listeners may not have heard.  For more science-based happiness practices, you can download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/emiliana-simon-thomas-repost

7 Juli 202155min

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