804: How to Repair a Stakeholder Relationship, with Caroline Webb

Caroline Webb: Leadership Intelligence

Caroline Webb is a leadership coach, economist, and author of How to Have a Good Day, which has been published in over sixty countries. She has been named one of the top 50 executive coaches in the world by Thinkers50 and is Senior Advisor on leadership to McKinsey & Company, where she was previously a Partner. She is the author of Leadership Intelligence: Science-Backed Strategies for Mastering 21 Everyday Management Challenges (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

Leaders are often called on to repair relationships for the benefit of everybody. When that relationship is a key stakeholder, it’s especially important to approach that process intentionally. In this conversation, Caroline and I detail the most important steps to help that repair go better.

Key Points

• Many of us have power, even if it doesn’t feel like it. People with power find it hard to imagine others seeing things differently.
• Perspective-taking helps us open up the doors of possibility to collaborate better, even when our assumptions are wrong.
• A suspension bridge is a powerful analogy for a stakeholder relationship. Both sides must be strong and connected intentionally for the relationship to work.
• The first tower of the suspension bridge is the other party. What could be going on for them that would make their behavior make sense, without assuming bad intent?
• The second tower is you. Label what you’re feeling and get as specific as possible with your emotions.
• Strengthen the connection with cables through appreciation, involvement, and elevation.

To meet in the middle (the deck), these five steps will help in an interaction:

1. Intention: share your goal for the relationship.
2. Observation: describe what you factually observed without assumption of judgement.
3. Implication: explain why you care and what’s concerning you.
4. Invitation: ask their side of the story without making assumptions.
5. Collaboration: mutually problem-solve how to improve the situation.

Resources Mentioned

• Leadership Intelligence: Science-Backed Strategies for Mastering 21 Everyday Management Challenges by Caroline Webb (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

• How to Involve Stakeholders in Decisions, with Eric Pliner (episode 586)
• The Way to Get Noticed by Key Stakeholders, with Daphne E. Jones (episode 614)
• How to Start Better With Peers, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 635)

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