180. Coach VJ on Confidence, Pressure & Mental Strength

What if feeling discouraged, uncomfortable, or afraid doesn't mean you're mentally weak—but that you're actually developing resilience? In this episode of the Especially for Athletes Podcast, Dustin Smith and Justin Miller sit down with Vera Jo Bustos (Coach VJ), a former professional basketball player, three-time college All-American, author, and founder of Mentality Solutions. Coach VJ shares practical mental performance strategies to help athletes, parents, and coaches rethink resilience, manage pressure, and build lasting confidence. In this episode, you'll discover: Why resilience doesn't feel good when you're actually developing it. How to turn pregame nerves and butterflies into excitement. Why mental performance training is just as important as physical preparation. The difference between confidence built on validation and confidence built from within. Why the pressure of a playoff game shouldn't change the skills you've practiced. How mindset, self-talk, and courage help athletes perform under pressure. Why athletes sometimes need to stop listening to themselves and start talking to themselves. How parents can help young athletes develop independence by allowing them to face challenges. Why you should never tell yourself "no" before giving yourself an opportunity to succeed. Coach VJ also explains the difference between mental health and mental performance, shares lessons from studying Kobe Bryant, and challenges athletes to step outside what she calls their "dead zone." Whether you're an athlete preparing for a big game, a parent supporting a young competitor, or a coach helping your team develop mental strength, this conversation offers valuable insights you can put into practice. Learn more about Coach VJ: Mental Performance Coaching: https://www.mentalitysolutions.com Speaking and Events: https://www.coachvj.com #EspeciallyForAthletes #CoachVJ #MentalPerformance #MentalStrength #Resilience #SportsPsychology #AthleteMindset #Confidence #WinTheHour 00:32:17 - Meet Coach VJ: From Professional Athlete to Mental Performance Coach 00:36:05 - Why Resilience Doesn't Feel Good 00:38:55 - Escape Your Comfort Zone: Enter the Dead Zone 00:40:36 - Mental Performance vs. Mental Health 00:44:13 - The Body Buzz: Turning Butterflies into Excitement 00:50:13 - How to Handle Pressure in Big Games 00:52:18 - It's Not Just Another Game—But the Skills Are the Same 00:56:51 - Where Does Your Confidence Come From? 00:57:48 - Three Outer Sources of Confidence 01:01:49 - Training Your Body, Craft, and Mind 01:02:49 - Three Inner Sources of Confidence 01:05:17 - The Power of Self-Talk: Words of Power or Poison 01:06:17 - Why Courage Comes Before Confidence 01:07:30 - Make Somebody Else Tell You No 01:08:56 - How Comparison Steals Confidence 01:10:49 - Kobe Bryant and the Mental Game 01:15:25 - Do Male and Female Athletes Need Different Coaching? 01:16:57 - Why Parents Must Let Athletes Struggle 01:19:16 - Connect with Coach VJ #### Especially for Athletes: • Website: https://e4a.org • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EspeciallyForAthletes/ • X: https://x.com/E4Afamily • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/especiallyforathletes/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmbWc7diAvstLMfjBL-bMMQ Join the conversation using #E4APodcast #### Credits: Hosted by Dustin Smith & Shad Martin Produced by Shad Martin and IMAGINATE STUDIO