Sexual Consent & Abuse in Neurodiverse Relationship - Podcast

When a partner claims that autism means they "don't understand consent," where does neurodivergence end and abuse begin? Jodi Carlton and Mona Kay unpack the difference between autistic behavior and abusive behavior, why "no means no" applies regardless of neurotype, and how media scripts and porn can distort expectations around consent for black-and-white thinkers. They also discuss the yes/no/maybe checklist, masking in neurodiverse marriages, the fawning response, and when ignoring a partner's "no" crosses the line into narcissistic and exploitive behavior.

This episode discusses interpersonal violence (IPV), sexual abuse, and related topics. If you may be triggered by this conversation, please take care of yourself. Resources are listed below.

⏱️ Chapters 0:00 Teaser: No Means No, Regardless of Neurotype 1:33 Episode Intro 2:10 Content Warning & Listener Question 3:37 Abuse vs. Autistic Behavior 5:01 Abuse Is Not Autism 6:30 Any Neurotype Can Be Abusive 7:36 "Your Safety Is What Matters" 8:09 Any Adult Can Understand Consent 10:38 Porn, Scripts & Black-and-White Thinking 11:32 The Yes/No/Maybe Checklist 12:23 Media Messaging: "No Means Yes" & the Pursuit Myth 15:14 Masking & Saying Yes When You Could Say No 15:56 When "No" Is Ignored: That Is Abuse 16:17 Fawning, Codependency & Personal Accountability 18:21 Narcissistic & Sociopathic Behavior 19:58 Resources & "It's Never Just Leave" 21:00 Wrap Up & What's Next

Resources — Interpersonal Violence & Domestic Abuse If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, help is available. You are not alone, and it is not your fault.

United States National Domestic Violence Hotline 📞 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) 💬 Text "START" to 88788 🌐 https://www.thehotline.org Available 24/7 | Free & confidential | Live chat also available on the website

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN) 📞 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673) 🌐 https://www.rainn.org Online chat available 24/7

StrongHearts Native Helpline 📞 1-844-762-8483 A culturally-appropriate domestic violence and dating violence helpline for Native communities

Love is Respect (National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline) 📞 1-866-331-9474 💬 Text "LOVEIS" to 22522 🌐 https://www.loveisrespect.org

Deaf Hotline (via video phone) 📞 1-855-812-1001

International NO MORE Global Directory 🌐 https://www.nomoredirectory.org A comprehensive international directory of domestic and sexual violence helplines and support services, covering more than 200 countries. Created by the NO MORE Foundation in partnership with the United Nations.

HotPeachPages 🌐 https://www.hotpeachpages.net Abuse information in over 115 languages and domestic violence help agencies listed for every country worldwide.