EP: 26 Rik Foote - Love, Lust & the Compatibility Paradox: Dating Beyond the Swipe

What if everything we thought we knew about dating was backwards?

Swipe right. Feel a spark. Fall in love. Figure out if you're actually compatible somewhere between the third date and your first existential crisis together. Sound familiar?

This week on (un)seen, Erica and Laura Leigh sit down with Rik Foote, founder of HAEVN, a modern matchmaking platform challenging the way we find love, lust, and everything in between.

We're talking dating after 40, the difference between chemistry and compatibility, and why modern relationships don't always fit into neat little boxes. Monogamous? Polyamorous? Ethically non-monogamous? Monogamish? (Yes, it's a thing, and Laura Leigh has a new favorite word.)

Rik breaks down why dating apps are exhausting, how HAEVN flips the traditional swipe-first model on its head, and why knowing what you want might be the sexiest thing you bring to a relationship.

In this episode, we're getting into:

• Why attraction alone isn't enough to build a lasting relationship
• The compatibility paradox: chemistry vs. shared intentions
• Dating after divorce, in your 40s, and beyond
• ENM, polyamory, open relationships, and the beauty of being monogamish
• Why queer relationships are challenging traditional relationship rules
• How HAEVN is making dating more intentional, inclusive, and a whole lot less exhausting

Whether you're happily married, newly single, exploring nontraditional relationships, or just here for the tea, this conversation might make you rethink what a successful relationship actually looks like.

Because maybe the secret to finding your person isn't finding someone who checks all your boxes. Maybe it's finding someone who wants the same damn boxes.

Learn more about HAEVN: https://haevn.co

Follow us on Instagram: @unseen_pod

(un)seen: queer millennial life, unfiltered. Real conversations about relationships, identity, sex, aging, and all the messy, beautiful shit nobody prepared us for.

🎧 Like what you hear? Follow, rate, and share this episode with someone who's officially over the dating-app circus.