Beyond chores: How to teach kids to notice what needs to be done and share the mental load with Sam Kelly

Sam Kelly, author of Notice and Do, and I talk about why simply assigning chores may not be enough. While chores can teach responsibility, they often overlook an important first step. Before kids can take initiative, they have to learn how to notice what needs their attention without waiting for us to point it out.

Together we explore:

• Why constantly reminding your child to clean up, put something away, or help out may unintentionally keep you carrying the mental load.

• The important difference between teaching kids to do chores and teaching them to notice what needs to be done.

• A surprisingly simple exercise you can try at home to start building this skill in just 10 to 15 minutes.

• Why something that feels completely obvious to you may require far more executive functioning than you realize for your child.

• How to scaffold these skills without nagging, micromanaging, or eventually giving up and doing it yourself.

• What to do when your child rolls their eyes, pushes back, or simply refuses to participate.

• How to adapt this approach for kids with ADHD, strong-willed kids, and children who need more support with executive functioning.

• Why teaching kids to carry some of the mental load isn't really about having a cleaner house, but about shaping the partners, friends, family members, and adults they eventually become.

If you're exhausted from constantly telling everyone what needs to be done, this conversation offers a different way to think about chores, responsibility, and what it actually takes to raise kids who see what needs doing and know how to step in.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 Sam Kelly

📚 Notice and Do: Raise Capable Kids, End Motherhood Burnout, and Lighten Your Mental Load

📱@samkelly_world

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:

🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren

🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families

📱IG: @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to find balance in the home, at work, and in parenthood with Chelsi Jo

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about balancing the load of parenthood with Lauren A. Tetenbaum

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with a deep dive on parental burnout