Mindfulness for beginners: Build your confidence by reducing mind wandering

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could stay attuned to the present moment? Wouldn’t it be great if you could feel confident in expressing your thoughts and feelings? Are self-confidence and mindfulness linked?

Many people find it challenging to staying present in conversations. Their mind wanders to their worries and can’t stay connected. Staying present is not something that comes naturally to us.

Staying in tune with the present is an ideal state of being and is not permanent. It comes and goes all the time. One determining factor about our absent mind is that it spends a lot of time in the future and the past. If you tend to feel low on confidence, your mind is wandering more than you think.
The more your mind wanders, the more you are prone to revisiting memories from your past that connect with a lack of confidence. The lack of confidence also reflects when your mind travels to the future. You could be thinking that history will repeat itself and worry excessively about the future event going wrong. One thing that can help you with confidence is to practice staying present during conversations with people.

Why should you want to be more present?

Have you ever been in conversation, and your mind starts wandering, and then you realized that you don’t have a clue about what the other person is talking about? We all have been there.

I remember how it feels to be in this uncomfortable situation. You feel awkward, and then you have to figure out if you pretend that you are following the conversation or face the problem and tell the person you were not listening. Also, this situation will not help with confidence around people. Wouldn’t it be better if you were able to stay present?

A simple way of building more confidence is to train your mind to stay present. Become a better mindful listener, and you will increase your confidence. Good listeners are more successful, better employees, better parents, and more supportive partners and spouses. When you improve your listening skills, you will become more trustworthy and get better at problem-solving.

Here are mindfulness practice for staying present in conversations:

1. Remove distractions: Ensure that electronics, reminders, and phone alerts are turned off if you can put your phone out of your reach.
2. Mindful posture: Face the person you re-talk to and align your body posture, so it’s comfortable and open. Do not cross your arms, legs, or slouch. Keep your spine erect, and chest open and shoulders relaxed. Look at the person and keep eye contact.
3. Mindful attention: Your mind will inevitably wander in any conversation. When you notice that this happens, take a pause and slow your breath. You can take three slow breaths and keep your attention on the person.
4. Less talking and more listening: Do not give your opinion unless you ask you for it. Do your best to listen and stay attentive to only giving feedback that indicates that you are paying attention to the other person. Be comfortable with pauses and quiet when the other person is talking. I like to nod my head and stay silent. There is nothing wrong with a little silence and pausing in conversations.

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