Break Your Old Patterns

Dan Harris, author of 10% Happier, joins Dr. Rick and Forrest for a wide-ranging, open, and personal conversation. They explore dealing with anxiety and fear, sustaining a mindfulness practice, and accepting our nature while leaning into a new version of ourselves. Along the way they talk about the benefits and drawbacks of purely secular approaches to mindfulness, Dan’s recent time with the Dalai Lama, and why an “anti-sentimentalist” like Dan is writing a book about love. About our Guest: Dan Harris is the author of the best-selling memoir 10% Happier, about a fidgety, skeptical news anchor who finds meditation. He’s also the host of the Ten Percent Happier podcast and the cofounder of the Ten Percent Happier meditation app. For 21 years, he worked at ABC News, where he anchored such shows as Nightline and the weekend editions of Good Morning America. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics:  ​​0:00: Introduction 1:05: Dan’s history with panic attacks, and using exposure therapy  6:15: Pros and cons of mindfulness in a secular frame 9:15: Moving away from a purely secular frame 12:10: Dan’s current meditation practice 16:15: Sustaining practice, and the pros and cons of stubbornness 20:15: Passion and purpose without attachment 27:50: Dan’s takeaways from the Dalai Lama 30:45: Caring, sharing, and marking your virtuous moments 33:30: An ‘anti-sentimental’ look at love 44:50: Recognizing personal change 47:55: If you can’t be cheesy, you can’t be free 51:40: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Juli 202358min

Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. They explore how we can thoughtfully take the input of other people, identify and meet our needs, deal with anxiety and the fear of failure, and approach a conversation about drug use with teenagers. You’ll also learn strategies for reducing nighttime sleep anxiety, creating healthy boundaries, dealing with temperamental differences in a relationship, and finding peace and connection as a single person. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: How do process feedback from other people? What helps you accept what's useful...and leave the rest? 11:35: My extended family has gotten very distant. How do families tend to change over time?  23:40: I always feel like I'm about to be punished. What can I do? 33:15: How can we help teens navigate curiosity and peer pressure related to drugs, including psychedelics? 44:15: LIGHTNING ROUND! 45:15: Dealing with anxious thoughts before bedtime. 48:00: Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. 51:10: My partner has ADHD. How can I encourage them to work on some problematic behaviors while respecting their nature? 56:40: Being at peace with being on our own. 1:00:40: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: InsideTracker gives you the personalized information you need to optimize your healthspan. Get 20% off by going to my special link: InsideTracker.com/beingwell. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Juli 20231h 6min

There is a lot of complicated advice out there (including on this podcast) for how to improve our well-being. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick simplify the lessons they’ve learned from over 100 experts and 300 episodes. They explore the importance of individual context, focusing on what we can change even among difficult circumstances, the power of acceptance, influencing our attention, taking care of the body, social connection, and how we can identify, accept, and manage our unique needs.  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.   Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction, and a disclaimer about generalizations 5:50: The belief that things can get better 14:20: How acceptance supports agency 24:55: Being thoughtful about what we consume, and where we place our attention 30:30: Bodily awareness and taking care of the body 36:50: Developing and appreciating strong social connections 41:50: Identifying our wants and needs 44:50: Identifying key values, setting goals, and letting those goals shape our lives 54:30: Recap   Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Go to healthycell.com/beingwell and use promo code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first order.  Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Juli 20231h 6min

In today’s episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on one of the most common, and most important, questions they get about attachment theory: can we heal our attachment wounds, and become more securely attached?  They explore the basics of attachment theory, whether people can change their attachment style, and how much change is truly possible. They then discuss some common frameworks for change, the power of positive experiences, and how we can break out of the “catch-22” of attachment wounds. The episode ends with practical advice for what an anxiously or avoidantly attached person could do to become more securely attached over time.  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:55: An overview of how attachment develops 7:40: Four components involved in changing your attachment style 10:50: The difference between our tendencies and our behavior 12:40: The four stages of growth, and developing “conscious competency” 17:35: Recognizing the ways you’re included, seen, appreciated, liked, and loved 25:00: The role of individual effort, and the real driver of motivation 29:10: What helps anxious people become more securely attached 41:35: And what helps avoidant people 49:55: How to ground ourselves when people are unreliable 55:25: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: InsideTracker gives you the personalized information you need to optimize your healthspan. Get 20% off by going to my special link: InsideTracker.com/beingwell. Go to healthycell.com/beingwell and use promo code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first order.  Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Juli 20231h 2min

The average human will live for roughly 4000 weeks. Foregrounding this can be a source of stress, leading us to constantly run from one task to another. Or, it can be a source of meaning and purpose, nudging us to focus on what really matters. In this episode, Forrest is joined by bestselling author Oliver Burkeman for an exploration of what’s really at stake in what we call “time management”. You’ll learn why doing things faster only leaves you with more to do, the hidden payoffs of constant busyness, and how we can live a more fulfilling and enjoyable life by embracing its finite nature.  About our Guest: Oliver Burkeman is a bestselling author and journalist. His most recent book is Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, and prior to that wrote The Guardian column titled, “This Column Will Change Your Life.” He writes and publishes a twice monthly email newsletter called “The Imperfectionist.”  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 0:55: Oliver’s movement towards “anti-productivity” 2:55: Doing fewer things more purposefully 4:55: Looking at your own experience, and the paradoxical notion of perfect efficiency 10:15: The wheel of craving, secondary gains, and grappling with our mortality 15:30: Procrastination and freedom from an ideal result 20:15: The poignancy of limited choice 22:50: Existential crisis, insight, and fulfillment 30:20: Organizing your daily schedule around your top priority 35:55: Frameworks for working within someone else’s schedule 39:45: The allure of middling priorities 41:40: Identifying our wants and needs, and choices that enlarge and diminish us 45:50: Five questions to ask yourself from Oliver’s book 50:00: Suffering from trying to find a solution, and life not being a ‘prologue’ 57:35: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Go to healthycell.com/beingwell and use promo code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first order.  Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

26 Juni 20231h 8min

We've all experienced that frustrating feeling of knowing that we should be doing something, and yet struggling to take action. Join Forrest and Dr. Rick as they explore how we can overcome avoidance and procrastination, unlock our motivation, and cultivate a "pursuit mindset."  They discuss intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, why extrinsic motivations aren’t such a bad thing, and how we can use our important values to set better goals and shape our behavior. You’ll learn why procrastination is based on fear, how to orient toward pursuit and see yourself as an agent of change, and the key role “getting good at liking” plays in this process. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:05: Intrinsic vs. external motivation 10:00: Identifying your intrinsic or “noncontingent” motivations 15:00: Self-determination theory (SDT) 19:35: Pursuit and prey orientation 28:25: The psychological function of procrastination 35:35: Learning what you like, and focusing on it 42:25: Meaning, purpose, pleasure, and satisfaction 46:20: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Juni 202354min

Rick and Forrest are joined by award-winning journalist Michael Krasny for an episode focused on how to stay curious, navigate times of transition, and relate to the modern media landscape in healthy ways. They use Michael’s recent experience with “retirement” as a jumping off point to explore how we can embrace change and stay curious before diving into a conversation focused on the modern media landscape. Topics include bothsides-ism, navigating challenging conversations, and finding the balance between what “knowing mind” and “don’t know mind.” About our Guest: Michael Krasny is the long-time host of the KQED Forum, and has interviewed some of the most prominent figures of the past 50 years, including Maya Angelou, Caesar Chavez, President Jimmy Carter, Carl Sagan, and President Barack Obama. Since retiring from the Forum, Michael has started his own podcast: Grey Matter with Michael Krasny.  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:45: What’s helped Michael navigate the transition to a new phase of life 3:45: Michael’s shift in identity post-KQED Forum 5:45: Curiosity and ‘usefulness’ 8:10: Preparing for interviews 11:10: How Michael became an interviewer 14:10: Shakespeare characters, the anxiety of influence, and corporal punishment 23:10: How the function of media has changed over time 26:05: Bothsidesism and offering balanced viewpoints 30:40: ‘Always don’t know’, and not being captured by our strengths 33:45: Overpreparation, anxiety, and the role of an interviewer 38:20: The value of spacious conversation vs. discourse through sound bytes 40:30: Recap   Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/   Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

12 Juni 202346min

If you’re tired of feeling stuck, this one’s for you. Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can overcome learned helplessness and change our lives by developing self-efficacy: the ability to influence our environments and control our motivation and behavior. Key topics include why we get stuck, the science of learned helplessness, focusing on effort over talent, creating a growth mindset, and balancing acceptance and agency. You’ll learn how to improve self-efficacy, embrace who you are, and become truly confident in your ability to grow.  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: Why are we prone to feeling stuck? 4:45: Fear of failure and negativity bias 8:30: Learned helplessness and the dog study 18:05: Difficulties identifying patterns we’re close to 20:00: The biological function of shame 22:55 The connection between our emotions, our body, and our sense of self-efficacy 24:10: Chronic illness and pain, and recognizing what is and is not in your control 26:10: What is a growth mindset? 28:40: Nature and nurture, talent and effort, and our metrics of self-worth 35:00: Rick’s practical tips for improving self-efficacy (complete with soundtrack) 40:20: Creating a coherent self-narrative 42:35: An example from Forrest of claiming agency 46:20: Advice for someone in their late 20s when feeling stuck 51:40: Building on and reinforcing our successes 56:35: Determination 59:35: Recap   Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/   Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Juni 20231h 6min