The Grieving Brain with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

The Grieving Brain with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

There’s a lot of loss in the world these days, both in our individual lives and in our broader communities, and with those losses comes grief. Grief is one of the most challenging emotions to be with, and it can be difficult to offer generalized advice because everyone's experience of grief is profoundly unique. On today’s episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by one of the world’s leading researchers on grief, Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor, to help us better understand grief and grieving. They explore why grief is such a unique and intense emotion, how grief works in the brain, the problems with generalized models like the “five stages of grief,” and how we can learn to live with loss. About Our Guest: Mary-Frances is a neuroscientist, clinical psychologist, and associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. She’s also the author of the wonderful book The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and disclaimer 3:35: Mary-Frances’ personal background 6:55: Distinguishing grief from grieving 9:20: Self-criticism, and the over-focus on recovery 11:20: Grief isn't "something to get over" 13:00: Attachment, and our neurological map 16:00: Prediction error 19:30: Complicated grief 25:00: Spiritual practice, or having a worldview that incorporates death 28:05: Is there a ‘normal’ grieving process? 35:25: Pathology, and normal human experiences 46:00: Neurological overview of grief in the brain 50:40: The Dual Process Model of Grief 54:10: Sometimes distraction is okay 56:15: Therapeutic practices and learning from grief 1:01:00: Grief and its relationship to love 1:03:40: Recap New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price. Sponsors: Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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People Pleasing vs. Fawning: Why We Do It and How to Change

People Pleasing vs. Fawning: Why We Do It and How to Change

Dr. Rick and Forrest talk about what separates people-pleasing from the fawn response, and why those differences affect what actually helps. They trace the surprising history behind both ideas, explai...

7 Sep 1h 12min

Depleted Mother Syndrome: Why Moms Burn Out, and How to Recover with Jan Hanson

Depleted Mother Syndrome: Why Moms Burn Out, and How to Recover with Jan Hanson

Forrest is joined by his parents, psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and nutritionist Jan Hanson, to discuss "Depleted Mother Syndrome:” the exhaustion, brain fog, and low mood so many mothers experience. T...

31 Aug 1h 17min

How to Feel Your Feelings with Simone Saunders

How to Feel Your Feelings with Simone Saunders

We’ve all been told to “feel our feelings,” but what does that actually mean, and how do you do it? Forrest talks with trauma therapist Simone Saunders about how to go from knowing your patterns to be...

24 Aug 1h 25min

The Psychology of Manipulation: How to Become Manipulation Resistant

The Psychology of Manipulation: How to Become Manipulation Resistant

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to become more resistant to manipulation, discussing terms like gaslighting, DARVO, and love bombing. They talk about why cynicism doesn’t make you immune to manipulat...

17 Aug 1h 10min

What’s The Problem With Therapy Speak? August Mailbag

What’s The Problem With Therapy Speak? August Mailbag

Terms like boundaries, gaslighting, triggers, trauma, and attachment are everywhere now. Dr. Rick and Forrest answer a listener question about the consequences - good and bad - of clinical language es...

10 Aug 1h 1min

Burnout: A Practical Guide for Normal People

Burnout: A Practical Guide for Normal People

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore burnout: what it is, why it’s so common, and what people can do about it. They begin by framing burnout as largely a structural problem that individuals are forced to mana...

3 Aug 1h 15min

The Grieving Body: How to Heal After Loss with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

The Grieving Body: How to Heal After Loss with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

We all understand the emotional impact of grief, but its effects on the body are often overlooked. Forrest is joined by clinical psychologist and researcher Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor to explore the ph...

27 Juli 1h 28min

Healing from Parentification: When the “Gifted Child” Grows Up

Healing from Parentification: When the “Gifted Child” Grows Up

Some kids learn early on that the way to be loved is to be useful. They take on the emotional or practical care of their parents in a process known as parentification, and today Dr. Rick and Forrest e...

20 Juli 1h 15min

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