Compare the life of a covert narcissist with the life of their victim

Compare the life of a covert narcissist with the life of their victim

Are you trying to decide if all you are going through is "normal," or if it is fair and reasonable?

In the last two episodes, I have talked about the codependency traits that so many victims have in common and the eternal victim role that covert narcissists play. These two things get trapped together so incredibly often.

On one side, you have a person who does no self-reflection, no self-improvement, and no internal work. Instead they express out all the ways they have been hurt in life. The abuse they suffered as a child. The mistreatment from parents, siblings, friends. The abuse they suffered from previous relationships, leaving them “broken” and insecure. The ways that everything you say hurts them, reminds them of their past abuse, resurfaces their hurt self. The eternal victim!

On the other side, you have a person who desires to care for others. To build other people up. To help others become the best they can be. To “fix” them. To save them. Willing to do the extra work. Willing to give the benefit of the doubt. To carry extra blame so the other person doesn’t have to. To carry your own load and half of theirs too. To look at your own smallest faults and blame these over the massive faults the other person displays. To hold yourself accountable for everything, while letting them off the hook for anything.

This is NOT a good combination! Works out great for the covert narcissist, who does none of the work and does anything they want all the time. It is horrible for their partner, who does all the work and never does anything they themselves want.

--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/covertnarcissism/support

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

  • Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
  • Are you searching for people who get it?
  • Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
  • Are you running in circles in your mind?
  • Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
  • Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Avsnitt(440)

The Physical Signs You Didn’t Know Were Trauma Responses, Part 1: How Covert Narcissism Shows Up in Your Body

The Physical Signs You Didn’t Know Were Trauma Responses, Part 1: How Covert Narcissism Shows Up in Your Body

When you live in the backwards, upside-down world of covert narcissistic abuse, your body often understands the danger long before your mind can name it. The symptoms you thought were “random,” “weird...

7 Dec 202521min

How to Talk to Your Adult Children About a Covert Narcissistic Parent Without Badmouthing

How to Talk to Your Adult Children About a Covert Narcissistic Parent Without Badmouthing

Talking to your adult children about a covert narcissistic parent is one of the hardest and most emotionally loaded challenges survivors face. You’re carrying years of truth inside you — experiences t...

4 Dec 202527min

Fawning Is Not Codependency: Understanding the Difference When You’ve Lived With a Covert Narcissist

Fawning Is Not Codependency: Understanding the Difference When You’ve Lived With a Covert Narcissist

So many survivors walk into healing believing they were “codependent,” when the truth is far more compassionate and far more accurate:What you were doing wasn’t codependency — it was fawning, a trauma...

30 Nov 202521min

Thanksgiving Special: Healing from Covert Narcissistic Abuse Through Self-Gratitude

Thanksgiving Special: Healing from Covert Narcissistic Abuse Through Self-Gratitude

This Thanksgiving episode is unlike any you’ve heard before.Instead of forcing gratitude outward—toward family, toward traditions, toward circumstances that may feel complicated or painful—this episod...

27 Nov 202516min

How Unsafe People Erase Your Reality And Safe People Restore It

How Unsafe People Erase Your Reality And Safe People Restore It

In Part 2 of this story, we pick up right where the alligator encounter left off — not with danger, but with the emotional aftershock that followed. My body was still shaking, adrenaline pumping, brea...

23 Nov 202519min

When Every Conversation Turns into Confusion: The Communication Breakdown of Covert Narcissism

When Every Conversation Turns into Confusion: The Communication Breakdown of Covert Narcissism

In a healthy relationship, conversations might be difficult at times—but they are possible. You can talk, clarify, repair, and understand each other. But when you’re living with a covert narcissist, c...

20 Nov 202519min

I Kayaked Over an Alligator And Finally Understood My Trauma Response

I Kayaked Over an Alligator And Finally Understood My Trauma Response

In this episode, I’m taking you with me on a peaceful Florida river… right up to the moment my kayak bumped over what I thought was a floating log. Except it wasn’t a log. It was a massive mama alliga...

16 Nov 202522min

Not All Covert Narcissists Look the Same

Not All Covert Narcissists Look the Same

Covert narcissism isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some manipulate through silence, others through guilt or tears. Some quote scripture, some play the victim, and some simply vanish into the quiet coldness th...

13 Nov 202514min

Populärt inom Utbildning

rss-bara-en-till-om-missbruk-medberoende-2
historiepodden-se
det-skaver
alska-oss
nu-blir-det-historia
harrisons-dramatiska-historia
not-fanny-anymore
johannes-hansen-podcast
rss-viktmedicinpodden
rss-foraldramotet-bring-lagercrantz
allt-du-velat-veta
roda-vita-rosen
sektledare
sa-in-i-sjalen
i-vantan-pa-katastrofen
rss-max-tant-med-max-villman
rss-psykoterapipodden
rikatillsammans-om-privatekonomi-rikedom-i-livet
rss-sjalsligt-avkladd
rss-om-vi-ska-vara-arliga