Accountability is Awesome

Accountability is Awesome

- The more accountability we take for our experience here – what happens to us, what we create, what we see as external or internal struggles – the more choices we have o This is about ownership o Ownership creates power and choice - This isn’t about what you’re not o Come from negative place o Not strong enough o Not smart enough o Not disciplined enough o That is all blame and fault finding o Blame and fault finding are shame based o - Here’s the real difficulty, sometimes we judge ourselves for the things that we are taking accountability for o Then we look to see how we can deflect that judgement o When we beat our self up that often leads to deflecting which doesn’t feel good o This goes wrong in the way that people/humans don’t like to be blamed or at fault so then we look to explain away the results in our life o She didn’t meet my needs o This just showed up on my screen o There was a link in my feed o That food wasn’t supposed to be in the pantry - You try to deflect judgment - In the process of deflecting judgement, you relinquish accountability. - Here is one of the secrets that I want you to take away from this, You can be accountable without judging. - There are two words that you can eliminate from your vocabulary to help you do this. - Should and Shouldn’t. - You’re a human, you’re going to make mistakes - Saying I should have done this or I shouldn’t have done that - I should be more - I shouldn’t be so bad - I shouldn’t have slipped up - Taking should and shouldn’t out of your vocabulary all together will help in this process of taking accountability without judgement. - You aren’t perfect, I’m not perfect, no one is. - Take accountability without taking blame. - Let’s talk about areas where we can take accountability - There are three areas - Some call it the cognitive triangle – - Brooke Castillo calls it the Model - – most of us just know it as the things we have control over in our lives - - Thoughts, feelings and actions - Elder Uchtdorf had a great Instagram post where he was writing on a sheet of paper just a quick reminder, it seems - I have control over my: Thoughts, Feelings, Actions. - So, 3 questions: Why not always take accountability for these three things? - How do I take back accountability for these three things? - And why will that help me have greater self mastery? - Let’s quick define Actions: o Every one of my clients comes to me with one of two problems o I’m doing but I can’t stop o I want to start doing but I can’t § I’m using pornography and I can’t stop § I want to stop overeating § I want to get more things done § I want to stop sleeping in so I can get my exercise in - This is all stuff we do or don’t...

Avsnitt(169)

Will More Sex Will Solve My Porn Problem?

Will More Sex Will Solve My Porn Problem?

I used to think that once my wife and I could have sex because we were married that my pornography problem would go away. Then when we got married and my pornography problem kept going, I used to thi...

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If you watch porn again, I'm divorcing you

If you watch porn again, I'm divorcing you

Find more at zachspafford.com

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How do I trust my spouse after pornography use

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Create realistic expectations - Not expecting my husband to commit to things I know he doesn’t have skills for. Looking honestly at yourself Could you honestly commit to eliminating your coping mech...

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Three secrets to creating trust after pornography Here is the truth of it. You can not make your wife trust you again. You do not have control over if your wife trusts you. All you can do is be someo...

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Becoming More Desirable

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One of the books that I have often recommended to my clients is a work by Dr. Robert Glover. His book, No More Mr. Nice Guy is a guide to men who have struggled to get what they want in “love, sex, ...

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Overcoming Pornography Takes Time - Just like your yard

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I had a conversation with a friend of mine who while we are about the same age, he started his family well after I did. His two kids are the same age as our youngest two kids. We worked together in ...

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Overcome Pornography Client Interview - Josh and Amber

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In this interview with Josh and Amber, we discuss their success and how overcoming pornography has made their lives better.

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This week in the membership one of my members was talking about the question that another member had asked during our previous session. The man I was coaching said, “when That guy asked that questio...

4 Juli 202221min

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