How do I know I'm ready to change?

How do I know I'm ready to change?

zachspafford.com/freecall How can I tell that I’m ready to change? Costs outweigh the benefits. - Buffering provides something - Acknowledge those benefits. - How do you want to feel when you think about pornography - “Client said, I want to feel disgusted.” - That doesn’t acknowledge what pornography has done for you - - That also doesn’t acknowledge what it is costing you - It is just a judgement that makes you feel disgusted because you like pornography - So, honestly acknowledging the costs and the benefits of use will allow you to make the cost benefit analysis - Wanting vs commitment - For the better part of 25 years I wanted pornography out of my life. - I pleaded with Heavenly Father to take this problem away from me - For lots of years it was just a want, the way a little girl wants a pony. - I would ask and think that I just deserved it because I asked for it. - . - It wasn’t until after we got married and Darcy found out about my pornography use that I really got committed. - It wasn’t until it was costing me my self confidence and I was desperate to stop feeling like a terrible person who was never going to get rid of this problem that I started to take action. - I started with bishops, who were great and loved me. - They didn’t have the answers, they were there for me to confess but not to give me tools. - They sent me to counselors who were there to hear where I was and witness my struggle and validate my feelings, but didn’t have any answers, didn’t have any real world idea of how I was doing and why I was where I was. - They just told me I was an addict. - So that lead me to the twelve steps… which was full of earnest men, trying to move forward with their lives. - but that time only served to reinforce that I was “powerless against my addiction” - - - Then when we had the twins, I took a step back. I saw that none of this had gotten me where I wanted to go. - So I committed to figure it out by looking into my own mind, true principles that I could see from a gospel perspective and all the things I learned that made sense from what I had done before. - - This is what being committed looks like. - Trying. - Trying again, - Trying something new - Trying something different - Trying anything I hadn’t tried before - Trying things that were harder than anything I had done before - I spent $40,000 and...

Avsnitt(169)

Will More Sex Will Solve My Porn Problem?

Will More Sex Will Solve My Porn Problem?

I used to think that once my wife and I could have sex because we were married that my pornography problem would go away. Then when we got married and my pornography problem kept going, I used to thi...

22 Aug 202212min

If you watch porn again, I'm divorcing you

If you watch porn again, I'm divorcing you

Find more at zachspafford.com

15 Aug 202235min

How do I trust my spouse after pornography use

How do I trust my spouse after pornography use

Create realistic expectations - Not expecting my husband to commit to things I know he doesn’t have skills for. Looking honestly at yourself Could you honestly commit to eliminating your coping mech...

8 Aug 202226min

How do I get my wife to trust me again

How do I get my wife to trust me again

Three secrets to creating trust after pornography Here is the truth of it. You can not make your wife trust you again. You do not have control over if your wife trusts you. All you can do is be someo...

1 Aug 202223min

Becoming More Desirable

Becoming More Desirable

One of the books that I have often recommended to my clients is a work by Dr. Robert Glover. His book, No More Mr. Nice Guy is a guide to men who have struggled to get what they want in “love, sex, ...

25 Juli 202221min

Overcoming Pornography Takes Time - Just like your yard

Overcoming Pornography Takes Time - Just like your yard

I had a conversation with a friend of mine who while we are about the same age, he started his family well after I did. His two kids are the same age as our youngest two kids. We worked together in ...

18 Juli 202211min

Overcome Pornography Client Interview - Josh and Amber

Overcome Pornography Client Interview - Josh and Amber

In this interview with Josh and Amber, we discuss their success and how overcoming pornography has made their lives better.

11 Juli 202234min

Overcoming Pornography Even When We Feel Shame

Overcoming Pornography Even When We Feel Shame

This week in the membership one of my members was talking about the question that another member had asked during our previous session. The man I was coaching said, “when That guy asked that questio...

4 Juli 202221min

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