Be Direct for Better Sex

Renowned clinical sex therapist and best-selling author, Ian Kerner Ph.D. joins me today to talk about sex scripts, why fantasies are important for a relationship, the dynamics of kink, porn as “homework” and how to get into a flow state during sex. Dr. Kerner is the author of the legendary book She Comes First, “the thinking man’s guide to pleasuring a woman” and he just released a new book So, Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex. We cover a lot in this interview including what has changed in his last 20+ years as a practicing sex therapist. Hint: erectile dysfunction in younger men is real. Dr. Kerner (“the man who made oral sex into an art form”) walks us through his latest book and explains how you can decode and rewrite your relationship’s sex script and bring your erotic self into the bedroom to transform your sex life. We discuss the importance of psychological arousal, what happens to your body during the honeymoon phase, when to challenge the monogamy script, what to do when there is a “desire discrepancy” in a relationship and so much more. “When it comes to sex and relationship problems, many of us are leading lives of quiet desperation. Sometimes you can be lying in bed next to someone and feel a million miles apart. Talking about sex and relationships is hard, but self-silencing can be even harder in the long run.” – Dr. Kerner Show Notes: Ian's New Book: So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex Getting Cliterate w/ Dr. Ian Kerner Rosemary Basson Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. The Kinsey Institute For more information about Ian Kerner, visit: IanKerner.com For even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

23 Apr 202154min

Happy 4/20! I’m joined by badass medicine woman, spiritual mentor, and rap priestess Lizzy Jeff to break down how cannabis can elevate your bedroom experiences. We discuss how to use THC and CBD for sex, the importance of getting high with intention, the necessity for healing sexual experiences, and why high sex is hot AF. We also share how to find the best strains and doses for users of all experience levels, the importance of quality cannabis, our OWN relationships to weed+sex, and how “sex magick” can transform your life. Plus, we answer your questions about whether or not marijuana can improve orgasms, cottonmouth (not fun for oral), and how to shift your energy out of your head and into your body. For more information about Lizzy Jeff, visit: lizzyjeff.com For even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

21 Apr 202143min

How well do you know the vulva and vagina? In this episode, I’m joined by four guests to break down all things V. We’re talking about how to take care of your vulva, the importance of strengthening your pelvic floor, WTF is up with menopause, and so much more. My first guest is OB/GYN, author of the She-Ology book series, and an expert in all things women’s sexual health, Dr. Sherry Ross. She shares the benefits of getting to know your (or your partner’s) vulva, the relationship between insecurity and porn, solutions for painful sex, and of course, squirting. Next, we have MaryEllen Reider, from Yarlap, who joins me to talk about the importance of the pelvic floor muscles. Did you know that stronger pelvic floor muscles can make stronger orgasms? It’s true! Finally, the founder of Tabu, Natalie Waltz, and her mother, Ouhoud Dabbas help me demystify menopause and discuss how masturbation can help increase your libido. For more information about Dr. Sherry, visit: drsherry.com For more information about MaryEllen Reider & Yarlap, visit: yarlap.com For more information about Natalie Waltz & Ouhoud Dabbas, visit: heytabu.com For even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

17 Apr 202150min

The brain is the largest and most important sex organ. So on today’s Best Of, I’m joined by one of the world experts on optimal brain performance, Jim Kwik. We talk about how to sharpen and focus your memory (no more forgetting your anniversary), specific steps to activate a healthy brain, and the best foods to give your brain a boost. You’ll be able to follow along as we walk through very specific, impactful, and easy to learn exercises you can use right away –– because a big, healthy brain is always sexy. For more on Jim Kwik visit jimkwik.com For even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

13 Apr 202154min

Fact: Your STI doesn’t make you ANY less sexy! In today's episode, I’m joined by the author of Strange Bedfellows and medical consultant, Dr. Ina Park who has made it her life's work to reduce the shame and stigma associated with sexually transmitted infections, AKA, STIs. Ina shares everything you need to know if you or someone you’re sleeping with is infected, how to reduce your risk of transmission, and when to disclose your status to a partner. We also discuss Ina’s #1 tip for STI prevention, what to know about how your personal grooming can impact transmission and a surprising discovery about The Bachelor’s casting process. Finally, we answer your questions about transmission through oral sex, when it’s possible to get intimate without a condom and why having an STI isn’t a death sentence for your relationships. Let’s ditch the shame and bring on the sex. For more information about Dr. Ina Park, visit: inapark.net For even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

9 Apr 202152min

After a year of social distancing, many of us have forgotten how to flirt and date IRL. The good news: with a little practice, you’ll be stronger and sexier than ever before. In this episode, I cover the lessons we’ve learned from a year of isolation and digital dating and I also take a look at what might be in store for us in the year ahead. I walk you through how to regain confidence, uplevel your flirting skills, and important questions to ask yourself before jumping back out there. I also answer questions about what to know when considering a “friend with benefits” arrangement, how to prepare for sex after a dry spell, getting back with an ex, and dating post-divorce. Show Notes: Love Language quiz For even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

7 Apr 202146min

What if the euphoric bliss from an orgasm was captured in other moments of your daily life? Whether you’re eating a meal or spending time outside, prioritizing sensuality helps you start to experience what today’s guests like to call “orgasmic living.” I’m joined by the creators of Afrosexology, Dalychia Saah and Rafaella Fiallo who join me to discuss the power of this life-changing concept. Their mission is to empower, educate and explore Black sexuality and self-improvement through sexual liberation. We discuss their journey into creating Afrosexology, the importance of embodiment, the power of centering pleasure and being intentional in the present moment. We also demystify different aspects of kink, polyamory, and compersion, so that you can see if any of these are things you’d want to add to your sex life. Plus, we answer your questions about prioritizing your pleasure as much as your partner’s and feeling more connected during and after sexual experiences. For more information about Dalychia Saah & Rafaella Fiallo , visit: afrosexology.com For even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

2 Apr 202148min

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a million times: there should be a bottle of lube (or more) on every nightstand. I mean, seriously just a few drops can transform your sex and amplify the amount of pleasure. But, it can be difficult to know what kind of lube is best suited for you and your needs. On today’s show, I break down the best lubes for masturbation, anal, penetrative, and oral sex. I share the results of our Better Sex Survey sponsored by Pjur Lube. I cover products that are safe for a vagina’s PH and some household items that are better kept in the kitchen than inside of you. I also discuss what your wetness really means, the transformation lube can have with discomfort during sex, how sex increases intimacy between you and your partner, and how penis size can change with an erection. For even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

30 Mars 202150min