How to engage in self care without guilt

Incorporating self-care has been a journey for over 33 years… so basically my whole life!...and it still continues to be a journey. Before I would feel really guilty about doing anything for myself. I believe this stemmed from not seeing other women around me prioritizing themselves and their needs. Growing up as a South Asian, our culture encourages women to sacrifice their needs for the sake of their family. Even in my own life I did this, I was the “go to” person everyone relied on and I continued to give myself until eventually it started affecting my own health negatively, both physically and mentally. I was starting to gain weight again and I was moody, angry and resentful. Couple of years ago, when I got tired of feeling this way, I realized I had to make some changes to take care of myself. Over time I started to instill some boundaries and prioritize my own health. Through this I realized the people that genuinely cared about me supported me. I also realized the people who were benefiting from my lack of boundaries and who I was constantly taking care of were actually upset. These people made me feel guilty and I eventually realized it was just a one-way relationship. Another lesson I learned is that when I took care of myself, I was actually able to give the best version of myself to my closest loved ones. This time when I was giving, it came without expectations or resentment and it improved my relationships with the people that genuinely cared about me. From the changes I’ve made, I have also been able to inspire my loved ones to prioritize their health and self care too…now they are also able to give their best selves to their loved ones… and the positive ripple effect continues! I hope by sharing these two big lessons from my journey, you can start to shift your mindset around self-care. Self care can be anything you want it to be. It's not about spending money on nails or massages but also about setting boundaries and prioritizing your health, which can include getting more sleep or engaging in activities you enjoy to de-stress.

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