Ep 343 - Ally

As long as Stephanie can remember she's been attracted to, and curious about, lots of different people. Of course, most of us are conditioned for this to not be something to embrace and so she didn't know what to do with it all. She began exploring her sexuality in her twenties and ended up in a relationship where she was able to start dipping her toes into non-monogamy with a partner before diving deeper into solo polyamory.   Throughout this beautiful interview she shares with us how she has learned and grown along her journey. Not only does she share her intimate story with us, she made an incredible film that is loosely based on some of her experiences. Our conversation weaves in themes from the film as we discuss the crossover to her real life and what non-monogamy looks like for her.   Stephanie Sellars is a New York-based filmmaker, writer, and performer. Her award-winning debut feature film, Lust Life Love, premiered at the Berlin Independent Film Festival and was released by 1091 Pictures on worldwide VOD platforms. She has also written, produced, directed, and acted in many award-winning short films, and her jazz album, Girl Who Loves, can be found on Spotify, iTunes and other music platforms. She holds an MFA in film from Columbia University and an MFA in creative writing from Bennington Writing Seminars. Lust Life Love can be watched on many platforms, including Amazon Prime, Apple TV, Google Play and Tubi.   Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! $10 Off - Online STI Testing https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/

28 Dec 202259min

Maria is back! And! Steve is here with her for the first time and the conversation we have is beyond powerful. If you listened to Maria's first interview on Episode 239, you heard about how her infidelity was the catalyst for them to open their marriage. Today we have the rare opportunity to talk with both halves of a couple about their experiences facing, navigating, repairing, and healing from the breaking of trust and cheating.   We owe a ton of gratitude to both of them for how vulnerable and deep they go in this conversation. It's not just about cheating. It's about how they got to the point where cheating was even a consideration. It's about societal scripts and control. It's about undoing so much of what we have been told is the right way to do relationships. It's about how you can move forward in the face of adversity. It's also about chore lists... Listen and you'll see how something as simple as a chore list helped bring back the balance these two needed to not just repair, but to land in the best place they've ever been together.   A bit more about Maria from her personal bio: Maria Palumbo has her Master's of Social work. She began as a psychotherapist in community mental health. She studied trauma and its impact on creating an “eat your heart out” life and then took her findings and started her own business. She began creating programs that awaken the sex and heart. She is passionate about people owning the impact of trauma and creating a life of vitality and rich intimacy. Since beginning her business, Maria has helped hundreds of people (both virtually and in-person) realize that their vulnerability and truest turn on, makes them irresistible.    Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! $10 Off - Online STI Testing https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/

21 Dec 20221h 28min

Kelli and Conner opened up their relationship pretty early on as a way for Kelli to explore her bisexuality. For the last few years they have been on an adventure together to find ways to get each of their needs and desires met, both as individuals and as a couple.   However! As they put it, it's about way more than just sex... These two were on an amazing journey of self-evolution before they came together, and now they're taking life on as a team. We have so many beautiful conversations around self-work, expectations, owning your shit, communication, and maybe a threesome or two. We also have a ton of gratitude for both of them for how honest and transparent they were about their experience with In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)... So powerful.   Kelli and Conner run a podcast production company called Soulfire Productions. The also each host their own podcast as well... Kelli's is called OK, Babe and Conner's is Politically Homeless. Go check out all their work and send them some love!   Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! $10 Off - Online STI Testing https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/

14 Dec 20221h 40min

This conversation is so much fun! So much! Eve opens this interview by saying "I'm a woman who does a lot... That means work-wise, and people-wise!" She is such a delight to talk to and our conversation is full of laughs that also weave in some beautiful and important lessons Eve has learned along her journey.   Eve has been in open relationships since pretty much her first adult relationship. How those relationships have looked has evolved over time as she has grown and learned more about herself. We have some incredible conversations about her personal growth, jealousy, transitioning relationships, and so much more... Eve also shares some absolutely hilarious stories with us from her various jobs over the years that are sex work-adjacent.   Eve is also the co-creator of The Secret Circus cabaret show that has expanded from the UK to LA! Definitely go check it out!   Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! $10 Off - Online STI Testing https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/

7 Dec 20221h 6min

In case you haven't listened to Episode 145... Here's the super short version, but you'll want to go back and get all the amazing details for yourself... Rah and Tom are wonderful humans who are married. A few years back, another wonderful human danced onto the scene, enter Mel. The three of them forged an incredible bond and throuple relationship. Again, there's so much more to it. But, that brings us to where this episode starts.   So what's changed? Well, they're still wonderful humans. Rah and Tom made a new human. They've all developed new relationships. The throuple is still a throuple, but the polycule has roughly doubled in size since we last spoke. Of course, it's been a flawless transition and they didn't have any learning or growing to do along the way. Or did they? Only one way to find out.     Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! $10 Off - Online STI Testing https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/

30 Nov 20221h 24min

This conversation is incredibly powerful in so many ways! Elizabeth is in her early thirties and has been exploring ethical non-monogamy for over a decade. Things got off to a bit of an unethical start during college but she quickly decided to just take ownership of her wants and who she was. She didn't have any language for what she was doing or wanting but that didn't stop her from blazing her own trail. As she puts it... She sort of "wrecking balled" her way through polyamory for a bit.   The way she has approached non-monogamy over the course of her journey has evolved, but she has always shown up with as much integrity and transparency as possible. She shares with us in a deeply honest and transparent way about her struggles, her flaws, and her (hilarious) bloopers. At the same time, she balances it with the incredible amount of love and support she has surrounding her from partners, family, and friends. What's amazing to us about this conversation is how powerful it is, while at the same time, we laughed our way through the entire thing.   Elizabeth is also a relationship coach, primarily working with people in the polyamorous and queer communities... Her website bio hardly does her work justice, but it's better than we could write. So, here is a bit more about Elizabeth in her own words.   Love, Relationships, and Sexuality have always been something that Elizabeth has been passionate about. Ever since she was a kid she has been curious about how love, relationships and sexuality shape people’s lives. Especially, growing up in the Midwest where sexuality is not as talked about, she began asking herself and others questions that people had not been asked before about their sexuality and relationships. ​ She followed this passion and went to college at the University of Kansas where she earned two Bachelor’s Degrees; Political Science and Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies with an emphasis in Religion and a Certificate in Service Learning.   After college, she worked as a volunteer in Community and Outreach for the Willow Domestic Violence Center. There she co-started the SAFE Initiative, where her and a team went into the community and talk to kids ages 5 - 18 about self-esteem, bullying, healthy relationships, self-love, the power of language and more. She also lead and created trainings for other volunteers on privilege, What is Domestic Violence?, How to Recognize an abuser and Being Sensitive to Sexuality. During the three years at the Willow Domestic Violence Center she lead and created talks, lectures and discussions to people ranging from the ages of 5 years old to 85 years old.   Elizabeth moved to Seattle, Washington, in 2014. She realized that her work at the domestic violence center was important but ultimately not what she wanted to be doing. In the words of Mother Theresa, Gandhi, MLK and the like, what you speak into the world is what exists. She decided she wanted to be on the side of love and relationships where she was speaking love into the world. She wanted to make a difference with people before they came to a domestic violence center. In essence, she wants to put these centers out of business.   One of the biggest takeaways from college and her experiences lead her to believe that when people are empowered, the world works. So began her journey of self-growth and development. Using herself as her own guinea pig she began to learn as much about why humans make the decisions that they do.   In her journey discovering why people make the decisions that they do, why she has made the decisions she has made, she began coaching others. Organically, it grew into a coaching business. Over the years, Elizabeth has helped people discover where their mindset is limiting their potential in love and in life. It is her true calling to witness others transform their relationships to themselves and show up for others in the ways that they have always wanted to. It is who she is, what she stands for and it is her mission in life to expand the conversation of love in the world.   Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! $10 Off - Online STI Testing https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/

23 Nov 20221h 14min

Wendy Strgar is an author and an award-winning social entrepreneur and the founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, a pioneer in the organic personal care product industry. Wendy started Good Clean Love in her kitchen almost 20 years ago and has since grown it into a multimillion dollar, certified B-Corporation. Wendy’s mission in life is to increase the quality and quantity of healthy, loving, relationships in the world. Married for over 34 years, her daily life has always been the laboratory for her work.   We cover a ton of different topics in this fantastic conversation with her. She talks about the inspiration behind starting Good Clean Love, how she's managed to nurture a 34+ year marriage, the importance of cultivating a fulfilling sex life for yourself, taking care of your sexual health, and advice for tapping into your sexual self... She also shares a lot of her personal stories and relationship journey as well.   As you can imagine... ALL of these pieces of her life are very interlinked and tied to what Good Clean Love stands for. It's an incredible conversation and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did!   In addition to serving as Good Clean Love’s CEO, Wendy is a popular blogger, host of the renowned Dear Sex Podcast and author of two books. Sex That Works: An Intimate Guide To Awakening Your Erotic Life and Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy. A sexual health educator and loveologist, Wendy is the featured writer at the award-winning blog, Making Love Sustainable. Her writing has been featured on Eco Salon, Care2, The Huffington Post and Elephant Journal, among many others.   To save 10% off your order at Good Clean Love, use the offer code EMMA at check out!   Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! $10 Off - Online STI Testing https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/

18 Nov 20221h 5min

This conversation with Rainey and Paco is incredible. We laugh, we cry, we laugh some more... Don't skip this one.   These two have been together for about six years, nesting together for two, and recently got married just a few months ago! A few years back, they decided to open their relationship and it's evolved over the years. Their particularly flavor of ethical non-monogamy falls somewhere between swinging and polyamory. It's not a clearly defined boundary but one thing is clear... "It's not JUST sex!"   They come from two very different backgrounds. They've both been married once before. Paco is Puerto Rican and has been breaking away from the "Latin Machismo" and rewriting what it means to be himself. Rainey comes from a very conservative religious background and is coming out of an abusive marriage.   They talk through how they've worked together to overcome jealousy, fears, and so much more to land in the best relationship they've ever had and are more themselves than they've ever been!   Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! $10 Off - Online STI Testing https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/

16 Nov 20221h 21min