455: How to Create Great Relationships, with Colleen Bordeaux

Colleen Bordeaux: Am I Doing This Right?

Colleen Bordeaux is a best-selling author, speaker and human capital consultant based in Chicago. She has been published everywhere from the Chicago Sun Times to the Huffington Post and has been endorsed by New York Times columnist and past guest Barry Schwartz and Sunday Times bestselling author Louise Parker.

Her popular blog has reached more than 200,000 readers and she leads a women’s mastermind group in Chicago. She is the author of the new book: Am I Doing This Right?: A Philosophical Guide to Life in the Age of Overwhelm*.

In this conversation, Colleen and I discuss the power of relationships — and some of the key principles for cultivating the very best relationships to support you, both professionally and personally.

Key Points

You are the same today that you are going to be in five years except for two things: the people with whom you associate, and the books you read. -Charles Jones

To be nobody but yourself in a world which does its best, day and night, to make you everyone else, is to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting. -e.e. cummings

Six steps to improving the relationships you cultivate:

1. Assess your own crab-status.
2. Take stock of who you’re spending time with.
3. Consider who you’re not spending time with, but want to be spending time with.
4. Evaluate these relationships based on what you need in your life.
5. Eliminate or manage the relationships that aren’t working to create more space for the ones you need.
6. Create a relationship mantra (Colleen’s is below):

My relationships are the best gift I’ve been given, and they are my biggest responsibility. The primary purpose of each of my relationships is to help each other become better versions of ourselves by sharing our authentic experiences, perspectives, and gifts. I will be open to new connections, because that is a source of growth in life—and I will seek and cultivate friendships that bring me to life, and distance myself from relationships that drain me and influence me to betray my values. I aspire to have the kind of quality relationships that inspire others in how they approach developing, growing, and cultivating this important area of their lives. -Colleen Bordeaux

Resources Mentioned

• Am I Doing This Right?: A Philosophical Guide to Life in the Age of Overwhelm* by Colleen Bordeaux

Book Notes

Download my highlights from Am I Doing This Right? in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

• How to Grow Your Professional Network, with Tom Henschel (episode 279)
• The Way to Build Relationships at Conferences, with Robbie Samuels (episode 346)
• Grow Beyond What is Safe, with John Corcoran (episode 362)
• How to Create Meaningful Gatherings, with Priya Parker (episode 395)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.