Emiliya Zhivotovskaya
The One You Feed30 Sep 2014

Emiliya Zhivotovskaya

I was lucky enough to catch Emiliya Zhivotovskaya near the end of Camp GLP and we were able to sit down in her small room on the floor, holding microphones and have this conversation. I think we were both very tired after a great weekend at camp. She had delivered numerous workshops, emceed the Talent Show and was feeling under the weather to boot. Nonetheless it was a wonderful and warm conversation. Enjoy!!
At the age of 5, Emiliya and her family fled from Kiev, escaping the fall of Communism and the nuclear disaster at Chernobyl. She found herself in a new land, faced with challenges completely foreign to the average kid growing up in a New York suburb. Then, 9 years later, she faced yet another tragedy, the sudden loss of her brother as he ran to save his fiancé from drowning and lost his life in the process of saving hers. And years later, the loss of her mother.
From this place of deep challenge, she could have turned to the dark side. She could have given up, blamed the world and walked away from joy. From happiness. From possibility. Instead, she found awakening, strength and a renewed sense of gratitude. She discovered within herself a wellspring of resilience and a relentless desire to understand where this came from and how to bring a similar lens to others. She was determined to help others flourish.
Her exploration quickly developed into a lifelong quest, leading her to study psychology at Long Island University, then get her masters degree in applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania under the guidance of the legendary founder of the science, professor Martin Seligman. Graduating summa cum laude, she has gone on to found the Certification in Positive Psychology program at the Open Center and head up her own endeavor, The Flourishing Center. Emiliya is also currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Mind-Body Medicine at Saybrook University, where she is also on the graduate faculty. (Curriculum Vitae)
Emiliya Zhivotovskaya is widely acclaimed for her striking ability to share the transformative power of positive psychology, deliver actionable and specific strategies that yield tangible, measurable results. And share these ideas in a wonderfully engaging and entertaining way.
In This Interview Emiliya and I Discuss...

The One You Feed parable.
How both wolves are part of the human condition.
How to feed both wolves and integrate them.
Courage is not a lack of fear but having the ability to move through it.
The bad wolf is trying to protect us, it is part of our evolutionary programming.
What is positive psychology?
How both positive and negative emotions are useful.
The role of positive psychology in handling depression and anxiety.
Depression masquerading as loneliness.
Why there are not more depression support groups.
Depression as learned helplessness.
The criticality of exercise in handling depression (Want to be depressed? Don't exercise!)
The BDNF and Serotonin loop.
Taking micro-steps to build new habits.
The biological wiring of social comparison.
The role of gratitude in feeling better.
How gratitude shifts the brain into a more expansive state.
The small tweak that makes gratitude much more powerful.
How negative emotion and problem solving are not connected, they can be pulled apart.
That negative emotions make problem solving worse and narrows our ability to see options.
How positive emotions help us move into broaden and build mode.
That pain as a motivator falls prey to the law of diminishing returns.
Eustress-the role of useful stress.
The difference between useful and destructive stress.
Thinking about being happier but not taking any action is worse than not thinking about it all.
The fixed vs growth mindset.
How you can't enjoy the journey when stuck in the fixed mindset and the growth mindset creates the conditions to enjoy the journey.


Emiliya Zhivotovskaya Links
Emiliya Zhivotovskaya Homepage
Emiliya Zhivotovskaya Facebook
Emiliya Zhivotovskaya Twitter
Certificate in Positive Psychology created by Emiliya Zhivotovskaya


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How to Recognize the Hidden Signs of Burnout with Leah Weiss

How to Recognize the Hidden Signs of Burnout with Leah Weiss

What if the very thing that gives your life meaning is also what's burning you out? That's the paradox. Leah Weiss found herself in teaching compassionate leadership at Stanford. Working with organizations inspired by the Dalai Lama. Doing the kind of work most of us dream of. And yet she was falling apart. In today's conversation, we unpacked the silent erosion of self that can happen even when everything looks right on the outside. Leah shares how burnout crept in under the guise of purpose, why discernment can't be done alone, and how the small act of knitting helped her find her way back to herself. This episode is a map for anyone wondering is it me? Is it the job or is it the world we're trying to survive in?Key Takeaways:The issue of burnout, particularly in the workplace.Personal experiences and challenges related to burnout.The importance of recognizing signs and symptoms of burnout.The concept of discernment in addressing dissatisfaction.Distinction between burnout and compassion fatigue.The role of community and support in navigating burnout.Factors contributing to burnout at individual, team, and organizational levels.The significance of psychological safety and team dynamics.The search for meaning and alignment of personal values in work.The impact of entrepreneurship on well-being, particularly for women founders.If you enjoyed this conversation with Leah Weiss, check out these other episodes:Embracing Emotions at Work with Liz FosslienHow to Deal with Burnout Through Self-Compassion with Kristin NeffFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramThe Tao Te Ching is one of those books I keep coming back to. Ancient wisdom, wrapped in poetry, that somehow feels more relevant every year. Like this line: “If you look to others for happiness, you will never be happy. If your well-being depends on money, you will never be content.“Simple. Clear. Actually useful.I’ve teamed up with Rebind.ai to create an interactive edition of the Tao—forty essential verses, translated into plain, everyday language, with space to reflect, explore, and ask questions. It’s like having a conversation not just with the Tao, but with me too. If you’re looking for more clarity, calm, or direction, check it out here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

13 Juni 57min

The Nobility of Service: Finding Magic and Connection in the Smallest Gestures with Will Guidara

The Nobility of Service: Finding Magic and Connection in the Smallest Gestures with Will Guidara

What do a fine dining maitre d. A magician burying cards in a backyard and a toddler looking for Elsa have in common? They all show us that magic still exists. If we’re willing to care more, than seems reasonable. In this episode, Will Guidara, who’s a former co-owner of 11 Madison Park, which was once named the best restaurant in the world, the author of Unreasonable Hospitality and advisor on the hit series The Bear, shares how he transformed a restaurant into the best in the world not through perfection but through moments of radical hospitality. Whether it was sending out hot dogs on fine China or designing hand signals to pour water silently. It was never only about the food, it was about making people feel seen. This is a conversation about joy, about seeing service not as subservience, but as nobility and the kind of creativity that invites connection.The Tao Te Ching is one of those books I keep coming back to. Ancient wisdom, wrapped in poetry, that somehow feels more relevant every year. Like this line: “If you look to others for happiness, you will never be happy. If your well-being depends on money, you will never be content.“Simple. Clear. Actually useful.I’ve teamed up with Rebind.ai to create an interactive edition of the Tao—forty essential verses, translated into plain, everyday language, with space to reflect, explore, and ask questions. It’s like having a conversation not just with the Tao, but with me too. If you’re looking for more clarity, calm, or direction, check it out here.Key Takeaways:The concept of hospitality and its significance in various aspects of life.Insights from the restaurant industry and the transformation of dining experiences.The balance between kindness and excellence in service.The importance of making people feel seen and valued.The idea of “unreasonable hospitality” and exceeding expectations.The role of creativity in building meaningful connections.The impact of self-care and generosity in service roles.Navigating relationships and managing people effectively.The value of criticism as an investment in personal growth.The importance of community and connection in fostering relationships.Will Guidara: Website | Instagram | LinkedInIf you enjoyed this conversation with Will Guidara, check out these other episodes:How to Connect More Deeply With the World with James CrewsHow to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection with Charles DuhiggFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

10 Juni 1h

Embrace the Chaos: Finding Clarity Through Meditation with Henry Shukman (Part 2)

Embrace the Chaos: Finding Clarity Through Meditation with Henry Shukman (Part 2)

In part one of this two-part conversation, we walked along the edge of paradox where effort gives way to ease and the search itself becomes the obstacle. In this second part of my conversation with Zen teacher Henry Shukman, the way begins to reveal itself, not as something we grasp, but something we live. We talk about awakening, the collapse of separation, and what it means to encounter reality directly beyond language, beyond self. And we find ourselves circling the same mystery from different directions, Henry through the Zen path and his app The Way and me through a new project with Rebind, which is a new AI powered dialogue with the Tao Te Ching. Different forms, different longing to meet life more honestly, more fully and more whole.Discover a Deeper Path in Meditation – Looking for more than just another meditation app? The Way, created by Zen teacher Henry Shukman, offers a single, step-by-step journey designed to take you deeper—one session at a time. Get started today with 30 free sessions!The Tao Te Ching is one of those books I keep coming back to. Ancient wisdom, wrapped in poetry, that somehow feels more relevant every year. Like this line: “If you look to others for happiness, you will never be happy. If your well-being depends on money, you will never be content.“Simple. Clear. Actually useful.I’ve teamed up with Rebind.ai to create an interactive edition of the Tao—forty essential verses, translated into plain, everyday language, with space to reflect, explore, and ask questions. It’s like having a conversation not just with the Tao, but with me too. If you’re looking for more clarity, calm, or direction, check it out here.Key Takeaways:Exploration of meditation and mindfulness practices.Insights on the nature of thoughts and their observation during meditation.Importance of a structured approach to meditation.Personal experiences and reflections on meditation journeys.Discussion of the “inner radio” metaphor for understanding thoughts.Techniques for enhancing present-moment awareness through meditation.The significance of variety in meditation practices to cater to individual needs.The role of moderation and balance in personal growth, drawing from the Dao De Jing.The relationship between relative understanding and direct experience in Zen.The transformative potential of embracing uncertainty and interconnectedness in life.Henry Shukman is a poet, author, and meditation teacher who has guided thousands of students from around the world through mindfulness and awakening practices. A Zen master in the Sanbo Zen lineage and the spiritual director emeritus at Mountain Cloud Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico, Henry is a cofounder of The Way meditation app and founder of the Original Love meditation program and has taught meditation at Google and Harvard Business School. Connect with Henry Shukman: Website | InstagramIf you enjoyed this conversation with Henry Shukman, check out these other episodes:Embrace the Chaos: Finding Clarity Through Meditation with Henry Shukman (Part 1)How to Find and Follow a Healing Path with Henry ShukmanFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

6 Juni 1h

Embrace the Chaos: Finding Clarity Through Meditation with Henry Shukman (Part 1)

Embrace the Chaos: Finding Clarity Through Meditation with Henry Shukman (Part 1)

In this episode, Henry Shukman discusses how to embrace the chaos and find clarity through meditation while exploring themes of self-development and self-love. Henry emphasizes the balance between effort and acceptance in spiritual practice, highlighting the interplay between sudden insights (satori) and gradual progress. He also discuss the importance of understanding one’s motivation for meditation and how a clear “why” can sustain long-term practice. The episode encourages listeners to embrace all aspects of themselves and appreciate the journey of personal growth. Discover a Deeper Path in Meditation – Looking for more than just another meditation app? The Way, created by Zen teacher Henry Shukman, offers a single, step-by-step journey designed to take you deeper—one session at a time. Get started today with 30 free sessions here: www.oneyoufeed.net/theway Key Takeaways: The transformative power of meditation in personal growth. The balance between effort and acceptance in spiritual practice. The relationship between sudden insights (satori) and gradual development in meditation. The importance of understanding one’s motivation and purpose in maintaining a meditation practice. The role of structure in facilitating spiritual growth and practice. The significance of embracing all aspects of oneself, including less desirable traits. The dualities present in spiritual practice, such as self-improvement versus self-acceptance. The concept of “wu wei” or effortless effort in meditation and life. The value of recognizing life as a gift, even amidst challenges. The interplay between various meditation traditions and their contributions to a well-rounded practice If you enjoyed this conversation with Henry Shukman, check out these other episodes: How to Embrace Original Love on the Path to Awakening with Henry Shukman How to Find and Follow a Healing Path with Henry Shukman Effortless Mindfulness with Loch Kelly For full show notes, click here! Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

3 Juni 1h

Navigating Fear and Hope: the Everyday Courage That Shapes Our Lives with Ryan Holiday

Navigating Fear and Hope: the Everyday Courage That Shapes Our Lives with Ryan Holiday

In this episode, Ryan Holiday explores navigating fear and hope and the everyday courage that shapes our lives. He unpacks how to confront our fears and how we need to do so, over and over. With great stories and insights, we are reminded that we don’t have to be fearless, we just have to begin. Key Takeaways: The concept of courage and its significance in everyday life. The relationship between courage and fear, including how to confront fears. The importance of personal agency and making choices that shape our lives. The role of vulnerability in fostering connection and understanding. Historical and contemporary examples of courage and heroism. The four cardinal virtues: courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom. The idea that courage is not just for heroes but is present in daily decisions. The impact of sharing struggles and experiences on personal and collective healing. The notion that hope requires courage, especially in the face of adversity. The importance of taking action and making decisions to overcome analysis paralysis. If you enjoyed this conversation with Ryan Holiday, check out these other episodes: Why Community and Courage Matter More Than Ever with Laura McKowen How to Overcome Cynicism and Embrace Hope with Jamil Zaki For full show notes, click here! Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

30 Maj 52min

Failure as Fertilizer: Learning to Bloom Again with Debbie Millman

Failure as Fertilizer: Learning to Bloom Again with Debbie Millman

In this episode, Debbie Millman explores how we can use failure as fertilizer and learn to bloom again. Debbie's book and this conversation is about more than just gardening tips or tools, it's about what happens when we let ourselves be bad at something, especially later in life. Debbie opens up about learning to grow and why failure might be the richest soil we have. Whether you've ever felt stuck, afraid to try, or unsure if it's too late to start. Key Takeaways: Personal growth and development through gardening Lessons learned from failure and embracing new experiences The metaphor of gardening as a reflection of personal growth The impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on personal endeavors The importance of understanding circumstances that affect growth The balance between effort and environmental conditions in achieving success The significance of being a beginner and confronting fears later in life The role of external support and accountability in personal challenges The interplay between creativity, self-worth, and professional obligations The connection between nature, personal experiences, and emotional well-being If you enjoyed this conversation with Debbie Millman, check out these other episodes: Fluke or Fate? Embracing Uncertainty to Live a Fuller Life with Brian Klaas How to Find Zest in Life with Dr. John Kaag For full show notes, click here! Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

27 Maj 59min

From Benches to Breakthroughs: A New Approach to Mental Health with Dixon Chibanda

From Benches to Breakthroughs: A New Approach to Mental Health with Dixon Chibanda

In this episode, Dr. Dixon Chibanda explores from benches to breakthroughs: a new approach to mental health. He explains why storytelling, radical empathy, and solving daily-life problems often outperform medication-first approaches; how three simple steps—opening the mind, uplifting, strengthening—turn elders into community healers; and why hope, not symptom checklists, is the truest measure of success. Along the way, you’ll hear how ancestral wisdom blends with clinical science, how labels can hinder more than help, and how the very grandmothers Dixon trained ended up transforming him. Key Takeaways: Discussion on anxiety and its management through personal values and positive actions. Importance of human connection and storytelling in mental health care. Overview of the Friendship Bench initiative and its origins in Zimbabwe. Role of trained grandmothers in providing mental health support within communities. Need for accessible mental health care and addressing social determinants of health. Integration of Western psychiatric principles with African cultural practices. Significance of empathy and nonverbal communication in building therapeutic relationships. Training process for grandmothers in cognitive behavioral therapy and effective communication. Use of support groups to foster community and shared healing experiences. Emphasis on the power of storytelling and vulnerability in the therapeutic process. If you enjoyed this conversation with Dr. Dixon Chibanda, check out these other episodes: Why We Need to Rethink Mental Health with Eric Maisel Insights on Mental Health and Resilience with Andrew Solomon For full show notes, click here! Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

23 Maj 54min

Beyond Anxiety: How Curiosity Turns Fear Into Fuel with Martha Beck

Beyond Anxiety: How Curiosity Turns Fear Into Fuel with Martha Beck

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20 Maj 58min

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