Toni Bernhard
The One You Feed13 Jan 2016

Toni Bernhard

This week we talk to Toni Bernhard about not getting what we want


Toni Bernhard was a law professor at the University of California—Davis when she became very ill. Since then she had dealt with, and helped teach the world about how to deal with chronic conditions.
She is the author of How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and their Caregivers. Her second book is titled How to Wake Up: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide to Navigating Joy and Sorrow. Her latest book is How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness.



Our Sponsor this Week is Fracture
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In This Interview, Toni and I Discuss



The One You Feed parable
How we are forming our personality as we go
The malleability of the mind
Our inability to be nice ourselves
How it feels good to be nice, kind and compassionate
Her journey through illness
Learning to handle not getting our way
How hard dealing with chronic illness is
How most of our suffering comes from our reaction to events, not the events themselves.
Building a life within our limitations
Dealing with things that are out of our control
How pain and sorrow are inevitable but suffering is optional

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Noah Levine

Noah Levine

This week on The One You Feed we have Noah Levine.We were lucky enough to sit down with Noah in the Against the Stream headquarters in Los Angeles. Noah's teachings are core to everything that I have come to believe over the years. I'm really excited to present this interview.Noah Levine (born 1971) is an American Buddhist teacher and the author of the books Dharma Punx: A Memoir , Against the Stream,  and The Heart of The Revolution. As a counselor known for his philosophical alignment with Buddhism and punk ideology, he founded Against the Stream Buddhist Meditation Society. As a youth, Levine was incarcerated several times. His first book, Dharma Punx, details teenage years filled with drugs, violence, and multiple suicide attempts—choices fuelled by disillusionment with American mainstream culture. His substance abuse started early in life—at age six he began smoking marijuana—and finally ended in a padded detoxification cell in juvenile prison 11 years later. It was in this cell where he hit "an emotional rock bottom" and began his Buddhist practice "out of a place of extreme drug addiction and violence".He recently started Refuge Recovery which is a community of people who are using the practices of mindfulness, compassion, forgiveness and generosity to heal the pain and suffering that addiction has caused. His new book is titled Refuge Recovery: A Buddhist Path to Recovery from Addiction.In This Interview Noah and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.How he found Buddhism through his life failures.What "going against the stream" means.That the bad wolf has a stronger tendency in us and wins by default.How our capacity for kindness, generosity, and love have to be cultivated.Why the path of the Buddha is revolutionary.Going against the status quo.How to be in the world but not of it.The distinction between suffering and pain.The difference between craving and desire.Why suffering is not your fault.How the 1st Noble Truth normalizes the experience of suffering.The impermanent nature of all things.How we can never satisfy happiness through sense pleasure.How we layer suffering on top of our pain.Not asking "why" but instead asking "how do I respond"Meeting pain with compassion and kindness.Learning to include ourselves in our circle of compassion.The crippling power of doubt in our growth.The gradual nature of spiritual growth.How sometimes the first things we find in our spiritual practice is the bad stuff.His new program, Refuge Recovery. Noah Levine LinksAgainst the Stream homepageAgainst the Stream audio archivesNoah Levine HomepageNoah Levine Amazon Author Page Some of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysRich RollTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

28 Maj 201439min

Rosalind Wiseman

Rosalind Wiseman

This week on The One You Feed we have Rosalind Wiseman.Rosalind Wiseman is a teacher, thought leader, author, and media spokesperson on bullying, ethical leadership, the use of social media, and media literacy, she is in constant dialogue and collaboration with educators, parents, children, and teens.She is the author of Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World—the groundbreaking, best-selling book that was the basis for the movie Mean Girls. Her latest books, Masterminds & Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World was published in September 2013.  In addition, she wrote a free companion e-book for high school boys, entitled The Guide: Managing Douchebags, Recruiting Wingmen, and Attracting Who You Want.In This Interview Rosalind and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.Handling negativity in a positive way.The importance of the people and the things that choose to be surrounded by.How we all need a language which to communicate our emotional experience.The different expectations for boys and girls.The unwritten rules that try to force us into a box.How social status is often determined by how well we fit into these unwritten rules.How men battle body image issues and conditioning as well as girls.The Act Like a Man Box.How we are taught to dehumanize each other.The power of cultural conditioning messages.How we can never really overcome them, just learned to be more mindful of them.The shame of feeling like we don’t fit into the box.The link between being able ask for help and emotional well-being.Have dignity is nonnegotiable but respect must be earned.Listening is being willing to be changed by what you hear.Asking ourselves what our intention is in a conversation and making sure it isn’t just to win the argument.How being in connection to other humans is fundamental to our nature.The positive and negative power of groups.Trivializing others experiences because we don’t think they know as much as us. Rosalind Wiseman LinksRosalind Wiseman Homepage Rosalind Wiseman Amazon Author PageRosalind Wiseman on TwitterSome of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysRich RollTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

20 Maj 201431min

Andrew Solomon

Andrew Solomon

[powerpress] This week on The One You Feed we have Andrew Solomon.Andrew Solomon is a writer and lecturer on politics, culture and psychology.Solomon’s newest book, Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity, published on November 13, 2012, won the National Book Critics Circle award for nonfiction among many other awards. The New York Times hailed the book, writing, “It’s a book everyone should read… there’s no one who wouldn't be a more imaginative and understanding parent — or human being — for having done so… a wise and beautiful book.”  People described it as “a brave, beautiful book that will expand your humanity."Solomon’s previous book, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression (Scribner, 2001), won the 2001 National Book Award for Nonfiction, was a finalist for the 2002 Pulitzer Prize, and was included in The Times of London‘s list of one hundred best books of the decade. A New York Times bestseller in both hardcover and paperback editions, The Noonday Demon has also been a bestseller in seven foreign countries, and has been published in twenty-four languages.  The New York Times described it as “All-encompassing, brave, deeply humane… a book of remarkable depth, breadth and vitality… open-minded, critically informed and poetic all at the same time… fearless, and full of compassion.”In addition he recently conducted an exclusive interview with Peter Lanza, father of Adam Lanza, perpetrator of the Sandy Hook School shooting. It was published in The New Yorker and received an enermous amount of media coverage. In This Interview Andrew and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.Using work to make the world a better place.The urgent business of living a moral life.How to decide what we should change and what we should accept.How hope can become the cornerstone of misery.The challenges and joys of parenting disabled children.The perfectionism of privilege.The importance of the choice to celebrate what is versus wishing it to be different.How we can grow through difficult circumstances.The poison of comparison.The idea of the "psychological supermodel".Layering feelings of failure onto depression and how damaging that is.Learning to celebrate our difficulties and differences.A beautiful and hopeful reading on depression.How critical humor is in dealing with depressionNew approaches to treating depression.His ongoing challenges with depression and anxiety.The shame of mental illness.If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes.A life that is only luxury and pleasure tends to feel rather hollow and empty.How sparing our children from all adversity is a bad idea.The choices we face.How encounters with darkness give us the energy to feed our good wolf.Andrew Solomon LinksAndrew Solomon HomepageAndrew Solomon Amazon Author PageAndrew Solomon on TwitterAndrew Solomon on FacebookSome of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysRich RollTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

11 Maj 201434min

Matthew Quick

Matthew Quick

This week on The One You Feed we have Matthew Quick.Matthew Quick (aka Q) is the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook, which was made into an Oscar-winning film; The Good Luck of Right Now; and three young adult novels: Sorta Like a Rockstar ; BOY21; and Forgive me, Leonard Peacock  His work has been translated into thirty languages, received a PEN/Hemingway Award Honorable Mention, was an LA Times Book Prize finalist, a New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice, a #1 bestseller in Brazil, and selected by Nancy Pearl as one of Summer’s Best Books for NPR. Love May Fail will be published in 2015. All of his books have been optioned for film.In This Interview Matthew and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.The importance of the stories we tell ourselves and the stories we believe.Surrounding himself with people who help feed his good wolf.Growing up in a world where everyone told him he could never be a fiction writer.The Good Luck of Right Now.Working with the negative voices in our head.Synchronicity.Fiction writing as therapy.The line between positive thinking and delusion.Where the idea for the Silver Linings Playbook came from.Believing wildly in yourselfThe role of humor.His struggles with depression and anxiety.How hiding mental health conditions makes it worse.Polishing the bars of our prison.Matthew Quick LinksMatthew Quick HomepageMatthew Quick Amazon Author PageMatthew Quick on TwitterMatthew Quick on FacebookSome of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysRich RollTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

6 Maj 201439min

Joe Oestreich of Watershed

Joe Oestreich of Watershed

This week on The One You Feed we have Joe Oestreich.He is the author of the memoir, Hitless Wonder: A Life in Minor League Rock and Roll, which documents the twenty-five years he toured the country in a beat up Econoline as the bass player and co-singer for Columbus Ohio’s Watershed.His writing has appeared in Esquire, Sports Illustrated, Ninth Letter, Fourth Genre, and many other magazines. He's been awarded a fellowship from the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts, honored by The Atlantic Monthly, and shortlisted in The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2007, The Best American Essays 2008 and 2009, and The Pushcart Prize: Best of the Small Presses 2010 and 2014. He is now teach creative writing at Coastal Carolina University in Conway, SC, where he is the nonfiction editor of Waccamaw.In This Interview Joe and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.Getting the work done.Making time for your art.Taking selfishness too far.Working hard.How working hard is sometimes you the only thing you can change.Not being attached to external success.The work has to be it's own reward.The frustration of not seeing the success you want.That there has never been a better time to get your work in front of people.The support from his father.Watershed's legendary manager Biggie.Optimism versus fear.Opening for the Insane Clown Posse.His upcoming book.Joe Oestreich LinksJoe Oestreich homepageWatershed homepageBuy Hitless WonderSome of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysRich RollTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

30 Apr 201435min

Frank Turner

Frank Turner

This week on The One You Feed we have Frank Turner.This is a big episode for me. When I came up with the concept of the show, Frank Turner was the first person I thought of that I wanted to have as a guest. His music is hugely important to me. He feeds my good wolf on a regular basis.Frank was a singer in a hardcore band, Million Dead. When they broke up he started out on his own with an acoustic guitar. He has released  five solo albums, two rarities compilation albums, one split album and five EPs. His fifth studio album, Tape Deck Heart was released just over a year ago.In This Interview Frank and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.The feeling that there is never enough time.The importance of friendship in feeding your good wolf.His role as a CALM Ambassador.Building a community around music.What punk rock meant to him as a kid.Staying connected to his values of openness and community as he gets more famousMusic as a refuge for those that don't fit in.Music that he turns to to feed his good wolf.Writing the press release for John K Samson's latest record.The challenges of alcohol and drugs.Getting older and the changes in identity that come with that.His love of dogs and his amazing "dog policy" at showsHis forthcoming record.Frank Turner LinksFrank Turner HomepageBuy Frank Turner music on AmazonFrank Turner on TwitterSome of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysRich RollTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

22 Apr 201424min

Mini Episode- PItfalls of Positive Thinking

Mini Episode- PItfalls of Positive Thinking

"Positive thinking can look an awful lot like old-fashioned denial"Jessica Lamb-Shapiro In this mini-episode I'm discussing my ambivalence on positive thinking. I cover:- Our Jessica Lamb-Shapiro interview- One of my Favorite quotes- The Stockdale Paradox- My former boss-Striking a balanceSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

19 Apr 20145min

Jessica Lamb Shapiro

Jessica Lamb Shapiro

This week on The One You Feed we have Jessica Lamb-Shapiro.Jessica Lamb-Shapiro is the author of the book Promise Land: My Journey through America's Self-Help Culture. Jessica Lamb-Shapiro has published fiction and nonfiction in The Believer, McSweeney's, Open City, and Index magazine, among others. She has been a fellow at the MacDowell Colony and the New York Foundation for the Arts, and is a graduate of Brown (BA) and Columbia (MFA).We loved the great writing, the honest look at self-help, and the insights that she delivers. This was a really fun conversation that left us with a lot to think about.In This Interview Jessica and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.How positive thinking can become denial.The history of self-help stretching back to ancient Egypt.Using self-help terminology to avoid emotional intimacy.Challenges with the Law of Attraction.The paradox of self improvement: When should you accept yourself and when should you try to change.When is acceptance the right course and when is it settling?How cliches can become meaningless but yet still contain so much truth.Finally being able to talk about her mothers suicide.Growing up with a self-help author as a father.Jessica Lamb-Shapiro LinksJessica Lamb-Shapiro HomepageBuy Promise Land: My Journey through America's Self-Help CultureJessica on TwitterSome of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

15 Apr 201435min

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