Eric Barker: Success and Happiness

Eric Barker: Success and Happiness

This week we talk to Eric Barker Eric is a thought leader in the field of success. His humorous but practical blog, Barking up the Wrong Tree, presents science-based answers and expert insight on success in life. Over 270,000 people subscribe to his weekly email update and his content is syndicated by Time, The Week, and Business Insider. He has been featured in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Financial Times, and he was a columnist for Wired. With a writing career spanning over twenty years, Eric is also a sought-after speaker and interview subject and has been invited to speak at MIT, West Point, NPR affiliates, and on morning television. His first book, Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong is available now. In This Interview, Eric Barker and I Discuss... His book, Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong How he defines success Achievement, Happiness, Significance, Legacy The dangers of only using one metric for happiness How money is a lever to something else that makes you happy rather than the thing that makes you happy in and of itself There's no finish line in the quest of what makes me feel good We must decide what is "enough" New and novel make our brains happy We must decide what really is going to make us happy in the long run Turning what we do in our lives into games can be helpful in increasing our persistence and grit Games have these attributes: Winnable, Novelty, Goals, Instantaneous Feedback A feeling of progress and meaningful work keeps us engaged Challenging yourself in a familiar task True burnout is when you start to feel pessimistic about your job so you withdraw and then you get poor feedback so you finally disengage Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose A change is as good as a rest That we are telling ourselves stories about what's has meaning and what doesn't How telling your children about their lineage will increase the likelihood they stay away from drugs, stay in school etc Therapy as editing the story we're telling about our lives Cognitive reappraisal The role of positive self-talk I can do it vs I can't take this anymore If you break your arm you wouldn't say "I am broken" you'd say "My arm is broken" Listening to our thoughts from a distance and asking "is this useful?" to be more mindful about what thoughts we identify with We don't choose what makes us happy, we choose what's easy The role of a plan How anticipation is happiness Please Support The Show with a Donation m is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable. This parable goes by many names including: The Tale of Two Wolves The Parable of the Two Wolves Two Wolves Which Wolf Do You Feed Which Wolf are You Feeding Which Wolf Will You Feed It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

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How to Shift Your Emotions: Moving from Chaos to Clarity with Ethan Kross

How to Shift Your Emotions: Moving from Chaos to Clarity with Ethan Kross

In this episode, Dr. Ethan Kross discusses how to shift your emotions and move from chaos to clarity. Ethan delves into the complexities of emotions, challenging traditional views that label them as obstacles to overcome. Instead, he presents a fresh perspective, suggesting that emotions can be valuable tools when understood and managed effectively. This conversation explores how our thoughts often skew towards negativity and how conscious effort is required to cultivate a fulfilling life. Key Takeaways: 00:02:30 – Introduction to Dr. Ethan Kross and His Work 00:03:30 – The Parable of the Two Wolves 00:05:22 – Emotions as Valuable Companions 00:06:07 – The Complexity of Emotions 00:07:51 – No One-Size-Fits-All Solutions 00:10:21 – The Metaphor of Physical Fitness 00:12:25 – Variability in Emotional Tools 00:13:34 – The Complexity of Human Emotions 00:16:35 – The Control of Emotions 00:18:43 – The Serenity Prayer and Emotional Control 00:27:00 – The Role of Self-Experimentation 00:30:34 – Tools for Shifting Emotions 00:31:00 – Attention as a Tool 00:34:28 – The Role of Avoidance and Approach 00:38:12 – Perspective Shifting 00:44:11 – Shifting Your Environment 00:48:07 – Using Environmental Cues for Emotional Regulation For full show notes, click here! Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

7 Feb 1h 1min

How to Break the People-Pleasing Cycle and Set Healthy Boundaries with Terri Cole

How to Break the People-Pleasing Cycle and Set Healthy Boundaries with Terri Cole

In this episode, Terri Cole discusses how to break the people-pleasing cycle and set healthy boundaries. She explores the fine line between kindness and people- pleasing and how sometimes, what feels like generosity might actually be an attempt to control someone else’s reaction or avoid conflict altogether. Terri also explains why so many of us fall into this “peace at any cost” mentality and the toll it takes on us. She offers powerful tools to help us break free from that compulsion and get clear on what we’re really responsible for, and how to show up authentically in our relationships. Key Takeaways: 00:03:03 – Tending to the Shadow Side 00:04:12 – Finding Balance: Reacting vs. Responding 00:06:06 – The Resentment Inventory 00:10:04 – Taking Responsibility for Our Feelings 00:11:14 – Understanding Activation and Transference 00:15:43 – The Impact of Past Relationships 00:19:01 – Defining High Functioning Codependency 00:20:15 – Characteristics of High Functioning Codependents 00:26:38 – The Importance of Mindful Habit Changes 00:27:32 – Distinguishing Kindness from Codependency 00:29:04 – Questions to Differentiate Responsibility 00:34:48 – The Role of Boundaries in Relationships 00:37:01 – The Challenge of Letting Go 00:40:28 – The Power of Asking the Right Questions 00:43:41 – Conclusion: The Balance of Giving and Receiving For full show notes, click here! Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

4 Feb 59min

Unlocking Everyday Awesome: How to Find Joy in the Ordinary with Neil Pasricha

Unlocking Everyday Awesome: How to Find Joy in the Ordinary with Neil Pasricha

In this episode, Neil Pasricha explores the idea of unlocking every day awesome and how to find joy in the ordinary. Neil delves into the challenges of living in a mindset focused on problem-solving and the importance of recognizing the small joys in life. Neil emphasizes how appreciating simple pleasures—such as the sound of birds, the taste of coffee, or the feel of warm laundry—can help us break free from the cycle of constant task management. He shares practical tools for reclaiming our attention from distractions and encourages listeners to find happiness in the present moment. Key Takeaways: Understanding the importance of self-care in a world filled with distractions Being mindfully aware and finding small joys to learn to appreciate the present moment Engaging in gratitude practices, like writing down specific moments of appreciation, to enhance well-being Embracing the role of new experiences to foster personal growth and learning Learning to shift focus from what we lack to what we have to shift perspective and cultivate a mindset of appreciation For full show notes, click here! Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

31 Jan 1h 11min

Finding Joy in Your Relationship with Money with Elizabeth Husserl

Finding Joy in Your Relationship with Money with Elizabeth Husserl

In this episode, Elizabeth Husserl discusses how to find joy in our relationship with money. She explores the roots of scarcity thinking and how it fuels discontent. Elizabeth also shares specific strategies for cultivating a mindset of enough and offers insights into redefining wealth beyond just money.  Key Takeaways: Embracing the power of "Enough" and how this concept can transform your financial mindset Understanding the scarcity mindset and how to shift from scarcity to abundance Discovering the benefits of a satiation journal and the impact of gratitude through this practice Building a healthy relationship with money Uncover the keys to fostering a positive and sustainable connection with money for a more fulfilling life Exploring the interconnected nature of human needs and how fulfilling them can lead to greater satisfaction and financial fulfillment For full show notes, click here! Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

28 Jan 1h

The Power of Dignity and Building an Inclusive World with Tim Shriver

The Power of Dignity and Building an Inclusive World with Tim Shriver

In this episode, Tim Shriver discusses the power of dignity and building an inclusive world. Tim shares his experiences working with the Special Olympics, highlighting how the athletes embody resilience and hope, often thriving in the face of adversity. He also delves into the significance of inclusivity and how it can transform our communities, encouraging us to see the inherent dignity in every individual, regardless of their abilities or circumstances. Key Takeaways: Explore the benefits of building inclusive communities for a happier and more connected society Embrace the impact of intellectual disabilities on families and gain a deeper understanding of their experiences Navigate mental health and addiction recovery with valuable insights and support for a more empathetic approach Learn effective strategies for fostering dignity and respect, creating a more inclusive and supportive environment for all Understand the crucial role of relationships in personal happiness and well-being, and how to nurture them within your community For full show notes, click here! Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

24 Jan 56min

How to Thrive All Winter: Mindset Shifts for Beating the Cold and Dark with Kari Leibowitz

How to Thrive All Winter: Mindset Shifts for Beating the Cold and Dark with Kari Leibowitz

In this episode, Kari Leibowitz discusses how to thrive all winter with mindset shifts for beating the cold and dark. She shares her journey from being a winter hater to embracing the beauty of the season while living in Tromsø, Norway, a place known for its extreme winter conditions. Kari delves into the importance of attention and expectation in shaping our experiences, particularly in winter and emphasizes that our mindset can significantly influence how we perceive and interact with the world around us. Discover how we can shift our focus from the challenges of winter to embracing the beauty and unique joys of winter! Are you ready to create lasting change through small, intentional steps? The Wise Habits program combines behavioral science with timeless wisdom to help you build habits that bring clarity, calm, and resilience to your daily life. Over 6 transformative weeks, you’ll learn practical strategies to create a sustainable spiritual practice, better manage your emotions, and live in alignment with your values—all while staying grounded in the chaos of everyday life. Enrollment is open through January 25th, so don’t miss this opportunity to start your journey. Little by little, a little becomes a lot. Learn more and enroll here. Key Takeaways: Embracing winter challenges and mindset Insights from research conducted in Tromsø, Norway, regarding winter depression The role of expectations in shaping experiences of winter The concept of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and its complexities The importance of adaptation to seasonal changes. The interplay between comfort and challenge during winter The significance of social gatherings and their adaptation in winter The idea of “clearing the way” for beneficial mindsets and supportive conditions The relationship between mindset, reality, and individual perception For full show notes, click here! Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

21 Jan 58min

Healing Painful Patterns and Finding Freedom with Radhule Weininger

Healing Painful Patterns and Finding Freedom with Radhule Weininger

In this episode, Radhule Weininge discusses healing painful patterns and finding freedom. She delves into the intertwining of psychology and spirituality, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion and the role of mystery in the healing process. Dr. Weininger’s insights offer a unique perspective on addressing emotional wounds, highlighting the significance of awareness, patience, and resilience in the healing journey. Are you ready to create lasting change through small, intentional steps? The Wise Habits program combines behavioral science with timeless wisdom to help you build habits that bring clarity, calm, and resilience to your daily life. Over 6 transformative weeks, you’ll learn practical strategies to create a sustainable spiritual practice, better manage your emotions, and live in alignment with your values—all while staying grounded in the chaos of everyday life. Enrollment is open through January 25th, so don’t miss this opportunity to start your journey. Little by little, a little becomes a lot. Learn more and enroll here. Key Takeaways: Discover the path to healing psychological and spiritual wounds for inner peace and growth Uncover the key to understanding traumatic patterns in life for breaking free from recurring challenges Embrace the power of mindfulness for heightened self-awareness and emotional balance Cultivate self-compassion as a vital tool for healing and transforming psychological wounds Explore the fascinating mystery of interconnectedness and its impact on personal healing and growth. For full show notes, click here! Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

17 Jan 55min

The Power of Silence: Wisdom on Stillness and Solitude with Pico Iyer

The Power of Silence: Wisdom on Stillness and Solitude with Pico Iyer

Are you ready to create lasting change through small, intentional steps? The Wise Habits program combines behavioral science with timeless wisdom to help you build habits that bring clarity, calm, and resilience to your daily life. Over 6 transformative weeks, you’ll learn practical strategies to create a sustainable spiritual practice, better manage your emotions, and live in alignment with your values—all while staying grounded in the chaos of everyday life. Enrollment is open through January 25th, so don’t miss this opportunity to start your journey. Little by little, a little becomes a lot. Learn more and enroll here. In this episode, Pico Iyer discusses the power of silence and offers insights and wisdom on stillness and solitude. Pico delves into the impact of silence on mental health and offers his deep understanding of the transformative effects of solitude in the pursuit of personal growth. Key Takeaways: Embrace the power of silence to unlock personal growth and inner peace. Discover the pathway to joy through contemplative practices in your daily life. Explore the profound impact of solitude on your mental well-being and clarity of thought. Uncover the spiritual journey of Leonard Cohen and its relevance to personal growth. Learn to balance hope with reality in facing life’s challenges for enhanced mental well-being. For full show notes, click here! Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

14 Jan 57min

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