Psychological Defenses: How to Understand (and change) Your Mind and Behavior

Psychological Defenses: How to Understand (and change) Your Mind and Behavior

Psychological defenses are subconscious strategies we use to protect ourselves from uncomfortable emotions, and they exert a hidden power over our behavior. From denial and repression to projection and rationalization, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how these defenses shape our actions, influence our relationships, and affect our overall well-being. They start with the function and structure of most defenses, before giving a few simple examples. Rick then dives into the role of defenses in psychoanalytic theory, their role in managing self-worth and shame, and what we can do to become less defensive over time. They close with practical strategies for working with our defenses, including a brief discussion of what we can do to help other people with their defenses. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:30: Psychological and historical factors influencing psychological defensiveness 8:00: Some examples of unconscious anxiety bubbling up 12:00: Repression, regression, projection, reaction formation, and sublimation 16:55: An overview of Freud’s developmental model of the personality 24:10: A few examples of how our defenses manifest 33:40: Consciousness, competence, and joining the defense 44:00: Navigating shame and guilt 50:15: Distress tolerance 57:15: Social connection, and finding healthy outlets 1:00:20: When and how to approach others about their defensiveness 1:10:45: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Ep. 24: Managing Your Inner Critic

Ep. 24: Managing Your Inner Critic

There are two “characters” we all have inside our minds: an inner critic and an inner nurturer. Dr. Hanson and Forrest focus on how we can manage our inner critic while building up a strong inner nurturer. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:40: What is an inner critic and an inner nurturer? 2:15: Do we have these voices in balance? 4:30: 3 things we can do to limit the influence of the inner critic. 7:55: Balancing too much and too little criticism. 10:00: What value can we take from the inner critic? 11:50: The experience of a child. 14:15: Building up your inner nurturer. 17:20: What the inner nurturer feels like. 19:00: How we feel inside vs. how we act towards others. 20:30: How to stop the inner critic before it gets going. 24:00: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Juni 201826min

BONUS: Paul Gilbert on Confidence

BONUS: Paul Gilbert on Confidence

On today’s episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Hanson interviews Dr. Paul Gilbert, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Darby and the founder of compassion focused therapy. They explore how we can grow a healthy sense of self-worth, be honest without being critical, and stop undermining our own confidence. The content of today's episode was taken from Dr. Hanson's online course, The Foundations of Well-Being. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Juni 20181h 10min

Ep. 23: Stop Punishing Yourself

Ep. 23: Stop Punishing Yourself

Our negative reactions to the painful experiences of life that are often more harmful than those experiences themselves. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can avoid these “second darts." If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:40: What are the first and second darts? 2:50: An example of first and second darts. 5:15: Finding where you have influence. 7:15: Avoiding adding second darts. 12:30: Not fueling second darts. 15:00: Changing the channel on second darts. 15:50: Managing second darts in relationships. 18:55: Sticking to first darts when communicating. 21:10: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Juni 201824min

Ep. 22: Secure and Insecure Attachment

Ep. 22: Secure and Insecure Attachment

Attachment Theory is one of the most important frameworks in psychology. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore why this theory is so relevant for everyday life, and how adults who may have had challenging childhood relationships can become more securely attached in the here and now. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:00: The spectrum of confidence. 2:10: How does confidence “get into” the brain? 4:30: Learning confidence. 5:45: Why do we care so much about the opinions of other people? 10:30: The link between social and physical pain. 12:45: Secure and insecure attachment. 20:00: Attaching differently to different kinds of people. 23:50: How to become more securely attached. 30:30: Why does creating a coherent narrative help us become more securely attached? 35:50: Being someone others can securely attach to. 40:40: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Juni 201843min

Ep. 21: How to Be Happy for Other People

Ep. 21: How to Be Happy for Other People

There is one form of happiness that is always available: happiness for others. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how feelings of altruistic joy can be a powerful antidote for experiences of disappointment and envy. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:30: Why is happiness for others such a reliable resource? 1:20: Why is feeling happy for others good for us? 3:15: Finding happiness for difficult people. 5:40: Mending relationships through happiness for others. 7:50: The naturalness of envy and jealousy. 12:15: Letting people land. 17:05: Working through blocks to altruistic joy. 22:15: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

28 Maj 201824min

Ep. 19: Take in the Good

Ep. 19: Take in the Good

So many good things happen to us that we don't take the time to fully take in. Dr. Hanson and Forrest look at the role fully taking in the good things in life has in the process of building mental strengths. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:20: Why focus on taking pleasure. 1:45: The many little opportunities to take pleasure. 4:05: The psychological benefits of pleasure. 6:50: Why do so many people struggle with taking pleasure? 9:45: Consumption vs. appreciation 13:00: How can we get better at taking pleasure? 16:00: Finding pleasure through relating. 19:30: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Maj 201822min

Ep. 18: Why Gratitude Is a Gift to Yourself

Ep. 18: Why Gratitude Is a Gift to Yourself

We think of gratitude as a gift to others, but it's often a wonderful gift to ourselves. Dr. Hanson and Forrest move on to the fifth of the twelve strengths they’ll be covering during this series: Gratitude. During this episode they explore the role of positive emotions generally, and particularly the value of “thankfulness.” If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:00: Why use “gratitude” as a blanket term for positive emotions? 1:45: What benefits do positive emotions have for mental health? 5:55: Why did you choose to focus your work on increasing positive experiences rather than reducing negative ones? 8:15: What are the psychological benefits of “thankfulness?” 12:20: Critiques of telling people to ‘just be grateful for what they have.’ 17:00: Dealing with blocks to thankfulness. 23:30: How can we become more thankful? 28:25: Using gratitude to move into agency. 31:00: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Maj 201832min

Ep. 20: Forming a Healthy Relationship with Goals

Ep. 20: Forming a Healthy Relationship with Goals

How can we set and stick to our goals without getting overly attached to them or punishing ourselves if we backslide? Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can feel more successful by noticing the many small goals we accomplish each day, and fully internalizing that experience so it becomes a lasting resource. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:50: Why is having a healthy relationship with our goals so important for mental health? 4:30: How can we achieve a more healthy relationship with our goals? 6:35: The social pressures that help us feel unsuccessful. 8:30: What are process goals? 9:55: What are outcome goals? 10:20: The many opportunities to meet our goals. 11:40: Hacking the natural pleasure systems in the brain. 14:25: If we have so many opportunities to experience success, why don’t we? 17:50: What about when we aren’t successful? How can we better manage those feelings of failure? 21:30: Risking the “dreaded experience.” 24:30: Isn’t the fear of failure really motivating though? 29:50: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Maj 201832min

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