The S.T.A.R.S. Framework for Coming Out as a Later-in-Life Lesbian (with Kari DeWitt)

💡 Guest bio

Kari comes from a conservative background, with her father being a Baptist preacher and a long family history of preachers. She has been married three times and has five children, constantly questioning if the problem lies within her. At the age of 39, a family tragedy shook her and made her reevaluate her life. Feeling stuck and unhappy, she asked for a divorce in 2016 and started afresh. It was during this time that she realized she was not straight, which explained the troubles in her previous marriages. This discovery led her on a journey of self-discovery and she started coaching and supporting other late bloomers like herself. Coming out in 2018, she initially thought she was the only one with a delayed coming out, but she soon connected with other individuals who had similar experiences. Kari started a Facebook support group for late bloomers, which now boasts over 7600 members. This journey also helped Kari with her own personal development, allowing her to overcome shame and guilt and be comfortable sharing her story. She is currently writing a book to inspire others and let them know that they are not alone, advocating for everyone to embrace their true selves.

ℹ️ Introduction

Welcome back to another episode of Lesbi-Honest! I'm your host, Sarah St John, and today we have a fabulous guest joining us, Kari. Get ready for an inspiring and heartfelt conversation as Kari shares their journey of self-discovery, acceptance, and embracing their true identity as a lesbian. They open up about the supportive and unsupportive reactions they've received from within the LGBTQIA community, their boundaries with people who hold beliefs against their community, and the importance of not conforming to societal expectations. We'll also delve into their personal experiences, from their late bloomer realization to their journey toward self-acceptance and the intersection of religion and queerness. Stay tuned as Kari takes us through their inspiring story, filled with triumphs, personal growth, and the importance of living one's authentic truth. Let's dive right in!

❇️ Key topics and bullets

- Challenges of accepting one's true self in the LGBTQ+ community:

- Both supportive and unsupportive reactions from the LGBTQ+ community

- Doubt and disbelief from girlfriends due to past relationships with men

- Confrontations with straight religious individuals who are not accepting

- Setting boundaries with people who hold beliefs against the LGBTQ+ community

- Not being responsible for changing others' beliefs

- Surprise at others feeling entitled to label and judge others for their identity

- Awakening of understanding and acceptance in 2020

- Pushing boundaries of personal expression and breaking societal expectations:

- Importance of exploring and pushing boundaries

- Encouragement to draw one's own lines and not conform

- Joy of exploring new experiences and trying different styles

- Prioritizing personal satisfaction over external opinions

- Seeking validation and self-awareness in breaking free from codependency:

- Reflecting on seeking validation from others

- Need for self-awareness and healing

- Embracing eccentricity and enjoying attention

- Late bloomers and societal expectations:

- Impact of societal programming on understanding and accepting oneself

- Difficulties faced by those who realize their LGBTQ+ identity later in life

- Feeling mislabeled and uncertainty about how others label them

- Journey toward self-acceptance and embracing true identity:

- Denial, guilt, shame, and fear of accepting attraction to women

- Influence of meeting an authentic and inspiring woman

- Rejection of societal expectations and embracing...