082: Wendy Behary on Working with Narcissism

When working with clients in therapy I often wonder if someone might be displaying aspects of narcissism. I often question myself and my reality. It is important to realize that partner of people with narcissism feel this way all the time. The following is from Wendy Behary's website:

Typically, narcissists display ten of the following thirteen traits:

1. Self-absorbed – Acts like everything is all about him or her
2. Entitled – Makes the rules; breaks the rules
3. Demeaning – Puts you down, bullyish
4. Demanding – of whatever he or she wants
5. Distrustful – Suspicious of your motives when you're being nice to him or her
6. Perfectionistic – Rigidly high standards – his or her way or no way
7. Snobbish – Believes he or she is superior to you and others; gets bored easily
8. Approval seeking – Craves constant praise and recognition
9. Unempathic- Uninterested in understanding your inner experience or unable to do so
10. Unremorseful – Cannot offer a genuine apology
11. Compulsive – Gets overly consumed with details and minutiae
12. Addictive – Cannot let go of bad habits; uses them to self soothe
13. Emotionally detached – Steers clear of feeling

Wendy Behary is a leader in working with people with narcissism. She is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She wrote the book Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed.

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Find more resources for working with narcissism at disarmingthenarcissist.com

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