Episode 68: HA HA I HAVE A HUGE DICK with the very thoughtful Blake

Episode 68: HA HA I HAVE A HUGE DICK with the very thoughtful Blake

Let's talk about gender and biosex and sex assigned at birth and anatomy and surgery and language. In this episode Blake, FTM, and I a ciswoman pull apart what we experience on a day to day basis to develop a better world for the future. For part of the episode I go through the criteria of gender dysphoria as outlined in the DSM 5. Here there are if you'd like to follow along: In adolescents and adults gender dysphoria diagnosis involves a difference between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, and significant distress or problems functioning. It lasts at least six months and is shown by at least two of the following: 1. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics 2. A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics 3. A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender 4. A strong desire to be of the other gender 5. A strong desire to be treated as the other gender 6. A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender Why does Blake identify as FTM rather than a transman? "While I’m not offended if someone refers to me as a transman, I prefer to say I’m FTM, or a female-to-male trans person. The main reason is that the term FTM just feels correct. It sounds right when I say it. It feels authentic. I don’t get that “it fits” feeling with transman, non-binary, or any other gendery word. However, it’s okay if my experience seems familiar to you and you do use a different term than I do. Or if you’re FTm and your experience is nothing like mine. We’re equally valid. I just know what fits for me. I don’t feel that my gender is particularly “man”, and I struggle to relate to most men, cis or trans. I know that I get the “it fits” feeling with my current name, Blake, but not with my birth name. He/him/his pronouns fit too. They/them doesn’t bother me, but doesn’t feel as correct as he/him. Being called she/her causes me pain. When I had breasts, I knew that I’d feel more correct without them, so I removed them, and I do indeed feel more at home in my own body now. I was similarly confident about not wanting my uterus and ovaries. I have mixed feelings about the idea of having/obtaining a penis. I rarely feel pain/dysphoria when I see my own genitalia, but I do wish that I didn’t have to worry about having this genitalia - I wish men’s bathrooms had more stalls, I wish my genitals weren’t remarkable or confusing to doctors or potential sexual partners, but I don’t hate having a vulva. I’m not always comfortable with other people interacting with it, though I often am, but I find that the most emotionally fulfilling sex for me involves me penetrating another person with a “realistic” phallus. It’s how I feel most sexually fulfilled, even if that means my genitals aren’t stimulated by another person and/or I don’t have an orgasm. But having a penis 24/7 seems really inconvenient, honestly, and I don’t like the feeling of wearing a packer. I like the look of a bulge on me, but not enough to wear a packer. I like that I was “born female” and I wouldn’t change it. I like using a term that has female in it. I am thankful to have been raised as a girl. I didn’t feel like anything but a girl, until I realized that I’d never thought about it. But by then, I’d spent 18 years avoiding boys. Boys were mean to me. Men scare me. So using a term with “man” in it feels less authentic, and I don’t want to be them or be like them. Manhood isn’t appealing to me, even though much of “male”-ness feels essential to me."

Avsnitt(94)

Episode 38: MEET MY SEX POSITIVE MOM featuring Tara Lynn

Episode 38: MEET MY SEX POSITIVE MOM featuring Tara Lynn

Among the many influential people and experiences in my life, my mother has been responsible for a great deal of the permission I've had to be exactly who I am. She instilled me a belief that it's okay to call out sexual abuse, to express my passion for sex, and to be sex curious. I asked her to recount with me my childhood and the memories I have of how my sexuality development during those formative years. We discussed sex education in school, sex before marriage, dating, sexual harassment, career choices, and the playfulness of our household. New word: disturbation. Sextra credit: Call your mother or a similar relative and have a discussion about sex. Ask them if they want to do Kegels together or listen to this episode of the Sexplanations Podcast. Some of the things my mom has shared with me on Facebook: https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-ancient-greek-sculptures-small-penises?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=sm-editorial-evergreen&utm_content=fb-1-why-ancient-greek-sculptures-have-small-penises https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3s2qyLdg7c https://www.mimibazar.sk/recept.php?id=36763

17 Mars 201835min

Episode 37: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM YOURSELF featuring Princess

Episode 37: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM YOURSELF featuring Princess

Last year I met charismatic wonder woman on the plane returning to Missoula named Princess. We both had similar fast-friends personalities and joie de vivre so a year into our friendship I asked her to be on the Sexplanations podcast and talk about mania with me. How do we as passion people navigate the ups and downs? Where do we find stability? How do hormones play a role in the destruction of love, or is it not that at all? What would we tell our past selves? Are we bigger fans of penetration or vibration? Thoughts on oral sex? Thoughts on being single? We discuss fantasies about veins and water masturbation. We discuss friendship and romance and sex. That's what you're here for, right? Sextra Credit: Identify unhealthy manic behaviors and contemplate how you want to turn them into positive behaviors. If you don't have mania in your life, do an evaluation of mania in songs or films.

11 Mars 201848min

Episode 36: I LIKE THE LOVESICK with green-suit Dustin

Episode 36: I LIKE THE LOVESICK with green-suit Dustin

Dustin and I met on a rideshare and talked about love and relationships on that drive together. Then he spoke on a panel in my human sexuality class, photographed me for a calendar, and acted out 30 orgasmic sex positions in a green-suit for a Sexplanations episode. The two of us have a very playful connection and I wanted that for today's podcast on love. Going through an 18-question assessment of love styles, Dustin and I talk about passion, romance, dating, honesty, and intimacy. Sextra Credit: Take the love style test yourself

4 Mars 201845min

Episode 35: THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT MOST SEX ACTS with Mick of Valid

Episode 35: THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT MOST SEX ACTS with Mick of Valid

Learn at least one new sex term for each letter of the alphabet, all about tucking technologies, the history of A. Mick, a co-founder of polyamorous programming in Montana, and now founder of an undergarment company goes through every letter of the alphabet from Z to A sexology-style. This episode of the podcast is based on this episode of the Sexplanations channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9dAOeblsA0&t Sextra Credit: Journal about your relationship to gender and body hair. To support the podcast go to patreon.com/sexplanationspodcast

27 Feb 201849min

Episode 34: IT’S LIKE BIRTH CONTROL FOR HIV with prevention educator Jennie Zundel

Episode 34: IT’S LIKE BIRTH CONTROL FOR HIV with prevention educator Jennie Zundel

On the Sexplanations YouTube channel there are three episodes about HIV which I’m really proud of. As someone who served as the the HIV prevention coordinator of an AIDS council doing what I can to encourage that people get tested and protect themselves is important to me. To revisit those episodes on the podcast I invited Jennie who does a version now of what I did ten years. She walks us through the latest on prevention, discusses some of the misinformation still being passed around, and gives us a quiz on our knowledge of the virus. Note at one point she refers to an activist named Kerry Washington. She meant Kerry Thomas. Thanks for staying curious with us on the Sexplanations, I’m still learning.

19 Feb 201840min

Episode 33: I REMEMBER WHEN SEXPLANATIONS STARTED introducing our sound engineer Callie

Episode 33: I REMEMBER WHEN SEXPLANATIONS STARTED introducing our sound engineer Callie

Callie does all the recording and editing of the Sexplanations Podcast and does it well. I'm pleased to sit down with her in the studio and record our getting to know each other, to have a none work conversation about allies, orientations, sex education, religion, love, and elevator Kegels. Turns out Callie is a sex-positive Ravenclaw with a great outlook on romantic relationships and a strong value for personal choice -- my kind of person. To support Callie and me in making this show possible please consider going to Patreon.com/sexplanationspodcast and checking out cool perks. Sextra Credit: List 10 identities that you have. Here are 10 of mine: ENFP, Gryffindor, Yellow on the Color Code, Nerdfighter, Faculty Brat, Mom, Educator, Clinical Sexologist, Doctor of Human Sexuality, YouTuber

9 Feb 201844min

Episode 32: NEVER WORRIED ABOUT YOUR ETERNAL DAMNATION with my chosen sister Jamie

Episode 32: NEVER WORRIED ABOUT YOUR ETERNAL DAMNATION with my chosen sister Jamie

The fact is the audience of Sexplanations has consistently been amazing. When we started fundraising for the show, to create something sustainable, you were onboard right away to see that this never had to be a financial or professional burden for me. Jamie who is today's co-host and I witnessed from the beginning your outpour of support and generosity. We cheered for you as you cheered for us. We built care packages for you together and organized your messages and questions so we could show our gratitude. So I wanted to talk to Jamie about what it's been like to create the funding side of the show, how it's changed over the last four years, how I've changed. We also discuss Jamie's relationship to sexuality, the religious conflicts with sex before marriage, cognitive dissonance, and the value of prioritizing our sex lives so we have passion and knowledge to share with others. Sextra credit: Give money -- patreon.com/sexplanations ;oD Be kind yourself. Take a bath, squirt something like beet juice into the tub for every shame you can think of, and then drain the tub and let the shame wash away. Urinate shame too! **There's a clicking sound during the replay of the Sexplanations YouTueb episode, that's because there's a timer counting how many hours go into each portion of creating the show.

3 Feb 201847min

Episode 31: IF IT'S COMING FROM ALL DIRECTIONS starring my long-time crush Jeff

Episode 31: IF IT'S COMING FROM ALL DIRECTIONS starring my long-time crush Jeff

Description: The topic is pulling out --withdrawing the penis before ejaculation -- but the take-home message Jeff wants you to have is "don't fuck Trump supporters!" We discuss our best and worst experiences, bukkake snorkeling, "getting caught", and responsible lessons on STI prevention. SEXTRA CREDIT: In the coming week help your partner get off or get yourself off as often as you can. Identify the point of no return and the length of time until climax.

30 Jan 201843min

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