109. Why are we so hard on ourselves?

109. Why are we so hard on ourselves?

So often in life, we are our own worst enemies. The meanest and loudest voice in our head is our own. So why are we so hard on ourselves? In this episode we break down the psychological underpinnings behind our inner critic, from the proposed evolutionary role of negative self talk, to the influence of our upbringing including the distinction between conditional and unconditional positive regard, parental expectations and childhood bullying. We examine how social comparison and overthinking can contribute to a poor self perception but, also, how we can adopt the methods of radical self compassion and cognitive diffusion to silence that inner voice and be free from self judgement. Listen now!

Patreon: https://patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s

Harvard Business Review article: https://hbr.org/2021/05/stop-being-so-hard-on-yourself

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en&__coig_restricted=1

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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359. How to TRULY detach

359. How to TRULY detach

We can be so fixed on a job, a person, an outcome that we fuse our identity to it – and, crucially, forget that we’re okay without it. In today’s bonus episode, we unpack detachment: why we cling so t...

29 Nov 202527min

358. Why you should decentre romance in your 20s

358. Why you should decentre romance in your 20s

There is a huge emphasis on treating romance as the main marker of a successful life – from questions from family, to seemingly perfect online couples – it’s hard to believe anything else when society...

28 Nov 202535min

357. Why do we doomspend?

357. Why do we doomspend?

We’ve all been there - telling ourselves that ‘life is short’ as we click add to cart. Whether it’s an expensive dinner, a holiday you can’t quite afford, or another ‘little treat’, doom spending has ...

25 Nov 202534min

356. How to survive a breakup in your 20s

356. How to survive a breakup in your 20s

Going through a breakup is always going to be devastating. Heartbreak is one of the most gut-wrenching human experiences: it affects our brain, our body, our routines, our identity, and our sense of t...

21 Nov 202546min

355. Why don't I enjoy sex that much?

355. Why don't I enjoy sex that much?

Our 20s are sold to us as the decade of peak desire - full of passion, spontaneity, and effortless intimacy. But for so many of us, that isn’t the reality. When libido dips or fluctuates, it can feel ...

18 Nov 202534min

354. How to break a toxic habit

354. How to break a toxic habit

We all have habits we wish we could change - patterns we repeat even when we know they’re hurting us. So why is it so hard to stop? In this episode, we explore the psychology behind toxic habits. How ...

16 Nov 202534min

353. The psychology of perfectionism

353. The psychology of perfectionism

We’ve all heard someone say, “I’m such a perfectionist”, like it’s a badge of honour. But what does perfectionism really mean - and what’s hiding beneath it? In today’s bonus episode, we unpack the ps...

13 Nov 202527min

352. How to deal with someone who is ALWAYS the victim

352. How to deal with someone who is ALWAYS the victim

Have you ever met someone who always seems to see themselves as the one who’s been wronged - or maybe noticed that pattern in yourself? The sense that life is happening to you, not for you? It might n...

10 Nov 202542min

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