113. Forgiving yourself for past mistakes

We have all had that experience of feeling bored with our everyday life, whereby we look around and our daily experiences have lost some of the colour and excitement. Why is that the case? Psychology can provide some explanations including:  A lack of novelty and new experiences Seasonal affective disorder  Overstimulation from our phones and social media  Social comparison  The benefits of a dopamine detox We discuss all these reasons and more, as well as what we can do to change that! How can we break out of this boredom cycle and feel like our lives and everyday experiences are meaningful by embracing the beauty of an anti-routine, challenging ourselves to try new things once a week, keeping ourselves open to opportunities (even ones that are scary) or even trying a dopamine detox. Listen now for when life feels boring! Follow us on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Our Patreon if you want to support the show: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

3 Okt 202332min

On today's episode we bring on the wonderful, Katy Bellotte, to discuss everything love, dating and relationship in our 20s. We discuss what it feels like to have never had a relationship in your 20s, the milestone anxiety and societal pressure that makes us to feel like we need to settle for someone we're not fully committed to, feeling behind and what it feels like to finally find the one. Katy also talks moving to New York City, what it's like to live your life online and managing expectations around social media. Listen now!  Follow Katy: https://www.instagram.com/katybellotte/?hl=en  Follow The Psychology of your 20s: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

29 Sep 202349min

We all know the feeling of oversharing at a party or work function and feeling the sting of embarrassment and shame the next day. So why do we feel the need to overshare with others, even though it has emotional and mental consequences? In this episode we explore the psychology of oversharing, from the difference between trauma dumping and authenticity, why oversharing soothes our social anxiety or can be used subconsciously to fast-track a relationship. We also discuss the links to ADHD and the emotional aftermath, particularly the experience of a 'vulnerability hangover', as well as my 5 key tips to stop oversharing. Listen now.  Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

26 Sep 202336min

One of the hardest dilemmas we have to face is when it's time to walk away from someone you still love because you know the relationship isn’t right for you. We can often find ourselves stuck in a constant battle between knowing what is right, and what our heart wants us to do. In this episode we break down the five key signs its time to walk away, particularly for those of us in our 20s, and why these reasons matter the most, exploring ideas of:  Fatal Attraction Theory The biology behind our 'gut instinct'  The Reciprocity Principle  Equity Theory  Sunk costs  Expectant thinking  Fear of being lonely or of the unknown We also explore why we find it so difficult, the reasons that hold us back, including as the stigma around being the one to initiate the breakup and feeling like a failure for your relationship not working out.  You should not be with someone who is not adding to your life in your 20s. This is your time to be your own person, to prioritise exactly what is going to make YOU happy, not stay out of obligation or because of fear, family pressure or expectations. Is this the life you want, with this person? Are they making you the best version of yourself? Are they making you happy? Why don’t you deserve someone who does, even if it takes a while and is a bit scary.  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Resources:  https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/helplines/  https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

22 Sep 202338min

This is a question I have been asking myself a lot recently as someone who is VERY invested in the self-help space. Have we reached a point where we are too aware of our problems, faults, thoughts, actions and behaviours? Self awareness can free us from so many mental restrictions, it allows us to make better decisions, be a better friend, a better person, invest in our dreams and values. But at some point, we can reach a stage where we are too invested in self-reflection and introspection that it interrupts our enjoyment of the moment, can isolate us or even result in obsessive overthinking and rumination. In this episode we explore what it means to be self-aware and how online self help content might be causing us more harm than good. Listen now.  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Consider supporting me on Patreon if you enjoy my content: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

19 Sep 202337min

Many of us battle with a deep-rooted fear and anxiety that those we love will leave us. Maybe we have been hurt in a past relationship, or witnessed a messy divorce or the passing of ones we love and we have unconsciously learned to associated vulnerability, intimacy and love with pain and disappointment. This fear of abandonment can cause us to sabotage otherwise perfectly healthy relationships or to push people away out of an irrational fear they will leave us, only to end up just as alone as if they had. In this episode we explore the following:  What is the root cause of the fear of abandonment? The different types of abandonment reactions - the saboteur, the clingy, the avoidant and the serial dater  Links to codependency and emotional unavailability  How to heal our abandonment wounds  We all want to accept others into out lives and trust the people we love will stay by our side so if you're struggling with an irrational fear or anxiety of abandonment, listen now.  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  If you enjoy this content, please consider subscribing to my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

15 Sep 202346min

The new reality of dating in your 20s is that the majority of us who are single are on the dating apps. Tinder, Hinge and Bumble have completely changed how we approach dating by expanding our options, making dating convenient and accessible and are increasingly becoming the way many of us meet our partners. A study conducted by the Pew Research Centre found that almost half of us between 18 and 29 have used a dating app. Yet, this has also transformed a lot of our offline behaviours towards dating. In this episode we break down the psychology behind dating apps including:  The impact of choice overload The psychology behind our romantic preferences  The scarcity effect  Seeking validation through dating apps Dopamine and swipe based dating  Dealing with rejection and dating app burnout  We are also joined by the wonderful Lucille McCart from Bumble who discusses how we can use dating apps to their full potential in our 20s. She explains how we can convert our online matches into real world connections, why you should be the one asking people on dates and the benefit dating people outside of your 'type'. All of that a more. Listen now.  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

11 Sep 202354min

A lot of us in our 20s feel the urge to upend everything and move to a new city - maybe for work, for a partner or just for the pure adventure of a new experience and environment. So in this episode we're going to break down why our 20s are perhaps the best time to make this major life change, from the lack of external responsibilities to the psychological benefits it brings, including self reflection, promoting a growth mindset and realising our ideal selves. We'll also explore why the urge to move to a new city really reflects our innate novelty seeking behaviour and why some people, the so called 'serial movers', can never seem to stay in one place for long. And finally, what are some of the practical ways we can actually do this and build community, maintain financial security, avoid feeling isolated? And what exactly is the so-called '6 month' rule? All of that and more, listen now!  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

8 Sep 202340min