William Ury - Practicing Spaciousness and Empathy for Conflict Mediation

William Ury - Practicing Spaciousness and Empathy for Conflict Mediation

"The single biggest block to getting a yes in any kind of conflict is yourself,” says author and expert negotiator William Ury.

In this episode, William Ury shares his expertise in demonstrating spaciousness and empathy in conflict-laden situations, mediation as an intrapersonal exercise, and dissecting trauma in an unsettled society.

▶️ Practicing Spaciousness and Empathy for Conflict Mediation with William Ury


Key Points to Discover:


✔️ Practice the palm pinching technique. Standing in the middle of conflict can be terrifying. Step back and find perspective within by pinching your palm. “It gives you momentary pain, but it’ll keep you alert,” William Ury retells.


✔️Befriend your emotions. Trauma brings about emotions we perceive as negative – such as anger, resentment, jealousy, hatred, and fear.


William Ury says, “Befriend these emotions. Welcome them. Don’t judge them. Host them. Don’t suppress them.” Every emotion contains a message. If we’re open and paying attention, we can better understand it.


✔️ Conflicts have three sides. The third side is called the whole – the larger community to which the two parties belong. “It’s not a conflict between individual A and individual B. It’s a collective,” he explains. This unseen side holds a huge responsibility to mediate and gather the two parties to reach a resolution.


✔️ Empathy requires putting yourself in your own shoes. It’s hard to put yourself in others’ shoes when you have preconceived ideas about them.


Be in a place of clarity and gather as much information as you can about the conflicts you witness. This is where real and deep empathy begins.


✔️ The absent parts of ourselves are filled with the past. When we aren’t fully integrated with the painful experiences of others, it blocks us from developing genuine empathy, and we might instead find that we’re filled with fear, physical tension, and numbness. Healing from intergenerational trauma requires us to feel the fears of our ancestors – merging them into our present flow. This allows us to cultivate greater empathy for the people in our lives.


✔️ Mediation means seeing a way forward. Finding the way forward in conflict calls for inner spaciousness. As a mediator, William Ury recommends taking a step back and viewing the situation from what he calls “going to the balcony” - a removed position from which we can be more present, empathetic, and objective. Take off the blinders of your own biases and see the larger picture.


---------------


William Ury is one of the world’s leading experts on negotiation and mediation. As the co-founder of the Program on Negotiation, he is a driving force behind many new negotiation theories and practices. Ury is the co-author with Roger Fisher and Bruce Patton of Getting to Yes, a 15-million-copy bestseller translated into more than 35 languages, and the author of several other books including the award-winning Getting to Yes with Yourself.


Over the last four decades, Ury has served as a negotiation advisor and mediator in conflicts ranging from the Cold War to ethnic and civil wars in the Middle East, Chechnya, Yugoslavia, and most recently in Colombia, where he serves as a senior advisor to President Juan Manuel Santos. In addition to teaching negotiation and mediation to tens of thousands of executives, Ury is the founder of the Abraham Path Initiative, which seeks to bring people together across cultures by opening a long-distance walking route in the Middle East that retraces the footsteps of Abraham and his family. In recognition of his work, he has received the Cloke-Millen Peacemaker Award, the Whitney North Seymour Award from the American Arbitration Association, and the Distinguished Service Medal from the Russian...

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Debbie Levin | Green Media and Personal Environmentalism

Debbie Levin | Green Media and Personal Environmentalism

Thomas is joined by Debbie Levin, CEO of the Environmental Media Association, to discuss the role of media in shaping sustainability consciousness and how to effectively communicate about environmental issues.Debbie shares the importance of being gracious and non-judgmental when sharing knowledge on how to live a healthy, clean, and sustainable life. She explains how her organization has successfully leveraged celebrities’ platforms to spread awareness on crucial environmental issues and how the “Emma Green Seal” has influenced TV and movie productions to operate more sustainably.She and Thomas also explore the impact of the LA fires on both the entertainment industry and the larger climate change dialogue. This conversation covers a range of pressing environmental issues, but ultimately concludes on a note of hopefulness–that we all want our families and loved ones to be safe and healthy, and we can make a difference by starting from that common ground.Click here to watch the video version of this episode on YouTube:👉 https://youtu.be/mwrY4IqkiFETake our listener survey! We'd love your feedback on which topics and guests are resonating with you and which ones you'd like to hear more about in the future:👉 https://forms.gle/uoygyKMmHeUHeJFD9 ✨ Sign up for updates by visiting our website: 👉 https://pointofrelationpodcast.com Debbie Levin is the CEO of the Environmental Media Association (EMA), where she has spent over two decades leveraging the power of entertainment to drive environmental change. Under her leadership, EMA has launched initiatives like the EMA Green Seal for sustainable productions and EMA IMPACT, establishing the organization as a leading voice in sustainability within the entertainment industry.Learn more about Debbie's work here: 👉 https://www.green4ema.org Thomas Hübl, PhD, is a renowned teacher, author, and international facilitator who works within the complexity of systems and cultural change, integrating the core insights of the great wisdom traditions and mysticism with the discoveries of science. Since the early 2000s, he has led large-scale events and courses on the healing of collective trauma. In addition to Attuned, he is the author of Healing Collective Trauma: A Process for Integrating Our Intergenerational and Cultural Wounds. He has served as an advisor and guest faculty for universities and organizations, as a coach for CEOs and organizational leaders, and is currently a visiting scholar at the Wyss Institute at Harvard University.✨ Connect with Thomas here:Website: https://thomashuebl.com/Facebook: https://facebook.com/Thomas.Huebl.Sangha/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thomashuebl/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/ThomasHuebl YouTube: https://youtube.com/@thomashuebl ✨ Order Thomas Hübl’s new book,...

22 Apr 57min

BONUS: Humanity's Healing Orchestra

BONUS: Humanity's Healing Orchestra

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17 Apr 15min

Bayo Akomolafe, PhD | Bold Frontiers of Spiritual Healing

Bayo Akomolafe, PhD | Bold Frontiers of Spiritual Healing

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15 Apr 1h 2min

Regulate to Resonate

Regulate to Resonate

Thomas explores the relationship between inner space and outer space, examining the ecosystemic impacts of nervous system regulation, presence, and maturity. He shares how contemplative practices, such as meditation, help develop the parts of our brain that promote regulation, the importance of developing a daily practice, and the maturity in knowing when to slow down and take a step back from stressful situations, news, and social media.Tune in to learn how our individual regulation and presence can “go viral”—creating a detoxifying effect that can help end harmful systemic patterns and promote healing on the individual, ancestral, and collective levels. Watch the video version of the episode on YouTube:👉 https://youtu.be/wQc3dB8xXgA ✨ Sign up for updates by visiting our website: 👉 https://pointofrelationpodcast.com Thomas Hübl, PhD, is a renowned teacher, author, and international facilitator who works within the complexity of systems and cultural change, integrating the core insights of the great wisdom traditions and mysticism with the discoveries of science. Since the early 2000s, he has led large-scale events and courses on the healing of collective trauma. In addition to Attuned, he is the author of Healing Collective Trauma: A Process for Integrating Our Intergenerational and Cultural Wounds. He has served as an advisor and guest faculty for universities and organizations, as a coach for CEOs and organizational leaders, and is currently a visiting scholar at the Wyss Institute at Harvard University.✨ Connect with Thomas here:Website: https://thomashuebl.com/ Facebook: https://facebook.com/Thomas.Huebl.Sangha/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thomashuebl/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/ThomasHuebl YouTube: https://youtube.com/@thomashuebl Mentioned in this episode:Pulling the Thread Ad

8 Apr 23min

Diane Musho Hamilton | Waking Up & Growing Up

Diane Musho Hamilton | Waking Up & Growing Up

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1 Apr 52min

Bonus Meditation: Mapping the Mind

Bonus Meditation: Mapping the Mind

In this guided meditation, Thomas invites you to explore the current state of your mind. Explore your attachment to your thoughts and welcome a greater sense of presence and curiosity. Watch the video version of the episode on YouTube:👉 https://youtu.be/Q0Tty5OWpwI ✨ Sign up for updates by visiting our website: 👉 https://pointofrelationpodcast.com Thomas Hübl, PhD, is a renowned teacher, author, and international facilitator who works within the complexity of systems and cultural change, integrating the core insights of the great wisdom traditions and mysticism with the discoveries of science. Since the early 2000s, he has led large-scale events and courses on the healing of collective trauma. In addition to Attuned, he is the author of Healing Collective Trauma: A Process for Integrating Our Intergenerational and Cultural Wounds. He has served as an advisor and guest faculty for universities and organizations, as a coach for CEOs and organizational leaders, and is currently a visiting scholar at the Wyss Institute at Harvard University.✨ Connect with Thomas here:Website: https://thomashuebl.com/ Facebook: https://facebook.com/Thomas.Huebl.Sangha/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thomashuebl/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/ThomasHuebl YouTube: https://youtube.com/@thomashuebl Mentioned in this episode:Pulling the Thread Ad

27 Mars 8min

Loretta J. Ross | Cultivating Collective Liberation

Loretta J. Ross | Cultivating Collective Liberation

Thomas and award-winning reproductive justice and human rights leader Loretta J. Ross explore how we can address inequality, oppression, and hate in an atmosphere of political division and fast-paced technological progress.Loretta shares experiences that helped her form more effective strategies to solve social problems collectively and build inclusive movements that fight oppression with love, hope, and community instead of hate, anger, and vengeance.She and Thomas discuss the concept of “Calling In” – an accountability process that focuses on respect, engagement, and equal partnership, and how this is more effective than the adversarial “calling out” that we’re used to. Loretta explains how this practice can help social justice movements embrace diversity of thought and stop destructive in-fighting. Click here to watch the video version of this episode on YouTube:👉 https://youtu.be/T30HuFnQaHs Take our listener survey! We'd love your feedback on which topics and guests are resonating with you and which ones you'd like to hear more about in the future:👉 https://forms.gle/uoygyKMmHeUHeJFD9 ✨ Sign up for updates by visiting our website: 👉 https://pointofrelationpodcast.com Loretta J. Ross is a renowned activist, scholar, and pioneer of the 1970’s movement to end violence against women that laid the groundwork for the #MeToo movement. She founded the first U.S. center for creative human rights education and has deprogrammed hate group members, inspiring her upcoming book, Calling In the Calling Out Culture. She was inducted into the National Women's Hall of Fame in 2023.Connect with Loretta here: 👉 https://lorettajross.com Read Loretta's newest book: Calling In: How to Start Making Change With Those You'd Rather Cancel👉 https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Calling-In/Loretta-J-Ross/9781982190798Take Loretta's E-Course: Calling In: Navigating Conversations and Cultivating Compassionate Connections👉 https://speakoutinstitute.thinkific.com/courses/Calling-In-Navigating-Challenging-Conversations-and-Cultivating-Compassionate-Connections Thomas Hübl, PhD, is a renowned teacher, author, and international facilitator who works within the complexity of systems and cultural change, integrating the core insights of the great wisdom traditions and mysticism with the discoveries of science. Since the early 2000s, he has led large-scale events and courses on the healing of collective trauma. In addition to Attuned, he is the author of Healing Collective Trauma: A Process for Integrating Our Intergenerational and Cultural Wounds. He has served as an advisor and guest faculty for universities and organizations, as a coach for CEOs and organizational leaders, and is currently a visiting scholar at the Wyss Institute at Harvard University.✨ Connect with Thomas here:Website: <a href="https://thomashuebl.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

25 Mars 48min

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The Spiritual Flow of Healing

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18 Mars 26min

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