Maintaining Healthy Relationships When You Have Ankylosing Spondylitis

Hello, and welcome to this episode of The Ankylosing Spondylitis Podcast. I'm really glad that we can connect and discuss these topics on Ankylosing Spondylitis. So first I wanted to read a new review I got from Susan in Tampa, in the United States. She left a review on iTunes for the show and she said,

“I was very glad to hear Jayson talk about dating. My experience has been upsetting in that many men are unwilling to date or go further after the initial meeting, mostly due to the cane and the disabled appearance. I just want to stay in my house and not put myself out there. Well, thanks for all the great information, Jayson.”

Well, Susan, you're welcome. I can certainly understand. As I've said many times I walk with a cane I'm hunched over from fusing and my back and neck. And so you know, I don't give off this great appearance of virility at all. I come walking up and I've had some women leave right as soon as I've walked up from the date without even saying more than Hello, once they see how I walk, so I can certainly understand it's not a good feeling. It makes you you know, we already as folks with Ankylosing Spondylitis can be dealing with feelings of rejection. So then when it happens from a complete stranger who you may have had some conversation via text maybe over the phone, thinking, Hey, I kind of get along and then to have that happen. You know, I certainly understand or there are the first dates but there's never the second dates. So Susan, I completely get it. Thank you so much for the review. If you're listening to this episode, contact me through the website spondypodcast.com on the Contact link. I've got an Ankylosing Spondylitis Podcast decal that I'll shoot out to you. So anyway, I really appreciate that review.

Today's Question of the Week is actually going to tie into the entire episode. As I was reading through the forums on Facebook, one of the messages came out and it struck me as very relatable and it was from a young lady who was in a relationship and anytime she had something wrong related to Ankylosing Spondylitis, the other party not necessarily one upping her but saying, well, yeah I have this, you have that I have this you have that I have this. And well, neither party was wrong in expressing how they were dealing with their different ailments, the real issue boils down to one party, the person with Ankylosing Spondylitis wasn't getting the support that they needed. And that really is the crux of a situation I think a lot of us deal with this in relationships, whether they be intimate relationships, parental relationships, or work relationships. There are certain things we need for support from all the parties, different ways, but there's also certain ways we need to handle ourselves. So I wanted to kind of jump into that and this could be a little bit of a longer episode than normal. So I thought I would just kind of combine the two as we all know, having any type of chronic condition like Ankylosing Spondylitis or any other number of conditions can take a toll on not only our physical well being, but also our psychological well being. And I think the physical well being we can recover from and push forward through. Its that psychological well being that can be very, very difficult to correct, move forward, and overcome. And that's what we'll talk about to a degree today. So for anybody that's listening, that might be a caregiver or new to what Ankylosing Spondylitis is, in its simplest form, it's a type of arthritis that creates inflammation in the body. Generally thought of as affecting primarily the spine of people, the vertebrae, it really will connect and attack anywhere that there is the connective tissues and bone. Mine started off really, really heavy in the hips, move to the spine and other areas, but we're all Different it's going to affect us all different. So you know, over time, this long term...