What Can We Learn from Cynics?

Doing a deep dive into the resources available specifically aimed at the Male Sub left me with a sour taste in my mouth. Everything was kink-related and felt aimed at turning men into pieces of meat. There was so little available about having an actual D/s relationship. If I were a male submissive and looked at what is available, I too would falsely think it was all about the kink and roleplay.

3 Dec 20228min

Gaslighting within BDSM can be “You liked it”, “You never said the safe word” or, “You didn’t mean it when you said it!” Although gaslighting is most commonly associated with abusive relationships with other people, you are also capable of gaslighting yourself. Gaslighting is abusive, but Validation makes for healthy relationships!

2 Dec 202210min

"Alright, you signed up, you’ve done some searching, and you found your coworker's nude pics. Now you’ve got your junk in your hand and you’re looking to park it down someone's throat. You furiously type, one-handed, posting to as many local groups as you can. So you wait. And wait. And wait." Today we talk about how vanilla people act within our social spaces and give them solutions for having better experiences within our BDSM culture.

1 Dec 202213min

How do gender identity and BDSM collide, and does one influence the other? Could our BDSM identity influence our gender identity, and could our gender identity influence our identity of Dominance or submission? Today we consider these questions as we help you define your own sexuality, gender, gender identity, and gender expression.

30 Nov 202212min

So a question we've often been asked is what is Frenzy and why is it considered so bad. This comes up often when someone speaks about “sub frenzy” but there is also “Dom frenzy” as well as other variations on the theme. Today we shed some light on these situations by looking at the bigger picture and then how frenzy might manifest in people’s behavior through the want to do ALL the things, all the time, more and more, and all NOW!

29 Nov 202223min

While we primarily focus on BDSM, it's also important to cover some types of sex education as well. As with many things, small gaps in what we know about basic things can lead to larger problems when we try to bring in more involved levels of kink play. Instead of Googling in incognito, here's a compilation of answers to frequently asked questions about anal play.

28 Nov 202218min

You might see someone listed on a BDSM profile that they have a Mentor or they are under the Protection of someone in the lifestyle. Where can you find a Mentor or Protector? How do you pick one? Do you even need one? Today we answer those questions and give good advice for finding people who you can trust to guide and protect you within this lifestyle.

27 Nov 202211min

What does it mean to “push your limits” and who can push them? If you spend any time around other people in this lifestyle you will hear the phrase pushing your limits so today we are talking about what limits should and shouldn't be pushed. We also discuss how to do scenes involving pushing limits.

26 Nov 202210min