Episode 13: High Conflict Personalities and Divorce with Rebecca Zung

Episode 13: High Conflict Personalities and Divorce with Rebecca Zung

“They actually thrive and enjoy being in this drama, trauma, and chaos, getting people stirred up,” says Rebecca Zung, describing high conflict personalities. In this episode, Dr. Z talks with Rebecca, a top-ranked trial lawyer, high conflict negotiator, and international bestselling author of “Slay the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win.”

Rebecca explains that while those with high conflict personalities will often demonstrate narcissistic traits, this does not necessarily mean they have a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Dr. Z emphasizes the importance of understanding the function of someone’s behavior, or the underlying “why” behind it. This helps when formulating responses and implementing boundaries with a high conflict individual.

The episode covers Rebecca’s S.L.A.Y. (Strategy, Leverage, Anticipate, and You) method for negotiating with high conflict personalities, offering practical advice for those facing high conflict divorce or custody battles. Rebecca details each component of her SLAY method, highlighting the need to create a vision, build leverage within the dynamic, anticipate their next moves, and maintain a strong, self-focused mindset.

Packed with insights and how-to strategies, this episode of Next Up: Narcissism is a valuable resource for anyone dealing with high conflict personalities and narcissistic abuse.

Quotes

  • “A high conflict personality literally thrives on constantly stirring the pot in every area they can, all the time, no matter where they go. It’s almost like Pigpen in Charlie Brown, who always had that cloud around him. That’s how it is with a high conflict personality. Wherever they go, there’s always something brewing.” (05:21 | Rebecca Zung)
  • “People with high conflict personalities, narcissistic personalities, or even just extreme narcissistic traits, they're not going to therapy and getting diagnosed. And if they do, it’s either court mandated, or they go once then they don’t come back again. They go to a million different therapists until they find one that’s going to buy into their bullshit. And that's what happens… And I think also, with social media, certain people don’t get away with certain things anymore. And people have more knowledge about it. So we’re hearing about it more. Are people misdiagnosed by society? Yeah, they are… Narcissism is a very distinct thing.” (10:52 | Dr. Z)
  • “My S.L.A.Y. method is the blueprint. I call it a blueprint as well. It’s basically a roadmap to get exactly where you want to go, to win your negotiations, to win in court, to win in communication, whatever it is that you want to do. It’s a four-step playbook to help you visualize where you want to go and then just create the plan.” (20:44 | Rebecca Zung)

Links

Connect with Rebecca Zung:

https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=2303615&u=4279579&m=139677&urllink=&afftrack=

Slay Your Negotiation with a Narcissist:

https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=2319861&u=4279579&m=139677&urllink=&afftrack=

SLAY the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win:

https://amzn.to/3WibKBw

For the FREE Crush My Negotiation Prep Playbook:

https://winmynegotiation.com/

Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:

https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Avsnitt(58)

Episode 3: Boundaries and Narcissistic Parents with Terri Cole

Episode 3: Boundaries and Narcissistic Parents with Terri Cole

“Expect that you're going to get pushback from them, because you will,” says Terri Cole, about what can happen when establishing boundaries with others. Terri is a licensed psychotherapist and author of “Boundary Boss.” Together with host Dr. Z, they delve into the critical aspects of setting boundaries and managing interactions with a narcissistic parent.   Terri defines boundaries as personal rules of engagement that communicate to others what behaviors you are willing, and not willing, to tolerate.  Alongside Dr. Z, they explore the common challenges of setting boundaries, including the difficulty of maintaining them in the face of pushback. Terri also introduces a unique framework for categorizing what she refers to as "boundary offenders." They are: Boundary First-Timer, Repeat Offender, and Boundary Destroyer.   Terri and Dr. Z also discuss the challenges of setting boundaries with narcissistic parents and the unique approaches required to effectively manage these extremely complex relationships. Red flags and common behavior patterns of narcissistic parenting are explored, including the use of emotional blackmail and competitiveness with their children.    Tune in to this episode of “Next Up: Narcissism”  to gain valuable insights into how to identify narcissistic parenting dynamics, strategies to establish and maintain effective boundaries, and how to protect your own mental health while fostering authentic and healthy relationships.   Quotes “Your boundaries are comprised of your preferences, your desires, your limits, and your deal-breakers—your non-negotiables. So really think about what that is, preferences, desires, limits, and deal-breakers. It's not enough to know them, which a lot of people don't even know. You have to know them and then have the ability to clearly and concisely communicate them when you so choose.” (02:54 | Terri Cole) “This is what makes having healthy boundaries so complicated for people because even if you do spend enough time on yourself to know what your preferences are, knowing how to set a limit with someone else can be very challenging, because we're all raised and praised to be self-abandoning codependents.” (03:22 | Terri Cole) “The reason why boundaries are broken up into the categories that they are, according to me, is because they don't all carry the same weight.” (09:00 | Terri Cole)   Links Connect with Terri Cole: terricole.com/workshop terricole.com/fatherwound  https://boundarybossbook.com/ https://www.instagram.com/terricole/ Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/ https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/ https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

10 Maj 202452min

Next Up: Narcissism - Trailer

Next Up: Narcissism - Trailer

With a real, raw, and relatable approach, clinical psychologist and narcissism expert, Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, takes a hard look at narcissistic abuse and its devastating effects across relationships of all types. Next Up: Narcissism explores all things narcissism and mental health; educating listeners on the patterns of narcissistic abuse, including gaslighting, love bombing, and coercive control. Listen in each week as we breakdown these toxic behaviors, and offer concrete strategies and actionable steps to help you navigate these toxic relationships. Through in-depth discussions, Q&A’s and expert guests, you will learn the skills and tactics to unravel this web of chaos, helping you to move forward into a healthier, happier and healed life.

20 Mars 20242min

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