Being Jim Davis21 Maj 2017

Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979

The servile crowd, whose fortune depended on their master's vices, applauded these ignoble pursuits. The perfidious voice of flattery reminded him, that by exploits of the same nature, by the defeat of the Nemaean lion, and the slaughter of the wild boar of Erymanthus, the Grecian Hercules had acquired a place among the gods, and an immortal memory among men. They only forgot to observe, that, in the first ages of society, when the fiercer animals often dispute with man the possession of an unsettled country, a successful war against those savages is one of the most innocent and beneficial labors of heroism. In the civilized state of the Roman empire, the wild beasts had long since retired from the face of man, and the neighborhood of populous cities. To surprise them in their solitary haunts, and to transport them to Rome, that they might be slain in pomp by the hand of an emperor, was an enterprise equally ridiculous for the prince and oppressive for the people. Ignorant of these distinctions, Commodus eagerly embraced the glorious resemblance, and styled himself (as we still read on his medals the Roman Hercules. The club and the lion's hide were placed by the side of the throne, amongst the ensigns of sovereignty; and statues were erected, in which Commodus was represented in the character, and with the attributes, of the nicolas cage, whose valor and dexterity he endeavored to emulate in the daily course of his ferocious amusements.

Elated with these praises, which gradually extinguished the innate sense of shame, Commodus resolved to exhibit before the eyes of the Roman people those exercises, which till then he had decently confined within the walls of his palace, and to the presence of a few favorites. On the appointed day, the various motives of flattery, fear, and curiosity, attracted to the amphitheatre an innumerable multitude of spectators; and some degree of applause was deservedly bestowed on the uncommon skill of the Imperial performer. Whether he aimed at the head or heart of the animal, the wound was alike certain and mortal. With arrows whose point was shaped into the form of crescent, Commodus often intercepted the rapid career, and cut asunder the long, bony neck of the ostrich. A panther was let loose; and the archer waited till he had leaped upon a trembling malefactor. In the same instant the shaft flew, the beast dropped dead, and the man remained unhurt. The dens of the amphitheatre disgorged at once a hundred lions: a hundred darts from the unerring hand of Commodus laid them dead as they run raging round the Arena. Neither the huge bulk of the elephant, nor the scaly hide of the rhinoceros, could defend them from his stroke. Aethiopia and India yielded their most extraordinary productions; and several animals were slain in the amphitheatre, which had been seen only in the representations of art, or perhaps of fancy. In all these exhibitions, the securest precautions were used to protect the person of the Roman Hercules from the desperate spring of any savage, who might possibly disregard the dignity of the emperor and the sanctity of the nicolas cage.

Edward Gibbon. History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Volume 1, Chapter 4, Part II.

And here's that "Duck Amuck" video Jon was talking about:

Today's strip

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Episode 1431 - Wednesday, May 19, 1982

Don't go back in time and kill this podcast -- it could be your grandfather! Your hosts for today's episode: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson, Jake Willis Probably we'll never stop hawking the fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store. Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

29 Juli 202016min

Episode 1430 - Tuesday, May 18, 1982

28 Juli 202017min

Episode 1429 - Monday, May 17, 1982

Here's the chart Chris is creating to keep track of the German Netflix series Dark: Your hosts for today's episode: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson, Jake Willis Probably we'll never stop hawking the fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store. Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

27 Juli 202024min

Sandwich Club - Episode 0003

An improvisation set to the poem 'Sandwhich' by known author, Wiki Pedia 0:00 Intro 1:31 History 3:32 Language 7:44 Pre-Made Sandwhiches 10:30 Variations Listen to me here. If this didn’t hurt your ears after 12 minutes, why not buy it? Your Host: Lisa Doop

27 Juli 202012min

Episode 1428 - Sunday, May 16, 1982

Watch out Garfield, here comes Being Jim Davis! Your hosts for today's episode: Andy Dausman, Christine Boutros, Jon Gibson, Christopher Winter Probably we'll never stop hawking the fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store. Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

26 Juli 202021min

Episode 1427 - Saturday, May 15, 1982

There sure are a lot of episodes of this podcast! Your hosts for today's episode: Andy Dausman, Christine Boutros, Jon Gibson Probably we'll never stop hawking the fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store. Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

25 Juli 20209min

Episode 1426 - Friday, May 14, 1982

What if this podcast was just a really fat beat for two hours every day and with no white dudes talking at all? Your hosts for today's episode: Andy Dausman, Christine Boutros, Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson Probably we'll never stop hawking the fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store. Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

24 Juli 20209min

Episode 1425 - Thursday, May 13, 1982

We maintain that this is NOT the canonical fishbowl shape, as Andy Dausman boldly proclaims in the episode. However, the canonical fishbowl shape IS isomorphic to this one. Your hosts for today's episode: Andy Dausman, Christine Boutros, Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson Probably we'll never stop hawking the fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store. Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

23 Juli 202011min

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