Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979
Being Jim Davis21 Maj 2017

Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979

The servile crowd, whose fortune depended on their master's vices, applauded these ignoble pursuits. The perfidious voice of flattery reminded him, that by exploits of the same nature, by the defeat of the Nemaean lion, and the slaughter of the wild boar of Erymanthus, the Grecian Hercules had acquired a place among the gods, and an immortal memory among men. They only forgot to observe, that, in the first ages of society, when the fiercer animals often dispute with man the possession of an unsettled country, a successful war against those savages is one of the most innocent and beneficial labors of heroism. In the civilized state of the Roman empire, the wild beasts had long since retired from the face of man, and the neighborhood of populous cities. To surprise them in their solitary haunts, and to transport them to Rome, that they might be slain in pomp by the hand of an emperor, was an enterprise equally ridiculous for the prince and oppressive for the people. Ignorant of these distinctions, Commodus eagerly embraced the glorious resemblance, and styled himself (as we still read on his medals the Roman Hercules. The club and the lion's hide were placed by the side of the throne, amongst the ensigns of sovereignty; and statues were erected, in which Commodus was represented in the character, and with the attributes, of the nicolas cage, whose valor and dexterity he endeavored to emulate in the daily course of his ferocious amusements.

Elated with these praises, which gradually extinguished the innate sense of shame, Commodus resolved to exhibit before the eyes of the Roman people those exercises, which till then he had decently confined within the walls of his palace, and to the presence of a few favorites. On the appointed day, the various motives of flattery, fear, and curiosity, attracted to the amphitheatre an innumerable multitude of spectators; and some degree of applause was deservedly bestowed on the uncommon skill of the Imperial performer. Whether he aimed at the head or heart of the animal, the wound was alike certain and mortal. With arrows whose point was shaped into the form of crescent, Commodus often intercepted the rapid career, and cut asunder the long, bony neck of the ostrich. A panther was let loose; and the archer waited till he had leaped upon a trembling malefactor. In the same instant the shaft flew, the beast dropped dead, and the man remained unhurt. The dens of the amphitheatre disgorged at once a hundred lions: a hundred darts from the unerring hand of Commodus laid them dead as they run raging round the Arena. Neither the huge bulk of the elephant, nor the scaly hide of the rhinoceros, could defend them from his stroke. Aethiopia and India yielded their most extraordinary productions; and several animals were slain in the amphitheatre, which had been seen only in the representations of art, or perhaps of fancy. In all these exhibitions, the securest precautions were used to protect the person of the Roman Hercules from the desperate spring of any savage, who might possibly disregard the dignity of the emperor and the sanctity of the nicolas cage.

Edward Gibbon. History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Volume 1, Chapter 4, Part II.

And here's that "Duck Amuck" video Jon was talking about:

Today's strip

Avsnitt(2526)

Episode 1900 - Wednesday, August 31, 1983

Episode 1900 - Wednesday, August 31, 1983

A lot of people say that Being Jim Davis is a podcast that exists in the universe. Your hosts for today's episode were Jonathan Gibson and Christopher Winter. Today's closing theme music is "Garfield Forever Theme Music" by KieloKaz, submitted without their permission by Ryan Pfeiffer. No, it's not too long. Like it? Don’t check out Garfield Forever, because it sucks! Or you can submit your own Being Jim Davis theme music here. Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

10 Nov 202111min

Episode 1899 - Tuesday, August 30, 1983

Episode 1899 - Tuesday, August 30, 1983

A lot of people say that Being Jim Davis is a podcast that exists in the universe. Your hosts for today's episode were Jonathan Gibson and Christopher Winter. Today's closing theme music is "The World Is On Fire," by Kendall Halman. Like it? Visit Kendall's BandCamp page. Or you can submit your own Being Jim Davis theme music here. Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

9 Nov 20216min

Episode 1898 - Monday, August 29, 1983

Episode 1898 - Monday, August 29, 1983

Look, I don't know what's going on with last week's episodes. Don't ask me! Your hosts for today's episode were Jonathan Gibson and Christopher Winter. Today's closing theme music is "Fuck Your Music Theory" by Lisa Doop. Like it? Why not check out her Bandcamp page? Or you can submit your own Being Jim Davis theme music here. Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

8 Nov 202113min

Episode 1897 - Sunday, August 28, 1983

Episode 1897 - Sunday, August 28, 1983

You'll get this podcast when we say you do -- and not a moment sooner! Your hosts for today's episode were Jonathan Gibson, Ryan Pfeiffer, Andrew Dausman, and Christopher Winter. Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

7 Nov 202114min

Episode 1896 - Saturday, August 27, 1983

Episode 1896 - Saturday, August 27, 1983

You'll get this podcast when we say you do -- and not a moment sooner! Your hosts for today's episode were Jonathan Gibson, Ryan Pfeiffer, Andrew Dausman, and Christopher Winter. Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

6 Nov 202111min

Episode 1895 - Friday, August 26, 1983

Episode 1895 - Friday, August 26, 1983

You'll get this podcast when we say you do -- and not a moment sooner! Your hosts for today's episode were Jonathan Gibson, Ryan Pfeiffer, Andrew Dausman, and Christopher Winter. Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

5 Nov 202114min

Episode 1894 - Thursday, August 25, 1983

Episode 1894 - Thursday, August 25, 1983

You'll get this podcast when we say you do -- and not a moment sooner! Your hosts for today's episode were Jonathan Gibson, Ryan Pfeiffer, Andrew Dausman, and Christopher Winter. Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

4 Nov 20217min

Episode 1893 - Wednesday, August 24, 1983

Episode 1893 - Wednesday, August 24, 1983

You'll get this podcast when we say you do -- and not a moment sooner! Your hosts for today's episode were Jonathan Gibson, Ryan Pfeiffer, Andrew Dausman, and Christopher Winter. Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

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