Ep. 22: Windy Sex, Safe One-Night Stands and Sex Post Pregnancy

Ep. 22: Windy Sex, Safe One-Night Stands and Sex Post Pregnancy

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:


  1. I’m 20 years old and have been sexually active about 2 years, with the same partner. The sex in itself is amazing, but it gets to a point when air gets into my vagina and makes a weird noise. This makes me feel really uncomfortable (he says he doesn’t mind it at all). Is my vagina too loose? And if so, can I do something about it? But also, isn’t it weird to have this problem at my age? Or maybe is it about the girth of my partner’s penis?
  2. I have never had a one night stand before, but I have always thought it could be a lot of fun if done right. I am afraid of taking home someone who is creepy or not trustworthy, especially these days with COVID, how would you recommend going about one-night stands in a safe yet fun way?
  3. I’m 6 months postpartum. My body looks very different and I’m very nervous to have sex with my husband again. I just recently started feeling the desire for sex again but I’m terrified he will be turned off by how I feel now and how I look. I’m not very confident with my new body type either. How do I regain my confidence in bed?

And offers her sex tip of the week!


To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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S4 Ep. 8: Why Do I Run When the Sex Wanes, Do Women Have Anal Just to Please Men, and How Do I Deal with 'Hot Air'?

S4 Ep. 8: Why Do I Run When the Sex Wanes, Do Women Have Anal Just to Please Men, and How Do I Deal with 'Hot Air'?

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) This is a very personal question that’s highly embarrassing. When I have sex with my partner, wind comes out of my vagina. The first time it happened I was mortified but my partner just kept pumping away and didn’t mention it. It happens on a regular basis and destroys the mood for me though he doesn’t seem to care. How can I stop this happening?2) I’m 36 and I’ve stopped counting the number of relationships I’ve had. I know I need to settle because I want to have children, but I get bored so easily with sex. I can’t get enough of them at the start but, after two or three months, sex begins to repulse me. It’s like someone’s turned off a switch. This is more than just the honeymoon period wearing off. It happens so fast and so dramatically. I feel like something else is going on.3) Is anal intercourse pleasurable for women or do you just do it because men like it? My ex was really into it but my current gf isn’t a fan and says she was just pretending to like it.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

8 Feb 202321min

S4 Ep. 7: Sex with a Man 20 Years Older, What to do If He Falls Out, and How to Tell Someone They're Not the Lover They Think They Are

S4 Ep. 7: Sex with a Man 20 Years Older, What to do If He Falls Out, and How to Tell Someone They're Not the Lover They Think They Are

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) My partner always falls out when we have sex. It’s frustrating and interrupts the flow. Is there a reason why this is happening and how do we stop it?2) My boyfriend thinks he’s great in bed – he told me right at the start that all his exes say he’s the best lover they’ve ever had. He’s a nice man otherwise and has a good sense of humour so I thought he was just boasting in a joking way. I was wrong. He takes himself very seriously in bed and when sex is over, it’s clear he’s waiting for me to compliment him. He’s an okay lover, but certainly not the best I’VE had! We’ve only been together a few weeks but when I asked if he could do something gentler, he got very offended. How do I get him to do the things I like in bed without bruising that fragile ego?3) I’m a 43 year old woman and I’m considering a relationship with a man 20 years older than me. I know there will be issues ahead, especially if we stay together and he’s 83 and I’m 63. But I have never been this attracted to someone and he ticks so many boxes that I’m willing to take a chance. What worries me is sex. I enjoy sex and it’s very important to me. He reassures me that he’ll be just as into it as he is now in years to come, and just as capable of getting erections, but is that true?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1 Feb 202321min

S4 Ep. 6: Why Can I Only Orgasm Alone, Do Women Like Hairy Men, and Will I Regret Leaving My Husband?

S4 Ep. 6: Why Can I Only Orgasm Alone, Do Women Like Hairy Men, and Will I Regret Leaving My Husband?

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) Why is it that I can orgasm easily on my own (using my fingers or a vibrator) but have never had an orgasm with a partner? So many boyfriends have said, ‘Oh, but you’ve never had sex with ME!”, convinced they will be the one to make it happen. But it never does. I came close with my ex whose technique was excellent, but still couldn’t tip over the edge.2) I am a guy in my early 40s. My partner of 20 years passed away two years ago and I’m thinking of entering the dating game. I’m a very hairy guy—chest and back hair, and a trimmed beard. My previous partner didn’t mind and said she liked it. Are there still women out there who like hairy men? Or is that not a thing anymore? I am happy to trim the hair—and I do—but I don’t want to wax or shave. How do I handle this on a date? Should I come right out and say I’m hairy before we have sex? Or should I try a more subtle approach? 3) I’d like your advice on whether I should separate from my husband or not. We’ve been together 12 years—the first half really happy, the second half not so much. We have a daughter who is 6 years old. Our main problem is we argue constantly about the same things without ever finding solutions. How to parent, money—all the usual things. Sex stopped when my daughter arrived and has never really kicked off since then. My husband feels like my adversary, not someone who loves me, and I dream of being free of the stress of fighting. I’m worn down. But I also have friends who regret leaving their marriages, so I don't want to jump ship if it’s going to be even worse as a single mother.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

25 Jan 202325min

S4 Ep. 5: Is It Okay if My Husband Follows Model and Porn Star Accounts, Mixing Up Missionary, and Is My Man Faking It?

S4 Ep. 5: Is It Okay if My Husband Follows Model and Porn Star Accounts, Mixing Up Missionary, and Is My Man Faking It?

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) Don’t give me a hard time because it sounds boring; but, missionary is my favorite position—it just works for us. Can you suggest some ways to mix it up a little to keep things interesting?2) I’ve been married for 25 years and love my husband, but my self-confidence has taken a dive. Five years ago, my husband became very close friends with a new (and beautiful) co-worker. This was the first time I had to deal with him having a close female friend. I also noticed he was following a ton of Instagram models/porn accounts. I have no problem with him watching porn, but I worry that he is interacting online with women, which I feel crosses the line. He is very possessive of his phone. I am constantly comparing myself to porn models and feeling like I don’t measure up. I am trying to get myself into shape by losing 25 pounds to see if that helps boost my confidence. I do know he loves me, so how can I let go of the suspicions that he’s engaging with women online? 3) I’m absolutely convinced my boyfriend of two years fakes his orgasms. He goes through the motions—thrusts harder, makes noise, and then stops—but there’s no semen on the sheets or when I go to the loo. Why would he do this? It doesn’t happen all the time, but quite often. To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

18 Jan 202328min

S4 Ep. 4:  I Can Only Orgasm with My Vibrator, Sex During Your Period, and Fixating on Fairytale Encounters

S4 Ep. 4: I Can Only Orgasm with My Vibrator, Sex During Your Period, and Fixating on Fairytale Encounters

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’m a woman in my early 40s and my problem is that I can only orgasm with a clitoral vibrator. I can reach orgasm on my own or with my partner, but only if I use vibration. I’ve never had an orgasm another way. I have tried SO hard on my own using fingers, but I don’t get even close. How do I change this? My current partner would love to make me orgasm. I’ve stopped using any sex toys as I want it to happen with him only. Is there something I can do?2) Six years ago, I met a man at a music festival and we spent one day and night together. It was like something out of the movies. The second I met him, I felt like I’d known him forever. The conversation flowed, and when we kissed, it was perfect. We danced and had so much fun together. He was camping so I stayed the night and we had sex together – which was like nothing I have ever experienced. The next day, when we went to swap numbers, he said, ‘That was just perfect. Let’s leave it perfect.’ I agreed, though was dying inside. He walked away and I’ve never seen him again. He is all I think about. I relive every moment, and no-one comes close to making me feel the way he did. I worry I’ll never feel this way again or have sex that good again. How do I break the spell? 3) I am the most turned on when I have my period. Do you have any suggestions of how to broach continuing to have sex during this time with my new partner? He’s a bit squeamish. And any tips on how to make it less messy?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

11 Jan 202325min

S4 Ep. 3: Weed and Desire, Sex after Breast Cancer, and How to Hit the 'Reset' Button for Sex

S4 Ep. 3: Weed and Desire, Sex after Breast Cancer, and How to Hit the 'Reset' Button for Sex

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I don’t know where to start but please help because our sex life is such a mess! We’ve been married for 12 years and it’s the usual story: things started out great, then we got bored and sex got less and less frequent. Now we barely do it and it’s awkward and not pleasurable. Don’t tell me to try something new because it’s beyond that. I wish we could wipe the slate clean and start again. What advice do you have for me?2) What’s your view on recreational drugs and whether they help or hinder sex? My libido seems to be dwindling with age (I’m 47) but when I smoke marijuana, I feel much more in the mood. The problem is, after we’ve had a good sex session while stoned, sex without the drug seems even more boring. Am I creating another problem for myself? 3) I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive breast cancer in my 30s (though am almost four years cancer free now). Returning to sex after surgeries and scars was difficult and I’ve read so many stories of women that have faced the same thing. From hair loss, loss of breast, and early menopause, so many women are struggling to find their way back to enjoying sex. I'd love to hear your perspectives on body image and sex, especially after surgery.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

4 Jan 202328min

S4 Ep. 2: Pubic Hair, B reast Play, and Dealing with a 'Man-Child'

S4 Ep. 2: Pubic Hair, B reast Play, and Dealing with a 'Man-Child'

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I have an issue with pubic hair. Basically, I’m not a fan and like it well-manicured on both women and men. I shave my testicles and keep the rest neatly trimmed. My wife however has a laissez-faire attitude and sports a luxuriant bush though she does trim it before a beach vacation. I know that the issue is mine, no doubt a result of conditioning from porn. But I find hairy bits and pieces a turn off. Should I try to reprogram my mind? And if so, how?2) I absolutely love having my breasts played with during sex but find most men ignore them after an obligatory squeeze. How can I encourage my lovers to pay more attention and, apart from the obvious fondling, what else feels nice to try? 3) I really love my partner of 8 months but find my desire for him rapidly disappearing. I suspect it’s because of his neediness. He seeks my approval for everything he does and sometimes it feels like he can’t make a single decision without checking with me. It’s nice to have my opinion respected and in many ways it suits me because I like being in control. But sex is the casualty. I want him to take charge in bed and be more assertive. Instead he adopts the same role as he does out of bed. How do I broach this without offending him?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

28 Dec 202220min

S4 Ep. 1: Can You Spot a Cheater, How to Impress that Very First Time, and How to Make Him Last Longer

S4 Ep. 1: Can You Spot a Cheater, How to Impress that Very First Time, and How to Make Him Last Longer

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’ve gone from one extreme to another. My previous partner used to take so long to orgasm during intercourse, I’d be practically asleep. With my new boyfriend, it’s over within two minutes. I really like him and want to make this work. I don’t want him to go on for hours but 10 or so minutes would be good. How can I help him last longer?2) I have been cheated on all my life and I don’t think I will survive if another man does it to me. I am obviously crap at choosing partners. I want to know if there is a way to reduce my chances of it happening again. Are there things I can look for that hint that someone is likely to be unfaithful?3) I’m an inexperienced 24 year old straight woman and new into a relationship with a guy I really like. I’ve deliberately put off having sex with him because I want it to be awesome. Do you have any tips on how to impress him and things I shouldn’t do?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

21 Dec 202228min

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