Ep. 22: Windy Sex, Safe One-Night Stands and Sex Post Pregnancy

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’m 36 and just started a relationship with a man I really like. He’s more experienced than me—he’s had lots of relationships, and I’ve only had two long-term relationships. Because of that, I tend to leave it up to him to initiate sex and take the lead in bed. He mentioned recently that it would be great if I was the one to suggest sex now and then. I want to do it, but I’ve never initiated sex before. Can you give me some practical suggestions?2) My partner and I love your show! You talk a lot about power games and how they can add excitement. We get the concept that one person is dominant and one submissive, but what do we actually do? Can you give us some scenarios of what we might try?3) My boyfriend is slim and I’m a generous size 16. I’m confident with my curves, though I have the odd day where I worry about being bigger than my boyfriend. He constantly tells me I am his ultimate fantasy and is always commenting on my curves and saying how sexy my body is. I just have to touch him and he gets hard. Should I be worried that I’m being fetishized for being bigger? My boyfriend has asked if I would stand in front of him while he pleasures himself. It feels strange not to be actively participating in his pleasure and just to stand in front naked. Is this normal?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

13 Dec 202327min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) How do you have a cervical orgasm? I’ve heard Kelsey talk about it and I’m intrigued. How do you do it? It sounds quite full on and intense and I want to have one!2) I’m a 36-year-old straight woman and feel like I’m a boring lover. How can I be wilder in bed? I’ve done all the usual things—oral sex, different intercourse positions, hand jobs, BJs—but nothing beyond that. I don’t even know what else there is to do! I’m so vanilla! Can you give me some ideas of what to try and how to get over the embarrassment I feel when trying out new things?3) I enjoy sex with my girlfriend but I don’t like to lie and cuddle afterwards. It’s not that I don’t love her, I just feel irritable and anxious after I’ve had an orgasm. I’m not sure why. I’ve asked my male friends and it doesn’t happen to them.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

6 Dec 202327min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I thought I’d never have to stare at a strange ceiling again, but here I am: newly separated and back out there again. I had a healthy amount of sexual experience before my marriage, but I’ve slept with no one but my husband for 25 years (I’m 52). I’m a confident person, but the thought of sleeping with someone new terrifies me. Can you give me some dos and don’ts of first-time sex with a new lover to help me through? 2) I’m a 29-year-old straight man and I need your help Tracey! I don’t think I am very good at giving women hand jobs. There’s a distinct lack of enthusiasm, and they seem too eager to move onto other things. What could I be doing wrong? Do I go there too soon? Am I too rough? I ask if she’s enjoying it, and most women say 'yes' even though I can tell they’re lying.3) I’m sure you get this question every day: how do I make myself want sex more? Every guy I’ve been with wants sex more than me. I want to have a high libido, but, apart from at the beginning I don’t think I do. Can I change that?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

29 Nov 202326min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) My son is 25 and I’m 44. I split from his father soon after he was born and we are very close. He still lives at home and often has friends around, all of which I know well. Here’s the part I need advice on: one of his friends has a crush on me and it's flattering. I’ve seen him watching me and he flirts a lot, but he told me recently that he can’t stop thinking about me and would I consider a relationship with him. He didn’t make it clear if it was just sex or whether he saw a future. I haven’t had sex or a date in such a long time and am very tempted to say yes. But what would my son say and think? Is this the stupidest idea I’ve ever had? I feel like I deserve some fun after raising my son solo. 2) Is there ever a time when you would suggest a couple take a break from sex? I feel like we’ve got into some bad habits and need to hit the reset button.3) I split with my ex (his choice, not mine) three years ago. It was an extremely volatile relationship. I’ve had relationships since then, but no one has come close to matching the chemistry I had with him. Will I ever find it again? How do I get over pining for him and have this feeling again with someone else? To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

22 Nov 202321min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) My jaw gets unbearably sore and tired just minutes into giving my partner a BJ. I’ve tried taking breaks by focusing on the testicles, but it’s never enough to recuperate, and he doesn’t seem to enjoy it much. My partner gives me lots of great oral sex and I want to do the same to him. How can I keep him occupied while I rest my jaw, and is there any way to stretch my jaw so it doesn’t get so sore so fast?2) I’m into piercings and quite like the idea of getting my genitals pierced. I’m a 23-year-old woman. My question is: How safe is it? Will it interfere with my ability to orgasm? And what does the average man think about piercings?3) I am a 34-year-old female and have been with my boyfriend for three years. I like sex, but I find it very hard to relax during it. I spend most of the time worrying about what I look like. All I see are imperfections: a fat stomach, cellulite, veins. Once I spot something I don’t want to see, I become obsessed with watching my boyfriend to see if he has noticed as well. I know I should be able to get past this, but how? I have seen his exes on Instagram and they are all thinner and better looking than me.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

15 Nov 202326min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’ve just broken up with a long-term boyfriend and am dating someone new. All is going well—except in the sex department. He has no problems getting an erection, but the minute he tries to penetrate, he loses it. If we can get him inside of me, he gets hard again and can orgasm. Is this ED? I worry it’s somehow my fault and I know he is embarrassed about it. What can I do to help stop this from happening? 2) How do you know if your partner is a sex addict? My husband has always wanted a lot of sex: daily for the seven years we have been together. (He’s 44, I’m 36.) But now it’s ramped up to him wanting it twice or three times a day. If I say no, he gets angry and goes off to masturbate. I know he watches a lot of porn when I am not around as well. To make things worse, we are trying for a baby and him constantly ejaculating could lower the sperm count. He sees nothing wrong with what’s happening. 3) I’ve been seeing a new man for the last few months and really like him. But we had a drunken argument one night and called it all off. I didn’t hear from him for a week, then he called to sort things out. During the week we broke up, I met up with someone else and had casual sex. All is back on track now, but imagine my horror when I find out my boyfriend had an altercation with the guy I slept with in the past. I’m now terrified it’s all going to come out. There are Facebook messages that prove this happened. I really love this man and the sex with the other guy was meant to be a bit of fun. My question is: Have I cheated? Should I wait and hope it doesn’t come out, or come clean and risk losing a relationship I see so much potential in?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

8 Nov 202322min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) How do I learn to relax and enjoy my partner giving me oral sex? I’ve been seeing a guy and am really enjoying the relationship. At first, I wouldn’t let him go down on me for all the usual self-conscious reasons. But I decided to be open to the experience since he convinced me that he likes doing it. I still can’t get myself to fully relax and enjoy the experience. I worry about what reaction I should be having: how long it’s supposed to take, and if he’s just going to be disappointed again if I don’t orgasm. How can I get my brain to cooperate and learn to like oral sex?2) After 13 years of marriage, I found out my husband has had several sex affairs. I found a message from a woman he was sleeping with and, once confronted, he confessed and told me it wasn’t the first time. (This was his third). We married young and he says even though he doesn’t regret it and loves me, he feels he missed out on the sleeping with other people bit. He insists they were just sex and nothing else, and I believe him. He used condoms and was discreet. We are in counseling and working things through, but I am still so angry and feel like I want revenge. Should I have my own affair to even up the score?3) I’m a 24-year-old straight guy and learning lots about sex from your show! I’m curious about whether you can tell if a woman has had a real orgasm or not. I looked it up online and read that a red rash appears on the chest when a woman climaxes. I’ve slept with several women since then and not once has a rash appeared, even though they acted like they had an orgasm. Were they faking?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1 Nov 202326min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I seem to have the opposite problem to my friends. I’ve just had a baby (she’s six months old) and want to resume having sex with my partner. I’m not exactly dying to have sex, but do think it’s important for us to remain sexual. He knocks me back every time I initiate, coming up with weak excuses why he doesn’t feel like it. I still have some baby weight to lose, so is he just not attracted to me anymore? This is doing nothing for my self-esteem.2) My wife of 12 years has suddenly changed from not enjoying sex very much to wanting to try new things. I’m obviously pleased, but also a little paranoid because she seems very practiced doing things we’ve never done together. Where has she learned this stuff? Why the change all of a sudden? I’m trying not to jump to conclusions.3) I find it really arousing when women wear high heels to bed with nothing else on. I don’t think this classifies as a foot fetish because so many men enjoy it, but my questions is this: In this very woke, consent-aware world, is it still okay to ask a woman to do this? How long into our relationship should I wait? I don’t want her to think I need this to get off, but I don’t want to end up with someone who won’t indulge it either.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

25 Okt 202323min