S6 Ep. 4: I Worry About How I Smell, Why Does He Want to Orgasm on my Breasts, and How to be a Decent Husband When You Aren’t Getting Sex
In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’ve listened to every one of your podcasts and all too often identify as the ‘bad guy.’ I like to watch porn, which I do in secret. I have a secret social media account where I follow a few rather exhibitionist (and rather fun) women (but never engage sexually with them). I dream about visiting a sex club (just to watch), and I visited a nudist beach on my own (without telling my wife) just to see what it was like. I do this because my wife of 25 years just doesn’t have the same sex drive or sexual interests as me. Despite me desperately trying, she won’t talk about sex with me. I want to be a decent and honest partner and, after listening to your podcast, I closed that social media account, backed off visiting the sex club, I’ve not returned to the beach, and am resolved to be the ‘good if not frustrated’ husband. It might not sound like it, but I’m a good, caring guy and I love my wife too much to hurt her. Your podcasts have really brought this fact home to me. So, what advice can you give to keep me on the straight and narrow?2) I love sex but worry constantly about whether I smell okay. What do men really think about how women smell? And what do you think about using vaginal melts and douching?3) Why do men like to orgasm on their partners' breasts? My boyfriend of three months recently expressed interest in doing this. When I pressed him for details, he said he doesn’t intend it to be humiliating, just finds it erotic and it’s fun to come somewhere nature did not intend. But I still don’t get it.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
26 Juli 202324min
S6 Ep. 3: I Want Her Husband, Why Won’t She Let Me Give Her Oral Sex, and Please Explain Anal Play
In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) You talk a lot about how most women have their orgasms through oral sex, but I’ve had more than one girlfriend push me away when I try to go down on her. They say they just aren’t into it. Is this true, or are there other reasons they aren’t telling me?2) I’m a 48-year-old woman and have been happily married for 12 years, but am feeling destabilized. I’ve made a new female friend and I am more than a little obsessed with her husband. He is everything my husband isn’t: good-looking, successful, sporty. My husband is a lovely man, but he doesn’t tick any of these boxes. I’m now having sexual fantasies about this guy. It’s making me feel miserable and I’m starting to avoid having sex with my husband.3) Can you tell me the difference between anal play and anal sex? I wish they would call it by something else because then I would be more interested in it. I hear about it all the time now, but I’m not even sure what anal play means.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
19 Juli 202321min
S6. Ep. 2: Talking Dirty, the Dangers of him Taking Viagra Even Though He Doesn't Need It, and What's the Point of an Open Relationship Unless Both of You are Attached?
In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) My partner wants me to talk dirty, and I can see why it’s a turn on—but I don’t have a clue how to do it. What can I say that doesn’t make me sound like an idiot or will make me want to laugh? 2) I heard you on Diary of a CEO and was especially interested in your thoughts on Viagra. My partner is 26 and takes Viagra all the time. He can get an erection without it but, you’re right, there is a world of difference between a Viagra erection and a normal one. I think he’s addicted to feeling very hard. Is this bad? Should I be encouraging him to stop?3) I am in a serious relationship with a woman who is married and in an open relationship. I have extremely strong feelings for her and she’s crazy about me. I see her 3-4 days a week and the sex and emotional connection are amazing, but she has no intention of getting a divorce. I'm not seeing anyone else, but she gets to see me AND her husband. I’m not seeing any long-term benefits for me. Should I be seeing other people while I'm with her? Do I continue with this relationship? Or do I end things and find someone who I can have a monogamous relationship with? Trouble is, I don't know if I could have a monogamous relationship again.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
12 Juli 202320min
S6 Ep. 1: Should I Gift my Daughter an Online Masturbation Course, How to Deal with Faking at the Start, and What if I Have No Fantasies?
In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) So, guys have a built-in masturbation tool (the foreskin) and they discover it very early. They have some advantage I would say for discovering their body and how it can give them the pleasure of orgasm. I have a 13-year-old daughter and want her to also learn about her body and how to give herself an orgasm. I have been thinking about giving her access to a website called OMGYes which runs a masturbation course online. Even though I think this would be good for her, I am hesitant to be the one to suggest it, being a father. I’m nervous even to suggest this to my wife.2) I'm a 48-year-old woman who would like to start dating again. But what do I do about the orgasm dilemma during the first sexual encounters with a guy? It takes time (and practice) to understand each other to achieve an orgasm for me. I've never found it at the beginning. Most guys think they can make a woman come on those first encounters, and if they don’t, it has a negative effect. But I don’t want to get caught into that bind of faking an orgasm, then not knowing how to communicate what I really need to get there. What is your advice?3) So, I'm currently in a lucky position and have a good relationship and enjoy sex. My question is how on earth do you figure out your fantasies? Is there a list of fantasies somewhere so I can see which ones appeal? I don't really understand why I don't have fantasies beyond just having sex with a person that I like. Maybe I'm just extremely unimaginative (I don't seem to dream much either!), or maybe it’s just a repressed part of my psyche! I assume I must have some fantasies tucked away, and I would really like to be 'in touch' with some of my deeper desires, as I think this is probably important to having a fulfilling sex life. Can you help point me in a direction to uncover them?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5 Juli 202332min
S5 Ep. 10: How to Set Up a Relationship So You Talk Openly About Sex, Why Am I Over-Sensitive After Orgasm, and Do I Really Have to Wear a Condom?
In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) After a few relationships in my twenties, I have enjoyed ten years of being (voluntarily) single, but am now looking to meet someone new. I’m keen for my next relationship to have open, honest communication around sex. I know it’s easier to start as you mean to go on, so I’d like to ask when and how I can start to set this precedent.2) I'm a 42-year-old female and it has always taken me ages to orgasm, but once I've had an orgasm I'm so sensitized I can't be touched...anywhere. As a result I generally just fake it for my partner so he orgasms, and I always feel unsatisfied. Is this normal, or is there something I can do to desensitize myself?3) I’m 46 and back dating after a messy divorce. I was married for 20 years and am feeling a bit nervous about it all. My main concern is safe sex. I’m on the pill so am protected against pregnancy, but should I be using a condom? I didn’t like using them in my 20s but maybe they’ve changed now. What’s the etiquette? Do I bring some with me? Should I suggest it, or wait for him to? How likely is it to catch anything later in life? To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
31 Maj 202321min
S5 Ep. 9: Do Straight Men Sleep with Other Men, Tips on Watching Porn Together, and Persuading a Partner to French Kiss
In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I love French kissing but my girlfriend does not. It's my favorite thing to do but she says that’s for teenagers or new relationships. How do I get her to see how fun it can be? Nothing seems to change her mind.2) My husband and I are in our thirties and have a child. I just recently found out that he had been cheating for the majority of our marriage—mostly with men he found on Grindr (a hook-up app for gay men). He claims he’s straight, not attracted to men, that this was only about the sex. He calls it an “itch”. He also mentioned he had been with men before we met, which he failed to share. We’re in therapy trying to save our marriage. I’m being told by him and therapists that ‘cheating is cheating, why does it matter if it’s with men or women?’ But I feel like I NEED to know who he is and part of him is his sexuality. Is this something straight men do? I am so confused and can’t explain why knowing the truth matters so much to me.3) My husband and I are bored with our sex life and quite like the idea of watching some porn together. Our question is: how do you actually do that? Do you watch it first and then have sex or have sex while you’re watching it? What’s a good place to start?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
24 Maj 202322min
S5 Ep. 8: Why Won't He Go Down On Me, I Told Friends About my Partner's Sex Kink, and Can You Be Too Wet for Sex?
In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) My new boyfriend told me I seem much wetter than other women he’s slept with. I took it as a compliment, but now he’s confessed he finds it difficult to orgasm because he can’t feel anything. Is there such a thing as being too wet for sex?2) What does it mean if a man doesn’t go down on you? I’ve met a guy I like but he hasn’t given me oral sex once and we’ve been together two months. I’ve tried pushing his head hopefully in that direction but he either doesn’t get the hint or ignores me. I’ve never had complaints from previous lovers about smelling bad, so I’m guessing this is his issue. It’s kind of a big deal for me though so I’m quite disappointed. How do I get him to take the hint? 3) My partner of four months recently revealed he has a kink. He likes to watch me masturbate to orgasm while I watch porn, while he ‘secretly’ watches me and masturbates himself. I don’t have an issue with this as we only do it occasionally. My problem is I told his secret to a friend. She told her partner who knows my partner and it all got back to him. He’s humiliated and says he will never trust me again. How do I deal with this?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
17 Maj 202322min
S5 Ep. 7: Orgasm Headaches, What's 'Normal' Porn Use, and Her Weight Worries are Ruining Our Sex Life
In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I want to know if my partner is addicted to porn or whether this is normal for a man. We have sex twice a week but he says that isn’t enough for him, so he also masturbates to porn two or three times a week. We’re in our late 20s and have been together 2 years. I don’t ask what type of porn he watches, but do wonder which sex he enjoys more: sex with me or onscreen solo sex. Two or three porn sessions a week seems a lot when he’s getting sex from me as well. Or maybe that’s completely normal. Should I be worried?2) My girlfriend always worries about her weight and doesn’t like how she looks naked. I think she looks beautiful, but because she doesn’t feel confident she makes our physical relationship so difficult. How do I help her understand that I think she’s perfect when she doesn’t?3) I went years without having sex with anyone apart from myself with my vibrator. Now I have a partner to have sex with but as luck would have it, when I'm super close to orgasming I often get a sudden, severe, throbbing headache in the back of my head. It’s so bad, we have to stop having sex—just before I orgasm. I don't get them when I use my vibrator—I think because the orgasms are much less intense. Do you know anything about these 'sex headaches' and is there anything I can do to avoid them? To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
10 Maj 202324min
