Birth Mother Matters in Adoption 5: Donna K. Evans Foundation Aftercare Program

Birth Mother Matters In Adoption Season 2 Episode 112:Gender Reveal Celebrations Gender Reveal Parties / Celebrations have become increasingly popular, incuding in the adoption community.  Birth mothers love to be able to surprise their adoptive families with the gender of their baby!  These Gender Reveal Celebrations can be conducted with assistance from the adoption agency, either in person or through the mail, text message or Skype or Facetime.  The Gender Reveal Celebrations can be inexpensive and very exciting!  Listen to learn more about adoption and Gender Reveal Celebrations!

29 Sep 202014min

The only real way two adopted children can have the same adoption story is if the same biological parents place a second baby for adoption with the same adoptive family, with the same Post Placement Communication Agreement, and even then there may be a different set of circumstances.  Because children don’t generally like to be singled out of feel different you can point out the following “non-traditional families” Children generally want to be like everyone else, so adding words in front of -siblings, -sister, -brother, just gives a shout out that  this is not a traditional relationship. Adopted Siblings/ Adopted Sisters/ Adopted BrothersFoster Siblings/ Foster Sisters/ Foster BrothersStep Siblings/ Step Sisters/ Step-BrothersHalf Siblings/ Half Sisters/ Half Brothers Adoption stories can be handled with care to not over-inflate or segregate a child’s personal history.  The focus can be on how much this child means to the family and how their life journey will  be very similar his or her siblings, since they are being raised together.  Changing the focus after discussing their adoption story to the here and now and what they can do gives the child control and power, which is important when a child feels a lack of control as they may feel if their adoption story is compared to a sibling’s adoption or birth story.  At the end of the day, we are really just talking about family.  Make th focus on what a family is and what makes a family.

25 Sep 202019min

Podcast 110- Part 1 of 2: When Another Adopted Sibling Joins the Family “Not by blood, but bonded to each other just the same.” – Unknown Listen and learn about adopting a second baby.  Listen to answers to commonly asked questions regarding adopting a second child.   Common Questions Asked by Adoptive Families: When is the “best” time to begin a second adoption?Should I adopt a baby again to maintain the birth order?Should I adopt the same race as my first baby?What if the Birth Parents of my adopted child experience a second unplanned pregnancy and choose adoption?  Should I wait and see if this happens?Should I choose a gender this time?What if I prepare my child for this baby and the  birth parents change their mind about placing the baby for adoption?What if the Birth Parents want a different type of Post Adoption Communication Agreement?After I bring my second baby home - how do I answer the question- “are they siblings?”“How many babies are enough?  Our birth parents keep coming back pregnant, but I don’t want to not adopt our children’s siblings?”“Our second adopted child has a very different adoption story” – how do I explain this to both of our children?

22 Sep 202039min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, 109: The Pressure of Not Adopting People are “peer pressured” for different reasons in their lives and the types of pressure change with age group. The reasons for birth parents choosing not to parent are sometimes very reflective of why non-birth parents choose to not have children; they are not in a stable relationship, they have personal goals they want to achieve (a maybe certain level of school), they want to begin a new career and climb the ladder, or maybe after having one child, they think- I have reached my limit. Everyone may not be meant to be a parent, some people have very high career goals that will absolutely monopolize every moment of their time, others may have dreams of exotic and frequent travel, others may just want to focus on the married or single life and have a clean house or maybe they really just don’t like children or feel the responsibility of being a parent is overwhelming.   Making a choice to be a parent is a wonderful gift, choice and opportunity, but only if its' one you want.  Being told; “when you see your baby- you will fall in love” or “I understand I felt the same way and when I became a mom I loved it” or “Your biological clock is ticking- its now or never.”  Don’t allow yourself to succumb to this pressure, make a decison that is best for you and if married, your spouse. Adoption is a wonderful choice, if becoming a parent or expanding your family is your goal.

16 Sep 202034min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, 108: The " What Ifs" in Adoption A major concern of many birth parents and adoptive families is what happens if my adoption does not go as planned?  In life, so many of us worry about the “what ifs?” We have these worries and fears regardless of whether we are making an adoption plan, pregnant, embarking on a new life journey, about to make a change in life or maybe just struggle with fear and anxiety.   For birth parents, your adoption plan, you are in control as much as anyone can be.  You get to make the decisions about your baby, you get to choose the adoptive family and you get to decide how you want the process to go.  There are aspects of an adoption that will be out of your control, but going into an adoption, try to understand that some of these aspects would be the same if you were pregnant and planning on parenting.   For adoptive families; you can choose what adoption agency you would like to work with, what your adoption match preferences are and which birth mothers you would like to be presented to.  This is where a lot of adoptive families can struggle, in many ways it is like infertility, there is only so much you can control and adoption is a journey.  When you embark on a journey sometimes you don’t know where the road will lead to, adoption can have the same unknowns.  Sometimes things change on a dime, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.

11 Sep 202032min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, 107: Adoption in Uganda           When a crime is committed, there are ripple effects and sometimes, especially in the cases of adoption fraud, many vicitms.  Stories like the one about the agency European Adoption Consulants scare families who are interested in adopting, but know that they scare other agencies and indiviuals in the adoption field as well.  For professionals working in the adoption world, for the right reasons; for the birh paremts, the adoptees and the adoptive families, we all recognize that the actions of one agency can gove everyone elsse in the industry a black eye.  Learning about what what happened and why allows us as an agency and you as a listener learn a little bit more, becomes more educated so something like what happened in Uganda never happens again. There are many children throughout the world who are in need of parents. Economic or social issues have led to conditions in some countries where they cannot provide enough homes for their children who are in need of adoption. Building Arizona Families is dedicated to helping find adoptive families from across the United States who are ready to offer these children a safe, loving, and permanent family.   Building Arizona Families is a licensed Hague adopion agency.

8 Sep 202022min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, 106: Adoption Questions & Answers Over the past 5 decades, adoption has drastically changed and all for the better.  The option of  (for the majority of women) women being sent away to pregnancy homes to have their babies, place them for adoption and return to their own home and pretend as if their pregnancy never occurred.  Pregnant women who choose adoption are now and can be celebrated for making a beautiful choice.  Adoption doesnt have to be whispered anymore or a secret locked away.  TImes have changed in the adoption world and the adoption world is better for it.  Listen to this podcast and learn. If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, a licensed adoption agency is your best option. Local licensed adoption agencies can meet with you face to face, hold your hand when needed, and can remain with you throughout your pregnancy. In addition, you can visit your case worker after placement.  Building Arizona Families is a licensed adoption agency that can walk with you every step of the way.  We would love to hear from you to find out how we can help.  You can call or text us 24/7 at 623.695-4112.

4 Sep 202021min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, Episdoe 105 : Effects of Adoption Reunification on Children of an Adult Adoptee Listen to the eldest daughter of Kelly Rourke-Scarry, Michelle discuss the impact of her mother reunifying with her biological graandmother (Kelly Rourke-Scarry's biological mother, Donna K. Evans.)  Learn about the positive impact reunification can have on more family members other than just the adoptee.  Listen to Michelle talk about the woman who made the bravest choice of adoption; what Donna K. Evans was really like, her experience with her and what she learned from her.  Learn about the impact of Michelle's relationship with her biological grandmother when they reunified.  Its raw, real and eye-opening!

1 Sep 202016min