Birth Mother Matter Adoption S3, Ep207: First Conversation With a Birth Mother

Podcast 96: Adoption Agency Front Line Workers- Birth Mother Case Manager Assistants Learning about the roles within an adoption agency. Adoption Birth Mother Case Management Assistants are the support team for the birth mother case managers.  Their roles, duties and responsibilities include the following: Birth Mother intakesAssisting with Birth Mother housing during her pregnancyAssist in financial assistance distributionArranging and providing transportation for medical appointmentsAssist in ordering, stocking and building food boxes for the food pantryAssisting Birth Mother Case Managers when they have a time conflict between two birth mothers and need a second handThey can help execute Birth Mother DocumentsThey also can assist in the Donna Kay Evans Program Listen to one of Building Arizona Families' Birth Mother Case Manager Assistants: Amber!   You will hear answers to questions like: How long have you been a BM CM Assistant?What is your favorite/least favorite aspect?What surprised you in learning about adoptions?What would you say to someone interested in becoming an BM CM Assistant? Education is the key to understanding all about adoptions.  Learn more now!

22 Juli 202025min

The Ugly Side of Adoption: Failed Adoption Matches, Disruptions and Dissolutions Part 2     Regarding the financial aspect of a disruption.  Our attorney has been very strict about not deviating from our contract.    What many adoptive families don’t understand is why they don’t get refunded their money in these situations.  What financially goes into an adoption includes: Agency insurancelegal feesInvestigation servicesBirth father notification servicesCase management for both the birth mother and adoptive familyAgency overhead costs In this Podcast, listen to our Director of Operations, Adam Scarry discuss what happens  financially when adoptions don't have a happy ending.  Some of the topics he will be addressing are: What role do you play in dealing with failed adoption plans?Why do adoptive families reach out to you after they are unhappy with the answers they receive from their case worker?What have you learned from working with adoptive families during this difficult time?

18 Juli 202020min

Birth Mother Matter in Adoption Episode 94: The Ugly Side of Adoption Failed Adoption Matches, Disruptions and Dissolutions Part 1 What’s the difference between a failed adoption match, an adoption disruption and adoption dissolution? Terminology: Failed Adoption Match is when a birth mother, has established herself with a prospective adoptive family and decides not to procced with an adoption plan or that prospective adoptive family.Adoption Disruption is the interruption of an adoption prior to finalization. It is also called a "failed adoption" or a "failed placement."Adoption Dissolution is the interruption or "failure" of an adoption after finalization. When adoptions fail- What no one wants to hear or think about when they are planning their family and traditional methods are not an option.  Do they happen? How often? Why?  Who is to blame? What happens to the adoptive family financially?  What happens to the birth mother?  Words cannot erase that emotional pain an adoptive family is experiencing.  There are no words of comfort that can be expressed by anyone at that time of loss.  The interruption of an adoption can be respectfully compared to a death, its an indescribable loss.  As an adoption agency, we are all vested in the process of adoption and are very fortunate to have members of the adoption triad working on our team; giving personal insight on top of their professional insight.  In my opinion, I will also state that a failed adoption matched or adoption disruption is the number one cause of adoption social worker burnout and resignation.

14 Juli 202028min

Birth Mother Matter in Adoption Ep. 93: Expectations vs. Reality in Adoption One of the roles of working with an adoption agency or an adoption attorney is to make sure both the adoptive parents and the birth parents are living on Planet Reality, which can be accomplished by the following to both the adoptive parents and the birth parents: Thoroughly explaining the adoption process in great detail and making sure that both parties understand.  Information is often better understood if more than one method of transmission is used to convey the dame information; oral, written, watched.  Additionally, going over the information multiple times during the adoption journey, providing reminders is helpful as well.  A reference guide given to the party is an additional helpful later.Have Adoption Information available and easily accessible for either party to reference:Make sure that the lines of communication are always open for either party during the duration of the adoption journey.  That way questions can be quickly answered and anxiety relieved.Lastly and most importantly, make sure that both parties understand what adoption is and what adoption isn’t.

10 Juli 202018min

Birth Mother Matter in Adoption Ep. 92: Adoption Match Preferences Differences Between Birth Parents and Adoptive Parent For Adoptive Families Adoption Match Preferences Drug useMental illnessOpen vs. Closed adoptionCommunicationRealistic expectationsWhat is disclosed to bms and what is notRelationship with bm: during pregnancy and afterUnderstanding the internal conflict a bm may have regarding her relationship with apsBeing able to meet a bm mentally and emotionally where they areBMs may change their mind about the hospital plan or level of contact For Birth Mothers/Fathers Education undertsanding what adoption is vs. co-parenting or fosteringOpen vs. Closed AdoptionCommunicationUnderstanding the mindset of adoptive parentsRealistic expectationsWhat is disclosed to aps and what is notRelationship with aps: during pregnancy and after For Both Sides Establishing a relationship takes time, effort and energyTrust has to be builtEvery relationship has its ups and downsEveryone needs graceAttachment is real and goodbyes can be really tough

7 Juli 202027min

For international adoptions, the Hague was implemented for protection of the children, birth parents and adoptive parents. The Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption (Hague Adoption Convention) is an international treaty that provides important safeguards to protect the best interests of children, birth parents, and adoptive parents who are involved in intercountry adoptions. How to protect yourself against being scammed by an adoption agency, attorney or adoption professional: Learn the adoption entity’s legal business name, along with any akas, physical address, physical phone number, city business license.See who the entity is accredited through If pursuing an international adoption- Hague AccreditedSee if there are any lodged complaints and the outcomesCheck with the state licensing departmentCheck the BBB.Read and understand any contract you sign. Ask questions.Look for transparency.Check references of families who have used their adoption servicesBe aware of current adoption scams.Choose an experienced adoption professional Building Arizona Families is a licensed and Hague Accredited Adoption Agency in the State of Arizona.

3 Juli 202020min

Adoption is an entity where scams are a part of our reality and one where we have had to stay ahead of the scams, change our protocol and make sure that our clients understand that we take our jobs seriously.  Let’s dig deeper into birth mothers by breaking scamming down; Why do birth mothers scam adoption agencies?What types of scams have you seen/witnessed?What do you do as an agency to protect the agency and adoptive families from being scammed?What can adoptive families do if they are scammed? Why do birth mothers scam adoption agencies? Some birth mothers may attempt or succeed to some degree to scam adoption agencies because of the following: They are living on the street and are desperate for financial assistanceThey have a friend who is pregnant and working with an adoption agency and want to receive the same benefits and assistance that their friend is receivingThey have done an adoption in the past and want to receive the same assistance and benefits as they had previouslyThey may have a drug addiction and are looking for a way to financially sustain their drug habit.   What types of scams have you seen/witnessed? Women have come into the office to begin to make an adoption plan and tried to avoid taking pregnancy test.Women try to physically change a pregnancy test.Bring an altered ultrasound.Bring altered medical records.Take a pregnancy test  out of the trash can.Continue an adoption plan after a miscarriage or abortion.Women pretend to be vested in an adoption plan, when their plan is to parent or to work with Child Protective Services.

30 Juni 202025min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #89: Why Women Choose Adoption Again In speaking solely for our agency, Building Arizona Families; I get asked this question often from adoptive families:  “What are the chances that our child’s birth mother may get pregnant and choose adoption again?” The answer may surprise you…very possibly. We do everything we can as an adoption agency to assist our birth mother in leaving our adoption program after placement in a better state that she came to us in.  We offer to assist birth mothers obtain birth control and assist them long term through the Donna K. Evans Program.  However, some women do find themselves experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and choose adoption again.  When they come back to our program, sometimes they do want to match with the same adoptive family! At the Donna K. Evans Foundation, our number one goal is to empower, elevate and assist women in believing that they matter, their adoption choice matters and that negative life cycles can stop.  We believe in the power of hope, promise and the will to succeed.  As a community of adoption supporters, it is critical to support life and the power of it.  Being a believer in life does not have to stop at the birth of a baby, but continues through the life of the birth mother.

26 Juni 202019min