Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 3, Ep 221; Adoption News and Updates

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 80: Two Lives, One Choice, Part 1 of 3 LIsten to Ron Reigns as he talks about his own experience with abortion and how it has impacted his life and his loved ones.  Listen to what it is like to reveal a regretted previous abortion choice to your spouse.  Listen to the heartbreaking discussion of how to discuss it with his adult son.  Ron shows bravery, heroism and cander in his openess to discuss what he considers a huge regret. From an adoption standpoint, most subscribe to two out of the three options: adoption or parenting.  The adoption community’s main goals include building families, preserving lives, and assisting women who are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy.  An important aspect to remember is that adoption agencies generally do not judge or condemn anyone for making an abortion choice in the past; the goal is to educate, empower and preserve future lives. Abortion represents death, finality and loss.  How can the ends ever justify the means when we are talking about a baby, life?  How often have you heard people taking a stand for or against abortion?  Both sides of the abortion coin are fiercely defensive of their opinion; justifying their position and rational.  Taking a step back to look at both sides’ positions and rationales can help clarify and educate the opposing side.  The more abortion is understood, the more one understands and accepts that abortion is anti-human, anti-life, and anti-woman.

26 Maj 202019min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 79: Adoption Miracles According to Dictionary.com, the definition of a miracle is an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause. such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of God.a wonder; marvel.a wonderful or surpassing example of some quality Working in the adoption world for almost 16 years and living in it for 47, I have seen miracles.  Ones that I myself may not believe if I didn’t have the documentation or see it for myself.  Sometimes miracles may not be miraculous for a person not involved in the miracle, but sometimes something so amazing happens, it is just too lifechanging to forget. These are real stories of real people, to safeguard their privacy I will be removing and replacing any identifying information. If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, a licensed adoption agency is your best option. Local licensed adoption agencies can meet with you face to face, hold your hand when needed, and can remain with you throughout your pregnancy. In addition, you can visit your case worker after placement.  Building Arizona Families is a licensed adoption agency that can walk with you every step of the way.  We would love to hear from you to find out how we can help.  You can call or text us 24/7 at: 623.695-4112.

22 Maj 202027min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #78: Effects of Social Media on Adoption  It is important to be cautious when using social media because there may be some downfalls in incorporating social media and your adoption process, that could potentially open you up to both scams and criticism.   There are many suggestions for adoptive families looking to connect with a birth mother; getting a Google Voice number, an answering/screening service or setting up a voice mail for someone to call if they have any questions or are thinking of placing their child for adoption. Another option is to include your adoption agency or attorney’s information so the potential birth mother can work directly with the adoption agency or attorney. One of the areas where adoptive families are exposed to adoption scams is through their adoption profile, accessible on a social media platform, whereas if an adoption profile is registered and on an adoption agency website, the interested party has little identifying information and has to go through the potential entity.   Social Media can be a great tool when used with safety and precautions and as an adoption resource.

20 Maj 202020min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode #77: Parenting An Adopted Child, Part 2 Depending on factors, variables, belief in parenting styles parenting a biological child in comparison to parenting an adopted child are not very different. The focus should be added into your parenting rather than taken out.  Here are some examples and suggestions in a brief overview.  Listen to the episode to hear in depth:  When bringing an adopted newborn home, it is recommended to not overstimulate the baby.Remember the nature vs. nurture debate.Don’t alter or change your parenting style because you want to focus on the fact that your child was “adopted.”  Alter or change your parenting style because it would be a better match with your child and your household.Try to let the “adopted” word go.  Focus on your child, rather than on your “adopted” child.Try not to fall into the category of “well if he was my biological child….”Teach what a family is from the beginning focusing on things like: love, dedication, support, commitment rather than strictly on biology.Try to “normalize” adoption in your household.Stop talking about how “lucky” you or your adopted child is; or do it in the same way you would about a biological child.Be mindful of what you say and do. Teach your child how to celebrate differences and similarities.   Parenting an adopted child should be viewed as adding in some extra layers to secure a solid parent-child relationship.  The most important aspect of parenting an adopted child, in my opinion is to insure: unconditional love, unconditional acceptance, unconditional forgiveness, permanence and stability.

15 Maj 202034min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode#76: Parenting a Child  Adopted at Birth There are some variables that may impact and affect the way a parent “parents” a child: Gender of the childParental relationship with their own parents (adopted child’s grandparents) and the parenting they, themselves were reared inA parent’s own temperament, their level of educational, culture, socioeconomic status and the influence of their spouseA parent’s personal life experiences, their employment or lack of employment or maybe mistakes they have made or have been impacted bySocial Media, Outside Perceptions and previous experience There are so many similarities to parenting a biological child in comparison to parenting an adopted child.  Here are five to start with: Parental love should be unconditionalChoose your core values FamilyRight vs. WrongRespectSelf-disciplineEmpathy/Compassion/ SympathyGenerosityConsistency is keyPracticing what you preachPrioritization Parenting an adopted child, does not need to be viewed as tricky, touchy or complicated.  It should be viewed as adding in some extra layers to secure a solid parent-child relationship.  The most important aspect of parenting an adopted child, in my opinion is to ensure: unconditional love, unconditional acceptance, unconditional forgiveness, permanence and stability.

12 Maj 202028min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #75: Misunderstandings Surrounding Adoption Birth Mothers love their babies and are making an adoption choice because they have chosen to put their babies before themselves.  Birth mothers may be facing factors that society may not realize: There may be little to zero support from friends or family members.Drug use and homelessness are very common reasons for an adoption choice.Birth mothers are very afraid of being judged for their adoption choice.Birth mothers may struggle during their adoption journey and its important to understand when: Attending an OBGYN appointmentExplaining their adoption choiceChoosing an adoptive familyMaking an adoption planReviewing adoption consent paperwork prior to labor and deliveryThe birth of their babyLeaving the hospital4.Saying goodbye to their baby birth mother may have been in foster care and has no family members in her life.This may be not be the first baby placed for adoption by this birth mother. Celebrating adoption as a choice for unplanned pregnancies is a positive way to show your support for our adoption community.  Understanding adoption truths allows facts to surface and myths to dissolve.  It takes a village to raise a child and a nation to support adoption.

8 Maj 202032min

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #74: Finding Peace in Uncharted Waters; Reaching the Acceptance Stage To date all of us are surrounded by uncharted territory, learning to navigate and forage new paths, create a new lifestyle, then the one we were previously used to.  Whether we considered ourselves happy, fulfilled, living a life of joy or even the life we wanted to be living, we were familiar with it, it was comfortable, routine, and few of us like change.  COVID-19 has bought us almost nothing but change, fear and grief.  This can in some instances parallel some situations in the adoption process for both the birth mother and/or the adoptive family.  The Kübler-Ross model of grief teaches us that the 5 stages of grief entail the following: DenialAngerBargainingDepressionAcceptance For a Birth Mother: When a birth mother feels like her family and friends do not support her adoption choice.When a birth mother struggles with her adoption choice after placing her baby for adoption.When a birth mother feels like the adoptive family she chose is not following through with their agreed upon Post Adoption Communication Agreement. For an Adoptive Family: When a birth mother does not choose them to be the adoptive family for her baby.When a birth mother changes her mind causing a disruption in an adoption match between her and an adoptive family.When an adoptive family feels like a birth mother is not following through with their agreed upon Post Adoption Communication Agreement. Whether we are grieving over the Coronavirus Pandemic or an unfortunate adoption experience, grief is still grief.  The stages of grief are vital to learning to live again and find the joy in life.

5 Maj 202027min

Birth Mother Matters #73: Naseem- A Birth Mother's Adoption Journey Listen to the story of one brave women who choose adoption for her babies.  She shares her selfless choice, her reasons behind her decisions, the struggles and her experience.  She is one of our podcast listeneners who wanted to share her story from another state because she believes in the power of adoption, despite the heartbreaking choice of a mother.  Choosing adoption meant choosing the best life for her daughters, despite the internal heartache for herself, making the decison out of a mother's love. Choosing adoption means choosing an option with support, aftercare and access to financial resources.  Adoption is a beautiful choice and one that is increasingly becoming a more popular choice.  If you are pregnant and are considering adoption, we are a licensed, full-service, non-profit Arizona Adoption Agency.  We believe in adoption aftercare services and have a program on site to provide continued support through the Donna K. Evans Foundation.  You can contact us 24/7 at (623) 695-4112.  You are not alone and we want to help, thank you for considering adoption, you are making an amazing choice.  Call or Text: (623) 695-4112, Email: info@buildingarizonafamilies.com

2 Maj 202025min